Dating after lockdown #33 I would do anything for love, but I wouldn't peg a bloke

[LaBlonde]

title from miss @EddyDarling

(however if you DO want to peg a bloke then go for it, i hope you all have a great time. thread is a non kink shame zone! have a whole clothesline of pegs! now no one say “pegging” again )

a bit of an emotional thread last time ngl. as a small disclaimer, this thread is in advice for a reason. you will sometimes not get the responses that you want. please either say “no tough love” when you post if you’re not into that or consider whether you want feedback at all. this is a wonderful group of ladies who will always advise based on their own feelings and experiences. we should avoid losing that vibe and we shouldn’t have to justify replies given. it’s all with good intentions and protectiveness

anyway, onwards! paging @MsCurly for a recapp!

 

[EndofInfluencers]

I’m catching up still but between this thread and this series pegging has been mentioned so much haha
I feel so naive I only learnt what pegging meant last year when Prince William was trending

I promise I won’t mention it again after this, but Prince William was trending along with peggingYou’re going to have to elaborate as my mind is going places…..

 

[LaBlonde]

I promise I won’t mention it again after this, but Prince William was trending along with peggingYou’re going to have to elaborate as my mind is going places…..

there was a blind item that he really enjoys it

i mean, tbh, i get why both men and women would be into it. enjoy yourself william! and kate! assuming it’s with kate anyway

 

[Ohnoshebettadont]

I promise I won’t mention it again after this, but Prince William was trending along with peggingYou’re going to have to elaborate as my mind is going places…..

He famously has had numerous affairs (British press can’t report on this) and enjoys pegging. It’s very common for powerful men to enjoy getting pegged by women, it’s like a power play.

Also I always thought I was vanilla until I saw the reactions to pegging on this thread I love it, though it is tiring, almost makes me admire men (almost).
---

there was a blind item that he really enjoys it

i mean, tbh, i get why both men and women would be into it. enjoy yourself william! and kate! assuming it’s with kate anyway

Allegedly Kate is ok with his affairs as she will not peg him

 

[LaBlonde]

He famously has had numerous affairs (British press can’t report on this) and enjoys pegging. It’s very common for powerful men to enjoy getting pegged by women, it’s like a power play.

Also I always thought I was vanilla until I saw the reactions to pegging on this thread I love it, though it is tiring, almost makes me admire men (almost).

like i said in the last thread, it seems to get a really reaction and i don’t get why. strange that an act where the man is the submissive gets such a reaction. never done it but i get the appeal of the woman being in complete control of the situation. i’m just far too lazy for it

 

[MsCurly]

Alright, Recap time! I have picked some of the most liked or reacted-to posts of the last thread. I could honestly make this post twenty pages long because we are a hilarious bunch if I do say so myself. Anyway.... Lights out... And away we go!

1. @dinosaursideways commented on a poster’s situation with some very insightful advice: we are all responsible for the choices we make, the way we respond to things. We are not ever responsible for other people treating us terribly, but what we do then, what we do next, is within our control (I'm saying this moreso in the context of dating than abuse...). We are all worthy. We are all born worthy, deserving of love and care, but sadly a lot of things happen throughout life that make it harder to love and value ourselves. But we, before anyone else, are still responsible for loving and valuing and validating ourselves first. I really do understand how painful loneliness is, and how deeply sad despair feels. And I not saying you deserve any iota of how you are feeling. But no one here can tell you you are great enough until you believe it, and no man can either. You have to see all the value in yourself, of which there is SO much, on your own terms.
2. @Rayne who made it clear that this thread is not meant for those who are just here to enjoy our horror stories: I get annoyed with the “I’m not even single, I’m in such a happy relationship with the man of my dreams but I come on the dating threads to gawk at you tragic singles and dating horror stories from the apps because they’re so funny and I’m so happy I’m not on the apps anymore” type comments
   Like ok hun, see you back on here for realz when he suddenly goes to the shops for teabags and never comes home
3. @blueblue who started a dating dictionary that we will update as the threads progress (with some additions from @Lalla and myself) No pen pals = I'll attempt to call the shots but not be organised enough to arrange a date No cats/dogs/kids = I'm terrified you might be a whole person with a life before I rocked up
   Lying in bed photo = I read in mainstream media that this makes you fancy me
   Height listed = I read in mainstream media that this makes you fancy me
   No tories = I think I'm really cool and edgy but have no intention of destroying patriarchy
   Want to know anything, just ask = I have nothing to say and no effort to offer
   Figuring out my dating goals = I have commitment issues (Especially if they are over 40 years old)
   No one comes before my children/any other notion of their child being no.1 in their lives (this is specifically for dads) = I am not an involved parent, but my self-worth comes/stems from my fatherhood
   Looking for a good time/someone to have fun with = one night stand
   No fat girls = I am a couch potato with beer belly but you better look like you could be on the cover of Sports Illustrated
   No women with children because I don't want sloppy seconds = I am a man child and need mummy all to myself
   Alpha male = I'm not, but I've watched some Andrew Tate and think by telling you this, it makes me into one.
   Looking for a Sub to my Dom = anyone who says this on a mainstream site is inevitably exactly the above, but swap AT for torture porn.
   Want someone to cuddle up on the sofa with = I can't be bothered to take you on a date and just want low effort sex, but hope you will think this is cute. In reality there will be no cuddling as I don't own a sofa.
   Property developer = I bought a house at auction which I can't afford to do up and currently sleep in my mum's boxroom/ mate's sofa/ the back of my car
   Run my own Import/export business = I buy tat off Ali Express and resell on FB Marketplace or Ebay, again I'm doing this out of my mum's boxroom
   Occupation: close protection officer = security guard at Asda or Wetherspoons
4. @harveydean who reminded us of the house motto of this thread: Block, delete and move on. and @katyazamo who confirmed the importance of it: It's hard to let go if this is the first time you've done it. I've kept lines of communication open with men for so long because I wanted the validation when they'd pop up. I'd think "aha, I knew it! You were always going to come back!" but it was because they were bored and wanted sex. It wasn't because I was some elusive and irresistible force of nature that always pulled men back in. Tough pill to swallow, but it is that simple.
5. @blueblue who reminded us of the importance of remembering where we all came from: This is directed at ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IN PARTICULAR but let's all be mindful of contraception and honour the women before us who fought so we, today, could walk into Tesco and buy condoms, or go to a GP for the pill or coil, free in Scotland (as are condoms).Let's thank the women in history who needed a letter from their husband if they wanted the pill, but kept fighting.
   And let's consider that today, in some parts of the world it's not that easy for our sisters.
6. Our thread's favourite blonde bombshell @LaBlonde who shared the struggle we all experience with dating: "I wish "people" didn't see a romantic relationship as the greatest thing a person can possibly achieve, or something that's normal and easy for everyone. This sentiment was echoed by a lot of posters, so for those of you feeling like a failure because you're not in a romantic relationship, please know that you are not alone and that there is so much more to life than a partner or relationship. You do not need a partner to live your best life or to be the best version of yourself.
7. @Rayne who shared this absolute delight of man who was pretty miffed about a girl getting two puddings off of him:
   
8. @D2them who gave the following stellar advice: Anyone called Barry is not the one.
9. I didn't have a very successful date earlier this august: Today’s victim was a finance bro I met through Hinge. When I asked him what he’s looking for in a woman, he could only come up with: ‘I want a girl who will pack my lunch for me’. And that was it. That was all the input he could give me in regards to dating and what he wants out of a relationship. So I took my iced latte with me and skedaddled out of there, because I cannot deal with someone that vapid, superficial or just plain simple. At this point in life I expect more, and I’m not going to offer up my free lunch hour for boys with mommy issues, who need a caretaker instead of a partner.
10. @unidentified who got messages from an ex-boyfriend and replied in the way we all should when we are hit up by annoying exes: bog off pencil dick.
11. @Clementine who shared these absolute gems:
    
    

 

[LaBlonde]

Alright, Recap time! I have picked some of the most liked or reacted-to posts of the last thread. I could honestly make this post twenty pages long because we are a hilarious bunch if I do say so myself. Anyway.... Lights out... And away we go!

1. @dinosaursideways commented on a poster’s situation with some very insightful advice: we are all responsible for the choices we make, the way we respond to things. We are not ever responsible for other people treating us terribly, but what we do then, what we do next, is within our control (I'm saying this moreso in the context of dating than abuse...). We are all worthy. We are all born worthy, deserving of love and care, but sadly a lot of things happen throughout life that make it harder to love and value ourselves. But we, before anyone else, are still responsible for loving and valuing and validating ourselves first. I really do understand how painful loneliness is, and how deeply sad despair feels. And I not saying you deserve any iota of how you are feeling. But no one here can tell you you are great enough until you believe it, and no man can either. You have to see all the value in yourself, of which there is SO much, on your own terms.
2. @Rayne who made it clear that this thread is not meant for those who are just here to enjoy our horror stories: I get annoyed with the “I’m not even single, I’m in such a happy relationship with the man of my dreams but I come on the dating threads to gawk at you tragic singles and dating horror stories from the apps because they’re so funny and I’m so happy I’m not on the apps anymore” type comments
   Like ok hun, see you back on here for realz when he suddenly goes to the shops for teabags and never comes home
3. @blueblue who started a dating dictionary that we will update as the threads progress (with some additions from @Lalla and myself) No pen pals = I'll attempt to call the shots but not be organised enough to arrange a dateNo cats/dogs/kids = I'm terrified you might be a whole person with a life before I rocked up
   Lying in bed photo = I read in mainstream media that this makes you fancy me
   Height listed = I read in mainstream media that this makes you fancy me
   No tories = I think I'm really cool and edgy but have no intention of destroying patriarchy
   Want to know anything, just ask = I have nothing to say and no effort to offer
   Figuring out my dating goals = I have commitment issues (Especially if they are over 40 years old)
   No one comes before my children/any other notion of their child being no.1 in their lives (this is specifically for dads) = I am not an involved parent, but my self-worth comes/stems from my fatherhood
   Looking for a good time/someone to have fun with = one night stand
   No fat girls = I am a couch potato with beer belly but you better look like you could be on the cover of Sports Illustrated
   No women with children because I don't want sloppy seconds = I am a man child and need mummy all to myself
   Alpha male = I'm not, but I've watched some Andrew Tate and think by telling you this, it makes me into one.
   Looking for a Sub to my Dom = anyone who says this on a mainstream site is inevitably exactly the above, but swap AT for torture porn.
   Want someone to cuddle up on the sofa with = I can't be bothered to take you on a date and just want low effort sex, but hope you will think this is cute. In reality there will be no cuddling as I don't own a sofa.
   Property developer = I bought a house at auction which I can't afford to do up and currently sleep in my mum's boxroom/ mate's sofa/ the back of my car
   Run my own Import/export business = I buy tat off Ali Express and resell on FB Marketplace or Ebay, again I'm doing this out of my mum's boxroom
   Occupation: close protection officer = security guard at Asda or Wetherspoons
4. @harveydean who reminded us of the house motto of this thread: Block, delete and move on. and @katyazamo who confirmed the importance of it: It's hard to let go if this is the first time you've done it. I've kept lines of communication open with men for so long because I wanted the validation when they'd pop up. I'd think "aha, I knew it! You were always going to come back!" but it was because they were bored and wanted sex. It wasn't because I was some elusive and irresistible force of nature that always pulled men back in. Tough pill to swallow, but it is that simple.
5. @blueblue who reminded us of the importance of remembering where we all came from: This is directed at ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IN PARTICULAR but let's all be mindful of contraception and honour the women before us who fought so we, today, could walk into Tesco and buy condoms, or go to a GP for the pill or coil, free in Scotland (as are condoms).Let's thank the women in history who needed a letter from their husband if they wanted the pill, but kept fighting.
   And let's consider that today, in some parts of the world it's not that easy for our sisters.
6. Our thread's favourite blonde bombshell @LaBlonde who shared the struggle we all experience with dating: "I wish "people" didn't see a romantic relationship as the greatest thing a person can possibly achieve, or something that's normal and easy for everyone. This sentiment was echoed by a lot of posters, so for those of you feeling like a failure because you're not in a romantic relationship, please know that you are not alone and that there is so much more to life than a partner or relationship. You do not need a partner to live your best life or to be the best version of yourself.
7. @Rayne who shared this absolute delight of man who was pretty miffed about a girl getting two puddings off of him: View attachment 2443228
8. @D2them who gave the following stellar advice: Anyone called Barry is not the one.
9. I didn't have a very successful date earlier this august: Today’s victim was a finance bro I met through Hinge. When I asked him what he’s looking for in a woman, he could only come up with: ‘I want a girl who will pack my lunch for me’. And that was it. That was all the input he could give me in regards to dating and what he wants out of a relationship. So I took my iced latte with me and skedaddled out of there, because I cannot deal with someone that vapid, superficial or just plain simple. At this point in life I expect more, and I’m not going to offer up my free lunch hour for boys with mommy issues, who need a caretaker instead of a partner.
10. @unidentified who got messages from an ex-boyfriend and replied in the way we all should when we are hit up by annoying exes: bog off pencil dick.
11. @Clementine who shared this absolute gem just in time for spooky season: View attachment 2443237

thank you MsC! i always absolutely love these

 

[MsCurly]

thank you MsC! i always absolutely love these

Aww thank you! this one was actually quite difficult because there was a lot of great advice that was given, but I decided not to include a few of those because they were rather personal and pertaining to specific posters. I hope that is okay for everyone.

On a lot of the guru threads we have a wiki, and I would love it if we could build our own wiki here for the dating dictionary and other stuff. It would be a great to have a place where we could drop some general tips in regards to safety and what not. People share so much wisdom on these threads, it's a bit sad to see it disappear in the void when a thread is closed.

 

[unidentified]

Who would have thought pegging would take over our conversations so much

I need some serious help and advice. I love spoken before how I just don’t know how to date. I can’t meet someone after a few messages. I want to know more about them to see if our views on things (even random things) align. This would be easier if men were remotely interesting. I’ve been on off the apps for years now. I used to find it easier to talk to them but recently I don’t even want to match with anyone let alone chat to them. I work predominantly with women and even then I work hours away from where I live so don’t hang out with those people on a casual basis. My best friend is married and is also a bit of a social recluse like me so has no one to set me up with. My other friends live in a different city and have no one either. My hobbies are solitary dog walks and crafts. Where I live it’s old people that craft so I’m not going to meet anyone there. So essentially I am an old person trapped in a 30 something body. I recently started pottery classes hoping that would have some younger people but no luck.

I’m also pretty sure I’m undiagnosed ADHD and ASD. My daughter was diagnosed this year at 16 and were unbelievably similar in how we think and feel. I’m possibly just slightly higher functioning. I think this makes dating even harder for me. Both being a single parent and the neurodivergence's. It definitely gives me a mindset of I don’t want to waste my time on someone I don’t find attractive both physically and mentally. I wouldn’t say I was the most attractive person and I definitely need to lose weight but I know I’m far from ugly. I have a nice face, a good smile and I can give the sex eyes when I want I also know I am a good person so kind, supporting and I care deeply (my emotions can be very intense) so I have a lot to offer someone but I want them to offer something too.

So I guess what I am trying to say is how the heckers do I actually find someone to date?

 

[Dogtanian]

• @Rayne who made it clear that this thread is not meant for those who are just here to enjoy our horror stories: I get annoyed with the “I’m not even single, I’m in such a happy relationship with the man of my dreams but I come on the dating threads to gawk at you tragic singles and dating horror stories from the apps because they’re so funny and I’m so happy I’m not on the apps anymore” type comments
  Like ok hun, see you back on here for realz when he suddenly goes to the shops for teabags and never comes home

On the plus side, I do try to give some sensible advice when I can see it (and not make up lurid tales of being banged senseless by Basil Brush, the entire cast of the Muppets and Thomas the Tank Engine)

 

[BWGossip]

Didn't expect to learn about William's love for pegging today, the more you know... Please no details about Charles's sex life, no kink shaming but my stomach won't be able to handle it

My best friend is married and is also a bit of a social recluse like me so has no one to set me up with. My other friends live in a different city and have no one either. My hobbies are solitary dog walks and crafts.

Can you meet someone through your friend's husband?

Otherwise, I'd say go talk to other dog walkers or people at the park with your dog! There is a dog park and a regular park right next to my building and I met so many people like that. Usually, I just ask if I can pet their dog or just smile at them, say 'I love your dog', and they usually ask if I want to pet them. Most men will keep talking/flirting/ask if I want to grab a coffee or a beer to the pub next door.

Do you go to the gym? I go to a small, kinda fancy one: everyone is super friendly and it's kinda easy to connect.

I also met some people at the library, the museum, and the cinema. Edit: or going to the same café/pub regularly

 

[harveydean]

Who would have thought pegging would take over our conversations so much

I need some serious help and advice. I love spoken before how I just don’t know how to date. I can’t meet someone after a few messages. I want to know more about them to see if our views on things (even random things) align. This would be easier if men were remotely interesting. I’ve been on off the apps for years now. I used to find it easier to talk to them but recently I don’t even want to match with anyone let alone chat to them. I work predominantly with women and even then I work hours away from where I live so don’t hang out with those people on a casual basis. My best friend is married and is also a bit of a social recluse like me so has no one to set me up with. My other friends live in a different city and have no one either. My hobbies are solitary dog walks and crafts. Where I live it’s old people that craft so I’m not going to meet anyone there. So essentially I am an old person trapped in a 30 something body. I recently started pottery classes hoping that would have some younger people but no luck.

I’m also pretty sure I’m undiagnosed ADHD and ASD. My daughter was diagnosed this year at 16 and were unbelievably similar in how we think and feel. I’m possibly just slightly higher functioning. I think this makes dating even harder for me. Both being a single parent and the neurodivergence's. It definitely gives me a mindset of I don’t want to waste my time on someone I don’t find attractive both physically and mentally. I wouldn’t say I was the most attractive person and I definitely need to lose weight but I know I’m far from ugly. I have a nice face, a good smile and I can give the sex eyes when I want I also know I am a good person so kind, supporting and I care deeply (my emotions can be very intense) so I have a lot to offer someone but I want them to offer something too.

So I guess what I am trying to say is how the heckers do I actually find someone to date?

Have you looked on Meetup? There’s loads of singles groups who organise events every week, like pub meets, walks, cinema trips etc.

 

[Clementine]

Thanks for the @LaBlonde on the last thread, just a wee update from me, my ex who I broke my heart over last year got in touch last week to tell me he’d split (again) from the girl he’d been with since me. duck knows why he thought to inform me but there we go. I’m not acting as his therapist this time but I’m sure he’ll be telling me soon they’re giving things another go
Another ex texted me this morning…

I had to block my daughter’s Father the other week for abusing me in his messages and am looking into if I can get a non-molestation order against him…tricky.

….and to top it off, I saw my most recent situation on the news last week so that was a bit triggering. He’s apologised for how things have been but there’s no progress and I don’t think there will be.

Men…

 

[Sunflower16]

Fantastic recap as always @MsCurly
Also surprised to learn about Prince William's likes! We don't get these sort of worthy headlines in Ireland
@LaBlonde I totally agree, I'm far too lazy to try this even if I wanted to!

 

[PunkyMonkey]

Also I always thought I was vanilla until I saw the reactions to pegging on this thread I love it, though it is tiring, almost makes me admire men (almost).
---

It's an intense workout, good for the glutes I hear!

 

[Joanie]

I'm trying to act really cool today and not contact him , (who I saw on Friday night) we spoke on phone yesterday. All went ok and he's getting back to me about meeting up over the weekend. I think it's because I'm not at work so plenty of time to sit and dwell.
In the meantime, the man I'm meeting on Thursday has contacted me today. Anyway the problem with this man , he has the same first name and similar surname as an ex. This ex was abusive to me. To the point he ended up in court with his behaviour towards me.I think this could be an issue. Am I being stupid? Just think the name is bringing back bad memories.

 

[BWGossip]

Am I being stupid?

It's not stupid, it's a normal reaction to trauma. Be kind with yourself

Can you ask him if he has a nickname or a middle name you can use instead? Otherwise, if it's really too much, don't feel obligated to go or keep talking to him. It's an unfortunate coincidence

 

[harveydean]

Thanks for the @LaBlonde on the last thread, just a wee update from me, my ex who I broke my heart over last year got in touch last week to tell me he’d split (again) from the girl he’d been with since me. duck knows why he thought to inform me but there we go. I’m not acting as his therapist this time but I’m sure he’ll be telling me soon they’re giving things another go
Another ex texted me this morning…View attachment 2443346

I had to block my daughter’s Father the other week for abusing me in his messages and am looking into if I can get a non-molestation order against him…tricky.

….and to top it off, I saw my most recent situation on the news last week so that was a bit triggering. He’s apologised for how things have been but there’s no progress and I don’t think there will be.

Men…

You mean the guy with the mental health issues?

So sorry you’ve had all this to deal with

 

[Joanie]

It's not stupid, it's a normal reaction to trauma. Be kind with yourself

Can you ask him if he has a nickname or a middle name you can use instead? Otherwise, if it's really too much, don't feel obligated to go or keep talking to him. It's an unfortunate coincidence

I was thinking this.If we go for a second date then I will tell him.

 

[Clementine]

You mean the guy with the mental health issues?

So sorry you’ve had all this to deal with

I genuinely mean this but which one?