Downing Street Men #14

[Falkor]

Matt's a fan of the closed croc clog so probably best suited to him


Apparently matt is doing a covid update just after 10

Mr F has closed croc clogs. He sits with his legs crossed at the ankles and every time his feet move they make a squeaking noise. Drives me NUTS! I'd advise Jo and Gym&Tonic to get Matt out of the habit of wearing them ASAP.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

I have secret fantasies of sordid sex with Secretary of State for Health and Social Care. My life is really shit clearly

 

[Platypusfattypus]

It’s like a very very nice version of mumsnet! Everyone on this thread is lovely, it’s light hearted and there’s no bitching, it’s like a comfy pair of slippers and on occasion an uncomfortable thong

I do love it here, you are my people. It never fails to cheer me up

 

[Renegadedancer]

Dodgy hair extensions and too many pizzas

And too much Whitty sausage

Matts latest message is ‘don’t kill your gran’ yeah thanks for that Matt, I’ll bear that in mind

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Parliament is back! The drought has ended

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Oh look at my sexy guy

Ready to harvest his crop.
Wearing his sandals

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Yes...of course it’s sandal shaped

Aw I want a badge. I wonder what shape badge Raab would have (a massive cock shaped one because he both is one and has one)

 

[Falkor]

Let's see, nights out...

Boris - rugger-clad group of lads on a pub crawl involving vast quantities of alcohol, probably someone doing a yard of ale, and everyone being egged on to do increasingly stupid dares by the rest of the group thumping on the tables. Inevitably going to end up staggering down a road carrying a traffic cone or two.

Rishi - discreet, extremely expensive restaurant, quite probably a private dining room.

Matt - night out in a country pub, guaranteed to fall asleep with his head on your shoulder by 10pm, making cute snuffly snoring noises.

Raab - bad boy who'll pick you up in a club and end up shagging you in an alley next to a wheelie bin

Whitty - BDSM play party.

 

[Renegadedancer]

Is it true you based your smile on Greg Davies?

Is it true you follow a thread on tattle and love those horny bitches The honeys?

 

[marielille]

Saw this and thought of this thread

 

[Gym&Tonic]

Matty Hugecock look someone has helpfully circled it!

 

[Falkor]

Raab's spitting image puppet
View attachment 239525
It reminds me of someone else though, I can't think who and its bugging me.

And Gove's

I get Hugo Weaving off the Raab puppet.

Frankie Boyle once described Gove as looking like a tree frog trying to escape from a testicle sack and that puppet captures it perfectly!!

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Constant living in fear of my Whitty and Parliament porn pics being discovered
View attachment 234782

So so true. My download album

 

[Gym&Tonic]

Another new one I’ve never seen before

 

[cushtybert]

YESS BABY!!!!

How many accounts have you made on here in order to vote for him

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Thanks... She's obviously an Amateur

Total. Everyone knows this is the thread to be a part of if you have a weird sexual fantasy about a tory mp (or chief medical officers/leader of the oppositions/but not Gove because he is pissy/or Rees Mogg because that's really fucking wrong)

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Can you imagine now many times Raab’s jaw would twitch?

About as many times as my fanny would flutter

 

[coconochanel]

Ok. I might burst a few Rishi bubbles here but i feel the need to inform. Make of it what you will. The chancellor dined at Soho little house Mayfair this eve. Sat side by side with his wife at the back of the restaurant but facing all the diners. Looks 18 in the flesh, wind could topple him over. Trousers 1.5 inches too short with a pair of floppy, unstructured tennis shoes. Sorry to be bring you such sad sartorial news in these unprecedented times. Glossy hair the only redeeming feature.

I can confirm that wasn't his wife..Im his wife and I did not go to Mayfair the other evening.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

And then jump on you

’Like a wardrobe falling on you with its key still in the lock’

 

[cushtybert]

Poll ideas
Who has the biggest cock
Who has acted like the biggest cock
Which one of us will get to see one of their cocks
Can we get photo evidence of one of their cocks
How much do the honeys like saying cock