Depression

rainbowlemon said:

I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now and the next door neighbour situation sounds very triggering. You really do need extra support.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to start looking and applying for a new job role.

Just in case. This charity is still offering email and telephone support. Mon - Friday

Maytree | We’re open to suicidal feelings

Maytree offer a free 4 night, 5 day stay for adults, with the opportunity to be heard in complete confidence, in a caring, safe environment.

www.maytree.org.uk

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Book said:

Hi everyone, hope everyone is doing ok. I have been suffering depression anxiety for many years more than I realised. And I’ve had panic attacks that used to wake me during the night to the point I would be pacing the street in the snow. I had no idea what they were for a long time and literally thought I was about to have a heart attack every time. To be honest they got so bad in the end I used to wish I would just have a heart attack and die. Anyway I have recently had a new manager at work and after years of me being allowed set shift patterns due to this he has decided I am No longer allowed to do this. I have had to attend a flexible working interview where I ended up crying and totally humiliating myself. The manager just looked through me and either doesn’t understand is uncomfortable or doesn’t care. I spilled my soul to only find out that the filing cabinet was left open and I think other staff have read my interview notes. I’m so angry and so upset I was forced to open up and told it would be confidential but clearly it is not now. I haven’t said anything as I do not want to cause any more trouble or get the managers back up anymore than I have already done. To add my next door neighbor hung herself the same week and I’m literally obsessed with it I can’t stop googling her Twitter account and researching suicides and hanging. I just can’t wrap my head round the fact she is dead just like that, car still on the drive and I can’t stop looking at it. I just feel like quitting and yelling at the manger about all my problems and how much of a struggle life is for me and many many others I’m so stuck I don’t know what to do but really feel like the manager has zero empathy or understanding of mental health issues and I’m so soo sick of being judged and having to explain myself and having to answer to someone anymore.

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Barbie2020 said:

I’m struggling so much at the moment!

I left work last year due to depression been so bad and anxiety of going there. I have suffered from depression for all of my adult life but this year probably like so many others has been really tough. I don’t like leaving the house, my partner works away so most of the time it’s me and the dog Monday to Friday and all I’ll do is go to the shop and walk my dog.

I’m worried about money from not working but the thought of trying to find another job and go to interviews terrify me. I had an Etsy shop that was doing so well but now I’m barely making any sales.

There are so many reasons I feel depressed and I just feel like I can’t be bothered to go on anymore. I have had quite a lot of thoughts about just ending it in the last few weeks l. I always say I wouldn’t do it but sometimes life seems so bleak I just wonder how ill manage to go on.

I’m getting married soon and got a great partner who is looking after us financially but I just feel like I’m not fit for purpose in life and wonder what is the point.

Sorry I needed somewhere to just write all my feelings. Most people think I’ve got better in the last few months but I feel like I’m starting to fall into a deeper depression than ever.

Sending all my love to everyone facing mental health battles everyday, it’s exhausting.

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Clairer86 said:

i am so sorry you are feeling this way.

Please remember there are people who love and care about you.

Your boss and work sounds like an extremely toxic environment. I would honestly sign myself off sick and then get an appointment with your doctor so he can continue to sign you off. Doctors take it seriously, i have done it before and the doctor signed me off with work related stress.

I dont really know what to say regarding suicide as i have a history of attempting suicide and having suicide ideation, but please just remember people love and care about you. How would you feel about contacting your local crisis team and explaining to them how you feel?

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Book said:

So sorry you are feeling this way and I can totally empathise I feel the same way about work it is making me feel so much worse not helped by the fact it’s night shifts. You need to know you are so loved and so needed. There is no other you in this world you are totally irreplaceable! Please talk to your lovely husband and I know we get sick of explaining over and over. But please seek support! You are unique you are necessary you are loved and much needed Are you allowed to share your Etsy business here I’m not sure probably not

Thank you for your lovely reply and advice. I am so sorry you have suicidal history and please please talk to yourself with the same kindness you have to me I know we do not but please try. You are loved your are needed you make a difference you are unique!

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