Difficult behaviour in children

[leon19]

Recently my 7 year old daughters behaviour has been awful. I don't know where I'm going wrong but she does not listen to a single word me or my partner I say literally nothing. I tell her not to do something she does it anyway. She keeps being late for school which then makes me late for work because she just kicks off and refuses to get ready. She's constantly demanding all day long, constantly wanting to do naughty things. She even hits me sometimes when she doesn't get her own way. It's wearing me down and I feel awful to even think it but sometimes I don't even like being around her lately her behaviour is that bad. She's normally been a fairly pleasant child, always been abit stubborn at times. The teachers always tell me she's model pupil at school and always listens and always is polite so why does she do this at home. I speak to her about school and she normally tells me if anything is going on so I don't think there's anything going on at school to change her behaviour so negatively. Even today on the way home she's hysterically screaming and crying chucking her scooter in the street refusing to walk because I wont buy her sweets for already not listening to me. I take stuff away that doesnt work, I try to be calm and reason with her that doesnt work. I'm at my wits end. Any advice is appreciated before I end up having to call supernanny

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Do you have any indication that she may not be nuero typical?

Generally neuro diverse kids dont respond to consequences well. Not listening, avoiding instructions/requests, the hysterical upset all sound familiar to me. Mornings are particularly bad for us because its a lot of following instructions/requests/time constraints.

it would also be common to mask these behaviours at school and then unleash them with their safe space.

 

[Definitelyme]

I found age 7 quite tricky with my daughter. Not to the extreme you’ve described, which must be exhausting for you.

It sounds like she’s having real trouble controlling her emotions. We have worked on that a lot with my daughter, giving her ways Tom manage her anger and stress. We got some good books from the library which gave us lots of different mindfulness techniques for her to use to help her in moments of high emotion and it definitely helped her.

It also helped her to get a journal where she can record her feelings and good things that happened that day.

She said before she doesn’t mean To do naughty things but can’t help herself. I think reframing my own thoughts helps me somewhat, remembering how little they are still, and how their emotions are still so unstable and they can’t always control them so well as any of us would like.

I know everyone works differently, but personally I would take a step back from punishments.If she is struggling to control her own emotions then punishments won’t help because she isn’t choosing to act the way she does. I don’t know if that makes sense?
It was a rough few months with my daughter, but it didn’t last, if that’s any consolation x

 

[Sally1993]

I know it’s hard but I would perhaps try stepping back from the telling offs and punishments, and really focusing in on positive interactions. Spend some really good one to one time together and try to get the connection back. She might just be craving some love and attention x

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Has something maybe happened at school? Maybe she’s delaying going in and lashing out as a result of something?

Girls are often better at hiding things. I’m not suggesting she’s not neurotypical but my son is autistic and I’ve read about the “shaking the coke bottle” - coping, or in your daughter’s case doing well at school, but that’s like the bottle being shaken all day and when she’s home, the top comes off and everything explodes.

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.

 

[unidentified]

What you described is exactly what my daughter is like (now in her teens). Remember home is a safe space, she feels safe with you and that’s why those emotions are released. My daughter is undiagnosed ASD. Once I started reading about it and how it presents in girls it was like a lightbulb moment, so much made sense. About her and about me. If you are UK based there is a Solihull course that most councils offer through family action (used to be Barnardos). I’ve been doing it lately and it’s really made me think differently in my approaches and helped me have more tools to manage the meltdowns.

 

[monga]

My son was the same ,apparently it's to do with a shift in hormones a lot of his classmates behaviour had changed at that age too ,but they seem to have settled down again .

Here's Why Some Kids Get Moody Around 7 or 8 Years Old

If your 7- or 8-year-old has suddenly started acting moody and tearful, you're not alone. The changes in their behavior may be due to adrenarche.

www.parents.com