My partner and I have been together 7 years. His Mum, dad and brother are absolutely lovely. His sister on the other hand (4 years older than me and him) can be really awful to me. She has three children by three different men, she does not work, she's currently at college studying some early years learning thing in the hope of becoming a primary teacher. I have no children, I work full time and I am studying a degree in my spare time. I've never once judged her for her situation, I am always nice to her, I treat her kids to gifts, sweets etc all the time. I try really hard. For some reason though she constantly feels the need to undermine me, criticise me and just be downright rude. Some examples:
- You've got quite fat thighs for a skinny girl haven't you?
- Don't you think after 7 years you should have kids?
- Do you actually see yourself getting a degree?
- Have you got any friends? I don't think you've really got anyone have you?
- One or two of your cousins have got fat haven't they?
- I don't know why you've got a car on finance, bit silly if you ask me considering you want a mortgage (nobody asked for her opinion and the reason I financed a car is because the clutch went in mine, I work over an hour away and desperately needed one - not that I should have to explain!!)
- I wish you'd change your hair style, I absolutely hate fringes.
- You dress quite plain really, there's nothing about you that stands out.
- My least favourite - "You need to hurry up if you want children or your kid will be the odd one out cos the rest are grown up. It's weird that you've got to your age without having had any yet considering how long you've been together" - to add some context to this one, I'm 25 which I don't consider old to not have kids!!
- You'd think he'd at least want to marry you or have kids after all this time, wonder what's putting him off.
it's really starting to get me down, every time she comes around I literally want to leave. I live in fear of what she's going to say next! How would you tackle this? They're all just really hurtful things I would never dream of saying to anybody! When she says them I always just go quiet and don't answer as she's one of those who can't be argued with.
ETA: I've expressed to my partner numerous times, and at times have cried to him, about how awful she can be. His response is always "you know what she's like, she'll never change, just learn to ignore it, I have".