Days off

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Welshgirl1987

I just need some advice please. I work 3 days a week and have a 4 and a 1 year old. My elderly Dad expects me to take him out 2 days a week . I only get 1 full day off with a babies. I'm constantly exhausted yet my Dad still wants me to take him out all day 2 days a week. What is everyone's opinion please. Do I say no because it's too much or do I just go along with it. Any advice gratefully received
 

dillychopgirl

That’s a shame is there any day centres he could maybe attend to get him out of the house
 
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J3N1800

sorry to hear you're struggling!
Could you bring him to yours and all spend time with the children?
Could you get him out for a few hours in the morning then dedicate the afternoon to yourself and your family?
 
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Welshgirl1987

I don't have siblings.. He wants to stay all day for like 9 hours in my house .I'm only in my 20s am I being unreasonable thinking 2 days a week's is too much .
 
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JulesWake

Who looks after your kids when you're at work. Have you asked other family/friends who know your situation better their advice. Does your dad have anyone else he could get help from, any siblings in his family or partner/wife?

Maybe a centre for seniors where he can go for a day or two? I could offer ideas for him, but it's dependent on his health & activity level. Would you feel comfortable letting him know you want several days to recharge, little kids are a lot, mentally & physically. Hope it works out for you.
x
 
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chickhicks86

Do you mean take him out for the day / a trip out or running errands like shopping, doctor etc? Is he unwell or infirm that he can't manage to go out alone? I think a lot of it depends on your relationship with him too - a lot of people do spend a big amount of time with their parents each week, and that is their normal but others aren't so intertwined in their lives, which is also ok.
 
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Welshgirl1987

He doesn't have any relatives apart from me. He is in shelter accommodation which he doesn't like. I take him all day for 8 hours .
 

JulesWake

imo Your kids well being comes first. If you don't get down time for yourself, you won't be your best for your children's sake. It's important to decompress. Sounds like you need time to slow down, relax & recharge. Let your dad know this, & don't feel bad or guilty about the decision you make. It's more important that your kids have a mum who has had moments to herself to be the best mum for their livelihood. Set boundaries & be firm. HTH
x
 
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Pesky Tarian

Welshgirl1987 said:
I don't have siblings.. He wants to stay all day for like 9 hours in my house .I'm only in my 20s am I being unreasonable thinking 2 days a week's is too much .
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I did this for years, my parents would descend on me and expect to be waited on all day. I'd get stressed, the kids would get stressed and I decided enough was enough and I must do things on my terms.

Be firm and say you will visit him, take a sweet treat spend a couple of hours, go for a drive and a coffee. It's much easier to manage expectations when they're not on your 'turf'.

You'll only get this time once (and tbh I regret the time I spent playing hostess rather than playing with my children). You can visit/support your dad and be a good daughter but ultimately he has to make the best of his situation.
 
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Clickbait

Has he explained why he wants/expects the 2 days a week? If he’s unhappy where he lives have you explored why - is there a neighbour he doesn’t get along with, is it noisy, uncomfortable or is he just lonely? I think you can explain that you’re struggling to meet competing demands on your time and it’s making you stressed. Look at perhaps organising something he can do once a week that he would enjoy and then commit to seeing him once a week. I know it seems a burden to have to arrange an activity for him - yet another thing on top of your current load - but if it gets him socialising with other people it could be an outlet for him to make friends and fill more of his time.
 
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