I found this quite relevant today.
Dating after lockdown #24 they're participation trophies at best
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I found this quite relevant today.
Hoping for some reassurance as I think I'm overthinking things. I've only just started dating really and have met a lovely guy on hinge. We've been out 4 times in 2 weeks and he's stayed at my place a couple of times, last time we ended up together for about 24 hours. We can chat for hours and he opened up about some stuff that has happened to him this year that was hard to talk about. We're planning on meeting up again this week.
My issue is I can't stop thinking that he's not interested or that he'll ghost me. I've got no reason to think that at all, he's so sweet to me and we chat every day (although he does take hours to respond to messages). I think this wait between messages is what's making me think he's not bothered.
How do I snap myself out of this feeling that he isn't interested when evidence suggests that he is? It's such early days I don't need or want to rush into things but I can't stop thinking about him
My issue is I can't stop thinking that he's not interested or that he'll ghost me. I've got no reason to think that at all, he's so sweet to me and we chat every day (although he does take hours to respond to messages). I think this wait between messages is what's making me think he's not bothered.
How do I snap myself out of this feeling that he isn't interested when evidence suggests that he is? It's such early days I don't need or want to rush into things but I can't stop thinking about him
Lmao... ladies... I am laying in bed at 5:30 on a monday in SHOCK after the "date". I had to get my sister to call me so I could say I had to leave. I did an oscar worthy performance of guilt and pegged itThank you! I have another date tomorrow. Late afternoon. I'm not sure I fancy him just yet but he really makes the effort when talking, asks questions and is really enthusiastic about seeing me. Bare minimum lol but we all know what it's like in these streets
I need a couple mins before I can talk about it 
(@Clementine I will reply properly soon!
)
You two need to stay away from each other. I would say it's unfair to date if you're going to be comparing someone to your ex. I did add loads of uplifting stuff to this comment but it's disappeared. I'll try again laterSorry I've never posted in here before but I really am stuck as to what to do with my love life right now. I'm not over my ex and he would be with me if I made the decision. But the reason I feel we can't is that we fight all the time. They've often got really bad. We're both hot heads. He can also be incredibly stubborn and sometimes I feel im having to justify why I feel how I do about stuff that doesn't even concern him. He would gladly tell me I was wrong about something that happened before I even met him, for example, even though he wasn't there and it's you know.. actually my life we're talking about lol. He's also pretty jealous. If i want to see friends over him for example I'll often be told im "not prioritising him".
BUT I've tried dating. I've gotten nowhere. What I really want is it all - i want someone that's funny, smart, attractive, good chemistry, makes me feel safe... what I'm wondering is... is this not realistic? Im 31 btw.
Basically as much as I still love my ex and we have fun and im still attracted to him, I know I'd be having to settle for someone that's got issues that could negatively impact me potentially a fair bit. And we've burned all our bridges with our friends and family on both sides so there would be a lot of work to do in reintroducing each other into our lives. Some friends/family will potentially not want to see us together at all. I just want a relationship i can be proud of, where i dont need to feel bad for seeing them or bringing them to family gatherings or to the pub with friends! But am I just letting what other people think cloud my judgement here?
A lot of people say "don't settle". But then sometimes you hear horror stories or that people are truly disillusioned and think that there's no half decent men left never mind the full package.
I need to make a decision because ive been treading water for far too long. I need to either just really try with him again, or rip the band aid and finally try dating without using him as a safety net, and see what else is out there but risk losing him.
This was a bit of a whirlwind post but any advice truly appreciated
I refuse to be that woman anymore. Do the work yourself, like women are expected
*Casually bookmarks thread*Lmao... ladies... I am laying in bed at 5:30 on a monday in SHOCK after the "date". I had to get my sister to call me so I could say I had to leave. I did an oscar worthy performance of guilt and pegged it
(@Clementine I will reply properly soon!
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Put your phone down and relax. He’s probably working? These thoughts can end up sabotaging it.Hoping for some reassurance as I think I'm overthinking things. I've only just started dating really and have met a lovely guy on hinge. We've been out 4 times in 2 weeks and he's stayed at my place a couple of times, last time we ended up together for about 24 hours. We can chat for hours and he opened up about some stuff that has happened to him this year that was hard to talk about. We're planning on meeting up again this week.
My issue is I can't stop thinking that he's not interested or that he'll ghost me. I've got no reason to think that at all, he's so sweet to me and we chat every day (although he does take hours to respond to messages). I think this wait between messages is what's making me think he's not bothered.
How do I snap myself out of this feeling that he isn't interested when evidence suggests that he is? It's such early days I don't need or want to rush into things but I can't stop thinking about him
Ohhhh, I just remembered the girl who went on date with a German guy and it was horrifying, and I’m rubbish with names…@AgentCooper? Where did she go? I miss her contributions.
it was @Agent Cooper! she hasn’t posted for a little while: she was always lovely here and a really talented writer! hope she’s okay
Think this is relatable to a few of us
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It’s been SEVERAL minutes. I need this story immediately plz. Kind regards.Lmao... ladies... I am laying in bed at 5:30 on a monday in SHOCK after the "date". I had to get my sister to call me so I could say I had to leave. I did an oscar worthy performance of guilt and pegged it
(@Clementine I will reply properly soon!
Thanks that was a lovely to read piece of advice and has made me feel a fair bit better. You're totally right as well I'm so stressed about the future I've not even considered just trying to have fun
Thanks
Thanks for the advice everyone who replied. and Ive forgotten who said it but wowwee 'We were exhausted by life because we spent so much emotional energy trying to match up the fact we loved each other with the fact that we were not meant to be" really bleeping hit home tonight!
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Ladies, there is a really cute builder working on my neighbors house whilst they are on holiday, and I think we had a moment this morning.
My driveway is connected to my neighbour's (we share the same exit to the street) and he'd been laying down cables and digging since 6 AM. He had dug quite a deep gutter, so when I tried to jump over the gap he told me to stop because he couldn't treat a lady that way (whilst pointing at my shoes in the dirt). He laid down a plank, but it was a bit wobbly so he grabbed me and lifted me up to put me down on the other side of the gutter.
In true awkward introvert fashion I got beet red and mumbled thank you. He then asked if he'd see me later today, because he'd be happy to help me get back to my property. He winked when he said that last part!
I genuinely feel giddy like a school girl over the whole interaction, but what do I do now?? Do I leave work early to offer him a cup of tea around three today? I know he works till five because he's been working there for a few days now.
My driveway is connected to my neighbour's (we share the same exit to the street) and he'd been laying down cables and digging since 6 AM. He had dug quite a deep gutter, so when I tried to jump over the gap he told me to stop because he couldn't treat a lady that way (whilst pointing at my shoes in the dirt). He laid down a plank, but it was a bit wobbly so he grabbed me and lifted me up to put me down on the other side of the gutter.
In true awkward introvert fashion I got beet red and mumbled thank you. He then asked if he'd see me later today, because he'd be happy to help me get back to my property. He winked when he said that last part!I genuinely feel giddy like a school girl over the whole interaction, but what do I do now?? Do I leave work early to offer him a cup of tea around three today? I know he works till five because he's been working there for a few days now.
That was me @Maria1212 - it’s so easy to fall into the sink cost fallacy, but you’ve already spent the time. It’s honestly totally freeing when you get it back
@MsCurly if that’s not a meet cute
@MsCurly if that’s not a meet cute
I wouldn’t rush home for a cheeky builder in all honesty.Ladies, there is a really cute builder working on my neighbors house whilst they are on holiday, and I think we had a moment this morning.
My driveway is connected to my neighbour's (we share the same exit to the street) and he'd been laying down cables and digging since 6 AM. He had dug quite a deep gutter, so when I tried to jump over the gap he told me to stop because he couldn't treat a lady that way (whilst pointing at my shoes in the dirt). He laid down a plank, but it was a bit wobbly so he grabbed me and lifted me up to put me down on the other side of the gutter.
I genuinely feel giddy like a school girl over the whole interaction, but what do I do now?? Do I leave work early to offer him a cup of tea around three today? I know he works till five because he's been working there for a few days now.
Plus the digging at 6am would have really annoyed me
I agree, he probably does this at each house he works on/near. Not a judgment on you at all but on him - it's probably just some entertainment for him whilst he's working. It's cheeky and fun but I think that's probably all it is. I could be wrong, and I hope I am!
(I wouldn't be thinking deeply about it to the point of considering leaving work early either)
I'd leave work early to hear about that date of yoursI agree, he probably does this at each house he works on/near. Not a judgment on you at all but on him - it's probably just some entertainment for him whilst he's working. It's cheeky and fun but I think that's probably all it is. I could be wrong, and I hope I am!
(I wouldn't be thinking deeply about it to the point of considering leaving work early either)
Do it! I personally don’t need any excuse to leave work earlyLadies, there is a really cute builder working on my neighbors house whilst they are on holiday, and I think we had a moment this morning.
My driveway is connected to my neighbour's (we share the same exit to the street) and he'd been laying down cables and digging since 6 AM. He had dug quite a deep gutter, so when I tried to jump over the gap he told me to stop because he couldn't treat a lady that way (whilst pointing at my shoes in the dirt). He laid down a plank, but it was a bit wobbly so he grabbed me and lifted me up to put me down on the other side of the gutter.
I genuinely feel giddy like a school girl over the whole interaction, but what do I do now?? Do I leave work early to offer him a cup of tea around three today? I know he works till five because he's been working there for a few days now.
No harm in offering him a tea and a bit more lighthearted flirtation!
Nope, nope and thrice Nope. 
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Grown men using the words cheeky and naughty are just wrong.
I cannot stand when they think they've earned the the right to use pet names and use them early on. erm who tf are you?? especially on dating apps, my name is ON my profile Joe.Nope, nope and thrice Nope.
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