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He only has 4 teeny tiny rooms in his polly pocket flat and yet it is stuffed to the brim with clutter , he never moves anything to clean but the thing that gets me the most is how can he do housework with a bloody bathrobe on it must stick if stale sweat between that and litter tray in kitchen 
Whenever he goes to home bargains and picks up even more tat I'm genuinely surprised he has any space left to cram it in. Like that random candle stick thing he got the other day that's just sitting next to the radiator cover - what's the point?! It's endless. Also did anyone else spot that the radiator cover was like propped up on some bits of wood? I'm guessing it wasn't fitted properly in the first place 
He just wants what everyone else on Insta has in their bespoke grey showhomes. Thing is tho, these other houses are usually 4+ bedroom family homes with 2 receptions, conservatory etc. He can't do it, he's basically punching 'in all areas of his life now' too!
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Been lurking since the beginning, you all brighten up my day on this thread
I remember not minding him as much at the beginning! definitely has changed how he acts, speaks....I still think he is a spoof show and it’s all going to come out in due course
Totally spotted this!Whenever he goes to home bargains and picks up even more tat I'm genuinely surprised he has any space left to cram it in. Like that random candle stick thing he got the other day that's just sitting next to the radiator cover - what's the point?! It's endless. Also did anyone else spot that the radiator cover was like propped up on some bits of wood? I'm guessing it wasn't fitted properly in the first place
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Same with the rug, he gave it a frame justWhy doesn’t he move the tit off his kitchen sides and clean the whole of the top! Not around it. duck sake! And wasn’t it said he didn’t do any cleaning!
Yes, perfectly held up by two blocks of polystyrene. duck's sake MarionTotally spotted this!
He will have measured for the cover the same way he measured for the doll mirror. 10 inches Marion? Really?
Why would he clutter the floor up? The more tit you put on new carpet the more indentations you have when you change things around! That living room looked so much better with the corner sofas.
You can tell he's still absolutely buzzing oot his tits with the Daily Bugle piece but he'll be back to his pissy best when he's getting up to go to work this week and wee Dezza's chillin on his week off.
Melvin spent his own week off in turmoil getting the decoring prep done and will plague Dezza for having it easy by comparison.
Melvin spent his own week off in turmoil getting the decoring prep done and will plague Dezza for having it easy by comparison.
His flat is just like him. Scrape the surface ever so slightly and it’s all tit! Also what is that chair about? A cushion, a throw and that knotted thing?!
‘Turmoil’ I’m tucking dying here!!!!! This thread is hands down, outright the funniest thing in my life. Aye, well apart from Marion, so aye and so forth.
Stresses me out that he has so much tit on every surface in every room who needs that much tit and tat it’s ridiculous
Was anyone else utterly heartbroken when the rat infestation ended? I swear to god I was gutted - I wanted it to go on forever. Don’t think anything could ever make me laugh like that again 
Oh hi my bespoke batches 
What’s even stranger is they both took their socks off and is that a pair of undies under the first pair! Detty Randy bastardsYES!!!!! I’m dying
What the duck are these socks all about?! All those romantic 80’s rock ballads making the gin fuelled hobbits frisky....?
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Puir wee Rayyyyyynnnnn. She must need to zoflora her eyeballs and memory.
Beautiful cake stand sitting on the radiator that he’s got bespokedTotally spotted this!
God forbid he lights that candle and oooooooooooor “Rayne” knocks it over - between the zoflora, fabrize and free toilet clearer, it’ll be an explosion on Chernobyl proportions!I love derek, I think he might be a stoner, nipping doon the stair for a spliff while marions sourcing collabs and so forth. Explains how he copes with the singin.
And also...The haircut? Who does it for him. I’m a Hairdresser and a Barber and I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. I might offer to collab. He loves to help small businesses and has the platform to change my life.
And also...The haircut? Who does it for him. I’m a Hairdresser and a Barber and I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. I might offer to collab. He loves to help small businesses and has the platform to change my life.
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