Dreaded BF step mother

[Phil McCrackin]

Hiya everyone. So I’ve recently met back up and rekindled a romance with an old school friend. He’s amazing lovely and I really feel like he is my soul mate. The only thing is is that he is currently living with his dad and step mum. And although his dad pays for all the bills and mortgage she doesn’t want me there. And she makes it very clear too. She threw out my razor I left in the bathroom from my shower. She doesn’t say hi to me she just says you shouldn’t be here. And she slams the doors shut to make a point. She is a very negative person. My BF and his dad tell me to ignore her and I’m always welcome but I’m not sure what I should do. Advise please thank you

 

[BettyCrocker]

The only thing you can do is just ignore her, don’t even bother trying to be nice or talk to her, just treat her like she’s not even there. She sounds like an hole! Can you spend more time together at your place rather than at their house??

 

[Phil McCrackin]

The only thing you can do is just ignore her, don’t even bother trying to be nice or talk to her, just treat her like she’s not even there. She sounds like an hole! Can you spend more time together at your place rather than at their house??

Thank you and not until 2 weeks until I’m in my new place. Honestly I’ve never met anyone so negative and miserable. I will just ignore her

 

[TheDuchess]

Is she worried about Covid being brought into the home?

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Assuming you are in the UK could it be to do with COVID/lockdown rules why she doesn’t want you in the house?

 

[ItsEmmie]

I wouldn’t want you in my house if you don’t actually live there what with covid. If you do then she’s just being a dick. I’m shocked her partner isn’t telling her to get a grip

 

[jazyblu]

I think it’s incredibly disrespectful of your boyfriend and his dad to treat her like this in her own home, but if a red flag from bf if this is how he treats family. Particularly mentioning she doesn’t pay the mortgage. Wtf if you go on maternity leave and your partner pays the mortgage do you not get a say in your own home? If she doesn’t feel comfortable with someone coming and going in the middle of a pandemic that is fair enough.
It’s annoying but it is her home not yours. Maybe your boyfriend should stay at yours instead.
Everyone in story is being a dick and this is a really weird family dynamic.

 

[Raininvain]

I'd stay away personally, you also shouldn't have left a razor in the shower. Its not your home and some people are worried about BBVs and Covid etc. Its her home as much as the Dads.
Just see your boyfriend elsewhere, I personally wouldnt set foot in a house again if someone spoke to me like this. Short of telling you to bleeping get out what more can she say?

 

[Lollipop2123]

It sounds like she's rude but also you shouldn't be in their house anyway and are breaking covid rules.

 

[mermaidexoxo]

How recent did you start seeing each other again? If very recent then she has every right to not want others in the house with everything going on in regards to COVID and more areas being in tier 4, regardless of who pays the mortgage.

However, if I was her I would go about things more politely. If your boyfriend and his dad are fine with you visiting then just ignore her and keep your distance. There’s not much else you can do.

 

[Raininvain]

Also by continuing to disrespect her, she could end up getting really nasty and threatening. Last thing you want is her trying to physically throw you out of the house or attacking you or something like that. If she 's slamming doors etc, shes showing her anger and its not a massive jump to her having a go.

 

[Babyyoda88]

Hiya everyone. So I’ve recently met back up and rekindled a romance with an old school friend. He’s amazing lovely and I really feel like he is my soul mate. The only thing is is that he is currently living with his dad and step mum. And although his dad pays for all the bills and mortgage she doesn’t want me there. And she makes it very clear too. She threw out my razor I left in the bathroom from my shower. She doesn’t say hi to me she just says you shouldn’t be here. And she slams the doors shut to make a point. She is a very negative person. My BF and his dad tell me to ignore her and I’m always welcome but I’m not sure what I should do. Advise please thank you

My ex’s nan was like that to me to begin with (they lived with her back when we started dating). She’d say through the door that she wants me to go home , that she hated my name and other mean things, and I was mortified because I was really quiet and had come from a really kind big family were you were never spoken about like that and only showed people respect.

she eventually mellowed and grew to love me and we got on great. In fact when we broke up she apparently made him cry with having a big go at him at how he had treated me and what a mistake he made.

so she might mellow with time and I’m sure it’ll be better when you don’t have to go round there as much.

Edit- could it be covid related that she’s annoyed you’re there? That could be a reason she’s that way.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I agree with the stepmun you shouldn’t bleeping be there. We are in the middle of a pandemic and I’m assuming your hopping between places and meeting up with mates

Honestly stay away from their place and have him round yours.

 

[Blonde123]

It might be a good idea to ask her outright why she isn’t happy with you being there. If it is to do with COVID, then like others have said you’ll have to try and respect her wishes and stay away. It’s a weird time for everyone at the moment and a lot of people are on edge.

 

[Poptart]

Why doesn't she want you there? That's what needs to be addressed. If it's because of Covid I don't blame her she has a point, although she could go about it alot better. Have you asked why she doesn't want you in the house?

 

[kadykal95]

Personally if she lives there full time and she's literally telling you that you shouldn't be there i'd leave and not go back.

 

[LinaLamont]

If it’s because of Covid then she’s right although there’s no need for her to be rude. Also I think it’s a bit uncalled for to mention that she doesn’t pay the mortgage or bills; as far as you or anyone else is concerned it’s still her house and you should respect that. You’ve said you only recently got back with this guy so maybe leaving personal items in the bathroom was a bit over familiar. I wouldn’t appreciate someone I barely knew feeling entitled to treat my home like a hotel. Just avoid going there until you get your own place in a couple of weeks

 

[JoeBloggs]

I take it that you're not there full time, therefore as other have said you shouldn't really be there at all and unless you are in tier 1/2 then you also shouldn't be seeing your partner indoors (support bubbles aside).

As this seems to be a new relationship, leaving your items in the shower and staying over could be treading on their toes. Regardless of who pays the bills (none of your business) it's their home. Not your boyfriends and not yours. You need to speak to your partner and establish what the issue is. If you're due to move into your own place, perhaps she thinks you see their home as a free hotel while you're in limbo. Perhaps some more background would help.

 

[SpiceWeasel]

I agree about the background info. If you are in dire straits and nowhere to go I would feel differently than if you have somewhere of your own to go to and just coming and going as you please. I feel very strongly about not breaking the lockdown rules but if a friend/family member or one of my boyfriend’s friends/family was going to have nowhere to stay otherwise, I would take them in even if I wasn’t particularly happy about it.

 

[Pinkblush]

I could never keep going into anyones home where I wasn't welcome. Whatever the situation. If my family didn't make the person I'm with welcome and it was something I couldn't reslove amicably then they I would see them separately and not put a person thru it.