Do you think my partner's grandparents are unfair?

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Found out that over Christmas when my two children stayed with their grandparents with their two cousins they were given some spending money.

Well that's nice isn't it?

No. Wait for this.

Mine were the youngest two.

The youngest for £1

Second youngest £2

Second oldest £3

Oldest £4

Why would you do this? To make a point? Apparently he was happy that it made an equal £10.

Anyone else had this? The age gaps aren't even that much really. Not like one is 16 and another is 2. So they all knew the difference
 
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Does it matter ?????????

😂😂😂 no offence but.... this is an actual reason to start a thread?!
 
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I think it does matter if kids know the difference,
Its not fair that the eldest gets the most.
My 3 kids are all given £2 a week pocket money from their Grandparents, my youngest was given a £2 coin while other two were given 2 x £1 coins each. We had to explain that its the same.
If the Grandparents can't treat their Grandchildren the same then they shouldn't bother at all. I had this with my in laws as they spoilt their granddaughter more (as she was 1st girl born in 41 years) than their 2 grandsons - i did have a row with her and told her to treat them the same or don't bother at all.

Personally its not all about the money BUT its the principle of treating children unfairly, I would have a conversation with them and ask them why they have done that even say it sarcastically if you wish
 
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I spent a total of 30 seconds creating a thread, not weeks penning a book 😂

If you don't care you could just not reply 😂😂😂
but the act of setting up a thread to get other people opinions means it’s an issue for you 🤷‍♀️

I think you should tell your kids to be grateful for what they got, be grateful their grandparents had them over and they clearly love them.

and you should tell their grandparents that until they learn how to be grateful, no money should be given to any of them at all.

Well that's nice isn't it?

No. Wait for this.
and this might be why they’re slightly ungrateful and upset about the cousins get more cash 🙄
 
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It's a bit weird but I wouldn't personally give it too much headspace...

Depends how old the kids are?
If it was £10 and £20 I'd be a little annoyed but it's only a couple of pound and a younger child is less likely to spend more money.
 
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I think it does matter if kids know the difference,
Its not fair that the eldest gets the most.
My 3 kids are all given £2 a week pocket money from their Grandparents, my youngest was given a £2 coin while other two were given 2 x £1 coins each. We had to explain that its the same.
If the Grandparents can't treat their Grandchildren the same then they shouldn't bother at all. I had this with my in laws as they spoilt their granddaughter more (as she was 1st girl born in 41 years) than their 2 grandsons - i did have a row with her and told her to treat them the same or don't bother at all.

Personally its not all about the money BUT its the principle of treating children unfairly, I would have a conversation with them and ask them why they have done that even say it sarcastically if you wish
That's my issue, it's not about the money about but that they are treated differently. As a parent I would never great my children differently. I couldn't imagine giving four times more to one.

They are all about 18 months ish apart from 12 to 7.

They went to the pound shop so one child could buy 4 things and another could buy 1.

I'd rather they were given nothing than treated differently. I don't think it's ungrateful not to want children to be treated differently.
 
It’s not fair, but then life isn’t fair 🤷🏼‍♀️ That doesn’t make it right, but probably not something worth giving head space. If it repeatedly happens then maybe it’s something you can address?
 
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Yeah see I could understand if it was given based on which child granny/grandad liked more and s/he got them to fight for her/his attention hunger games style.

but kids should accept it’s done based on age, in the same way bed time is done based on age.

If a child is coming home annoyed they didn’t get as much money as cousin Sandra who’s xx years older, and they’re not excited about spending time with their grandparents and cousins.....
than he/she wouldn’t be getting any pocket money from me until he/she was 21 🤣

kids learn from adults. and if mammy is upset her kid got a pound less than her cousin they’ll learn that as well.
It’s the parents job to tell the kid that’s nothing to be upset about 🤷‍♀️ Because it’s not.

let’s hope the grandparents will is a bit more fair when the time comes or shot will hit the fan 😬
 
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Found out that over Christmas when my two children stayed with their grandparents with their two cousins they were given some spending money.

Well that's nice isn't it?

No. Wait for this.

Mine were the youngest two.

The youngest for £1

Second youngest £2

Second oldest £3

Oldest £4

Why would you do this? To make a point? Apparently he was happy that it made an equal £10.

Anyone else had this? The age gaps aren't even that much really. Not like one is 16 and another is 2. So they all knew the difference
I'm far older than your children (far older)... And my sister is 8 years older. We're the only grandchildren, when our Granda died, he left a cash gift for each of us. He did similar, my sister getting more, double in fact. We didn't mind, he was like that all his life, the elder one getting more. It's a family joke now. 😂. But no, for your situation. It's not bloody right. Maybe raise it with humour, but to be honest if the children were not bothered (yours) you've raised them well. But if not handled properly it will bring problems into adulthood.
 
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Maybe I missed the part about being grateful that you get money from grandparents
Maybe I’m showing my age but no one owes anyone anything or has to give you anything
It’s this mentality that annoys me

If it bothers you that much give it back, tell the grandparents don’t give them money. Job done
 
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Okay as they're older I can see why it annoyed you. If they'd been like, under 4, I wouldn't have thought much of it. He should've given them equal amount.

Where were they? Even £4 isn't going to buy you much.... bit stingy. lol

I sorta had this with my ex-MIL & FIL. My son used to go and stay with them occasionally but I had the opposite problem in that they'd spoil him more than my nieces and nephews, because he had cancer. They used to argue he deserved it more but I made them stop it and treat them all equally or I won't be letting him stay over. It wasn't fair on his cousins and they were old enough to notice (they were 7 and 8ish at the time). They've really changed their tune though because they have no interest in my daughter and other son at all :rolleyes: They got £1.50 books for christmas. Would've gotten away with it if they hadn't left the bloody price stickers on.
 
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Maybe I missed the part about being grateful that you get money from grandparents
Maybe I’m showing my age but no one owes anyone anything or has to give you anything
It’s this mentality that annoys me

If it bothers you that much give it back, tell the grandparents don’t give them money. Job done
I think she's grateful but I also agree that if you're going to do it for one it should be the same for everyone, unless there was a genuine reason to do otherwise. I wouldn't be too concerned in this scenario as at the end of the day, it is only a few pound, but I don't think that mentality works for every situation like this.
 
How old is the grandparent? I feel like the view that the oldest child gets the most and they should all just be grateful for any pocket money at all could be a generational thing and that s/he would be completely bemused if you brought this up as a problem.

I can see why you're a bit annoyed in theory but is it really worth making a big deal about? I would just keep it in the back of my head and if a few more things happened maybe mention it then.
 
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I don’t think it is so much about the money. If child 1 wanted something for £5 but child 2 wanted something for £20, I think that’s okay if the children are equally as happy. I think when they notice a difference it gets in to touchy territory.

I’m 32, with my own 3 kids and my youngest cousin is 8. Even now if my grandparents were to buy her something, they would make sure that they brought/gave all of us the same, no matter how much we’ve told them not too
 
Teach your children to be grateful rather than upset this way they won’t go through life with a sense of entitlement.
It’s the grandads money so he can choose to gift it as he wants. And if it upset you that much just tell him not to give your kids any
 
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