Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men

[it’s not been changed?!]

Honestly, I can't give you proper advice. I usually make up some lame excuse such as I have something I need to do but because I am not interested in this person, I don't really feel that bad about it, I just feel awkward. I just can't make myself sit through a date if it's honestly not going well.

A guy (friend from uni - this was years ago) took me to Winter Wonderland for a date and it was going so badly (he did not talk, at all, I was so exhausted of his silence and bored of hearing my own voice trying to start up a conversation, he did not want to do anything, just walk around in silence), I excused myself by saying I had to go home to feed my cat... I got on the train home and received a message straight away saying "I'm sorry this date didn't go well.." so he knew I was just doing a runner

Aw this made me laugh and feel sad for him at the same time he sounds like he was hard work

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’ve never been on a date where I’ve wanted to do a runner after 1 drink how do you make your excuses?

I went on a date in August and almost ran out while he was ordering our first drinks at the bar.. It was too open plan so I couldn’t escape.

We talked an insane amount in lockdown No1 and finally met up after four months when restrictions lifted. He picked me up wearing tracksuit bottoms and he had a smashed in eyebrow.. Turns out he was a drug dealer and wayyyyy rougher in person than on text and Snapchat. Shame really cos we got on really well but even two random girls asked me wtf I was doing with him. Never saw him again

 

[justapossum]

How long do your first dates normally last?

I'd say 1-2 hours for the first date.
Although I've had some that lasted longer if we really hit it off and wanted to continue.

Aw this made me laugh and feel sad for him at the same time he sounds like he was hard work

The thing is we had been friends for a long time when we were at uni together so it's not like we were strangers and we were fine messaging loads leading up to the date and then on the day of the date he had nothing to say

 

[LaurieLaurie]

How long do your first dates normally last?

I’d say 3/4 hours if it’s going well. Less than 2 hours if it’s a bit meh or even less if it’s an absolute no.

 

[Woolmercardington]

I’ve never been on a date where I’ve wanted to do a runner after 1 drink how do you make your excuses?

I started to do afternoon coffee dates as it's much easier to make your excuses, like you're going to meet a friend, etc. I went for a drink during the evening with this one bloke and he really was hard work. We just did not gel, totally different senses of humour, etc. After a gruelling 45 mins I just said, "Well, I'd better be off!" Gave no reason whatsoever

He's the one who made me switch to preferring afternoon dates as I was longer hanging around after work waiting to go on the bloody date than I was actually on it!

 

[leapricot]

I would like if breakfast dates were more of a thing. I just love brunch/breakfast so much hahahha. Also once the date is over, it gives you more time to do things with your day or even spend more time with that date if it goes well.
Haven't had the chance to suggest this yet but maybe I will in the future

 

[Inforapenny]

I went on a date once where he talked alot about himself. When he finally asked about me he kinda zoned out so I said 'oh you're not really listening are you?' at least he was honest and said 'no' so I got up and left.
He wasn't hot enough to pull a stunt like that.

Another date, as we walked to the bar told me all about his drug and drink problems but I felt I couldn't back out because I'd be seen as a judgemental witch. Anyway we sit down he starts moaning about his ex and how she cheated on him blah blah blah and how he could never call me by my name because that's the name of his ex
Well he was a delight. I got up and left and he STILL messaged and asked me for another date

 

[D_Wills]

I would like if breakfast dates were more of a thing. I just love brunch/breakfast so much hahahha. Also once the date is over, it gives you more time to do things with your day or even spend more time with that date if it goes well.
Haven't had the chance to suggest this yet but maybe I will in the future

Love this idea! And then you don't have to spend all day getting nervous about it! Just me??

I went on a date once where he talked alot about himself. When he finally asked about me he kinda zoned out so I said 'oh you're not really listening are you?' at least he was honest and said 'no' so I got up and left.
He wasn't hot enough to pull a stunt like that.

Another date, as we walked to the bar told me all about his drug and drink problems but I felt I couldn't back out because I'd be seen as a judgemental witch. Anyway we sit down hestarts moaning about his ex and how she cheated on him blah blah blah and how he could never call me by my name because that's the name of his ex
Well he was a delight. I got up and left and he STILL messaged and asked me for another date

I swear we've all dated the same guy at this point

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I often wonder if anyone has lasted more than half an hour on a first date with my ex, he would go on and on and on about his insanely boring day in precise detail ‘I made a cup of tea’ would turn into a 25 minute long story.

 

[Inforapenny]

I went on several dates with one guy who forgot to tell me he had 2 kids
After a few dates I could tell he was lying to me so I called him out and he said he had kids but it was my fault for not asking and that his mum was sick so he'd got all confused.

He used to send me seedy messages years later asking me if I wanted to go round and sit in his hot tub.
He lived in the Fens which made it funnier because if you don't know the area it's pretty bleak and rural and I didn't fancy my chances of getting out alive.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Ooh. I once waited over a month to tell someone I had a daughter and I was so scared to tell him. It was one of those text and then clean your entire house before you’re brave enough check their reaction moments.

He was fine with it

 

[Inforapenny]

Ooh. I once waited over a month to tell someone I had a daughter and I was so scared to tell him. It was one of those text and then clean your entire house before you’re brave enough check their reaction moments.

He was fine with it

This guy 'forgot' because he wanted a shag and he probably thought having kids would idk make him less attractive
He had an agenda and it wasn't honesty.

 

[justapossum]

So last week I mentioned a guy who started messaging me and talking about his ex and what a „nice guy” he was…
Does he not understand what “I’m not interested” means?!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

So last week I mentioned a guy who started messaging me and talking about his ex and what a „nice guy” he was…
Does he not understand what “I’m not interested” means?!

This is the most irritating thing, I always remove them as soon as I’ve fucked them off to avoid it.

 

[twinkleunicorn]

Bus driver and I have been texting all day (long story of how he got my number) he thought I was 29 (think he’s just being kind) but he’s only 26.

Considering just using him as a sex slave. Thoughts?

I’m on my 40s and have kids in their 20s so it would be icky for me... but go for it!! Also....where are the decent men in their 40’s?

 

[Caramel Latte]

I swear a huge proportion of men seem to have nothing more interesting to talk about than food and travel...like yes, most humans also like these things, *Chandler voice* could you BE any more generic

SO TRUE!! It makes such a boring and non satisfying conversation. Ughhh

 

[ispywithmylittleeye59]

So last week I mentioned a guy who started messaging me and talking about his ex and what a „nice guy” he was…
Does he not understand what “I’m not interested” means?!

Ugh he seems the worst!!! What does he think will happen by doing this, does he think he can guilt trip you into changing your mind?!

Rather than block him I would just leave him on read to annoy him.

 

[justapossum]

Ugh he seems the worst!!! What does he think will happen by doing this, does he think he can guilt trip you into changing your mind?!

Rather than block him I would just leave him on read to annoy him.

I don’t see why he thinks I’d turn around and be like “yes please take me on a date!”
I left his previous messages on read and that didn’t work so I’ve blocked him now

 

[Dogtanian]

I’m on my 40s and have kids in their 20s so it would be icky for me... but go for it!! Also....where are the decent men in their 40’s?

I only just qualify for the 40’s but from everything I’ve read on this thread and the ick one, I’d be terrified of using online dating. Seems a total nightmare (entertaining to read mind you).

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I just went on a second date with same guy from Friday. Not the one I posted about yesterday (such a mess) He is just so thoughtful too. He painted me something he remembered me saying about my spirit animal lol. We have great conversations and can spend hours talking to each other.. but I never know if I’m supposed to FEEL something when you kiss someone for the first time? I haven’t been with anyone properly intimately and see my older posts for what I’ve done before but I don’t feel anything?