Controlled friend.

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How can I tell If my friend is being controlled by her husband? I have some concerns but no hard evidence and I just want some advice if anyone has been through something similar?
 
How can I tell If my friend is being controlled by her husband? I have some concerns but no hard evidence and I just want some advice if anyone has been through something similar?
What are your concerns?! This isn’t sluggy Sarah and cretinous Chris no?! ?
 
What are your concerns?! This isn’t sluggy Sarah and cretinous Chris no?! ?
It's probably nothing but my friend comes round to see me weekly with her kids. If her husband is off work though we won't see her at all and she will hardly text when he's at home. We didn't see her for a month recently because he had the month of work.
Her husband is just odd too, he flits from job to job. He spends most evenings down the pub and it's the only thing he can think to take there sons too.
There is other little bits too but I've got a banging headache and can't think ?
 
It's probably nothing but my friend comes round to see me weekly with her kids. If her husband is off work though we won't see her at all and she will hardly text when he's at home. We didn't see her for a month recently because he had the month of work.
Her husband is just odd too, he flits from job to job. He spends most evenings down the pub and it's the only thing he can think to take there sons too.
There is other little bits too but I've got a banging headache and can't think ?
Maybe they just enjoy being together as a family? But obviously follow your gut and check up on her when you can. In many cases with domestic violence there is very little an outsider can do in many cases without hard evidence.
 
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It's probably nothing but my friend comes round to see me weekly with her kids. If her husband is off work though we won't see her at all and she will hardly text when he's at home. We didn't see her for a month recently because he had the month of work.
Her husband is just odd too, he flits from job to job. He spends most evenings down the pub and it's the only thing he can think to take there sons too.
There is other little bits too but I've got a banging headache and can't think ?
I would say maybe bring it up in a way which isn't like 'I think your husband is controlling' but maybe just mention how you don't see her if he's off? Like 'oh I haven't seen you or spoke much in a while, have you been busy?' or something - so you're not outright saying. It might be awkward if you say it without evidence otherwise and you might lose the friendship.

Maybe it'd be worth seeing if other people close to her have suspicions (or at least think its weird she doesn't text much/isn't available sometimes when he's home?) if you know they're not going to blab or gossip?
 
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I would say maybe bring it up in a way which isn't like 'I think your husband is controlling' but maybe just mention how you don't see her if he's off? Like 'oh I haven't seen you or spoke much in a while, have you been busy?' or something - so you're not outright saying. It might be awkward if you say it without evidence otherwise and you might lose the friendship.

Maybe it'd be worth seeing if other people close to her have suspicions (or at least think its weird she doesn't text much/isn't available sometimes when he's home?) if you know they're not going to blab or gossip?
Whenever I know he's off and I ask her what she's done she's very vacant. She's openly admitted to me her family don't like him. It seems to have caused a rift between her and her brother. They were close with kids similar ages but although they do still talk you can tell there is tension.
I also know he isn't family orientated. It's a struggle to get him to the kids birthday parties ect.

I personally don't know any of her family so I can't speak to them.

I realise there isn't alot I can do, I'm just a born worrier ?.
 
Whenever I know he's off and I ask her what she's done she's very vacant. She's openly admitted to me her family don't like him. It seems to have caused a rift between her and her brother. They were close with kids similar ages but although they do still talk you can tell there is tension.
I also know he isn't family orientated. It's a struggle to get him to the kids birthday parties ect.

I personally don't know any of her family so I can't speak to them.

I realise there isn't alot I can do, I'm just a born worrier ?.
Ah that definitely doesn't sound great then if her family doesn't like him and its causing issues! Is there any way you could maybe try to add them on Facebook or something and see if you could talk on there? Or maybe know of someone who does know her family and could speak to them about it?

I totally get that - its better to worry than not at all, at least it shows you care and are a good friend!
 
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Ah that definitely doesn't sound great then if her family doesn't like him and its causing issues! Is there any way you could maybe try to add them on Facebook or something and see if you could talk on there? Or maybe know of someone who does know her family and could speak to them about it?

I totally get that - its better to worry than not at all, at least it shows you care and are a good friend!
No I've no way of speaking to any of them sadly. I'm just gonna keep and eye on the situation I think.
I just worry about her and the children.
 
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