Dating for over 50's

[Flowergirl14]

I am 54 and divorced. I have become friends with a lovely guy. I am mad about him, but I think he just sees us just as good friends. I don't know how to progress this. I'm desperate to tell him how I feel, but too scared! He texts me a lot, and has just joined a weekly class that I go to. We spent the whole morning today chatting and laughing. I kept looking at him and thinking how fit he was. We have so much in common. But after my divorce where my ex knocked my self esteem so much, I just feel I would be punching above so much. Any advice gratefully welcome

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I am 54 and divorced. I have become friends with a lovely guy. I am mad about him, but I think he just sees us just as good friends. I don't know how to progress this. I'm desperate to tell him how I feel, but too scared! He texts me a lot, and has just joined a weekly class that I go to. We spent the whole morning today chatting and laughing. I kept looking at him and thinking how fit he was. We have so much in common. But after my divorce where my ex knocked my self esteem so much, I just feel I would be punching above so much. Any advice gratefully welcome

I love this, please just tell him!

Also conscious of generalising but my ime men don’t bother texting back or attending things unless they’re keen. I was in a similar weird state of close friends with my husband for a year before we got together, it’s a lovely way to start a relationship tbh would encourage you to go for it! And please let us know how it goes?!! x

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

I am 54 and divorced. I have become friends with a lovely guy. I am mad about him, but I think he just sees us just as good friends. I don't know how to progress this. I'm desperate to tell him how I feel, but too scared! He texts me a lot, and has just joined a weekly class that I go to. We spent the whole morning today chatting and laughing. I kept looking at him and thinking how fit he was. We have so much in common. But after my divorce where my ex knocked my self esteem so much, I just feel I would be punching above so much. Any advice gratefully welcome

Please,please ease back! You may get to scare him,you have to be so careful after awful relationship ends..take it easy..stay Away until HE contacts you.

 

[whats_her_face]

Please,please ease back! You may get to scare him,you have to be so careful after awful relationship ends..take it easy..stay Away until HE contacts you.

Wtf this is awful advice the poor girl is saying she’s had her confidence knocked and you’re repeating it back to her saying wait for the man to initiate. What if he feels the same but is in the same boat as her?

 

[Raininvain]

He sounds interested to me, just ask him to do something, coffee or a run/walk, lunch whatever something light that you would ask a friend to and take it from there.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Hmm… Men that are interested usually make it very clear. Good luck and keep us updated.

 

[no-no]

What makes you think he sees you as just friends? How long have you known each other?

Maybe go for the middle ground of pouring your heart out/waiting around and ask him out for a drink after your class (or if it’s early suggest going out that evening?). If you don’t drink, suggest an activity that sends a signal. You’ll be able to tell by his reaction if he’s up for anything.

 

[Flowergirl14]

Thank you all. I meet him on a course in Feb 2019. Exchanged occasional texts. Then Covid happened. Met up for a quick coffee in September 2020, the quick coffee that lasted 2 hours! Then bloody lockdown again. He contacted me again in July and has been in constant contact since then. He then invited me to a music festival and I invited him to one with me. I have been to his place once and he has been to mine. We have had some deep conversations. I have to say my awful divorce was 11 years ago, so I am well over it now. I have dropped a few hints to him that I am interested, but he has not taken me up on them. However, he did wink at me when I was saying goodbye at last week's class! There is a small part of me that thinks he is playing me, and enjoys the fact that I like him. Maybe I am being unfair. Also, he is 11 years younger than me, maybe he thinks I am too old! But I don't look it or act it (sorry if that sounds vain, but it is what I have been told). Thank you for taking an interest!

He was delighted when I asked him to the music festival. 10 hours in each other's company, and we got on great. He ticks all the boxes, funny, intelligent, easy to talk to, tall! He bounds over to join me at class each Saturday morning!

 

[Booington]

He sounds interested to me, invite him out for a drink or to a ‘date worthy’ bar, or tell him about a nice restaurant you’re dying to try out

 

[Secretadmirer]

If he’s texting you a lot, inviting you places and accepting your invites to places as well, has really long chats with you which is him getting to know you I’d say he’s interested? If men aren’t interested properly in my experiences generally they’re flaky and/or just show an interest in one thing, they definitely don’t spend time getting to know you or seem as keen as he does with all the invites and stuff. I agree, ask him on a date but don’t say it’s a date just drop into conversation about a nice place somewhere… see what he says! Keep us updated!

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Wtf this is awful advice the poor girl is saying she’s had her confidence knocked and you’re repeating it back to her saying wait for the man to initiate. What if he feels the same but is in the same boat as her?

Well,I’m speaking through experience,when I separated from husband of 19 years,I had lost loads of weight and I was in a awful place mentally,I didn’t mean to sound horrible.

 

[Flowergirl14]

I understand you don't want to be horrible. Thx