Cleaning with Mario #56 Perfume inflictions and a spending addiction, his anxiety is a work of fiction

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The Paisley coach trip must also include an evening drop off at Marions so we can all have a shot of the Dyson hairdryer and get all dolled up with the out of date make up. Then back on the McGills bus to head out for some lethal drinks 🍹🍹
I don’t think we’d aw fit in the shoebox at once hen, queue outside the door and we’ll call ye in through the ring doorbell when someone’s finished getting ready💎 (or maybe sit in the junkies gaff doonstairs)
 
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Marion would be funny on Gogglebox. He’d try and come across so intelligent and just sound like even more of a thick cunt.
He can’t youse filters either so we’d get all angles of Concorde nose and his cooncil haircut 😆

We’d be flying through these threads quicker than the IBS oota Marion’s arse 💩 if he was on Gogglebox.

Deek would be the eye candy 😍 #FREEDEREK #DEREKISADARLING

Down side is imagine the utter crap he would buy with the monthly pay from Gogglebox and how insufferable he would be thinking he’s made it.
It’s scary to think what he would buy, on a serious note - a man, fae his own words - has no ambition or to achieve anything but is happy with the way things are going, blows my mind!! Why doesn’t he set a goal like he wanting to learn to drive instead of spunking it up the wall ?

(sorry am rambling lads, am hame fae the pub and a canny sleep, but read oan here and been pishing maself (no literally))
 
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It’s scary to think what he would buy, on a serious note - a man, fae his own words - has no ambition or to achieve anything but is happy with the way things are going, blows my mind!! Why doesn’t he set a goal like he wanting to learn to drive instead of spunking it up the wall ?

(sorry am rambling lads, am hame fae the pub and a canny sleep, but read oan here and been pishing maself (no literally))
Back in yer aine laine hen! He cannae drive cause he’s no well way his Kerry Katona eyes condition. So aye.

Although, there is nothing stopping Deek learning how tae drive. They could get a little G reg Ford Escort tae cut aboot in. Imagine the shit Mario could bring home in the boot of a car, nae having to rely oan his stranglers fingers tae carry shit oan the bus.

That car would have led strip lights awe through it off ah that small business, Amazon. He’d pimp Deek’s ride. So aye. He’s already goat the magic tree freshener, in the scent “bespoke car”.
 
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I don’t know if I’m late to the party… but honestly what a sad man to be nearly 40 years old having no achievements in his life and no goals for himself… and to be absolutely happy with that 😳 I honestly don’t understand how people end up being like that, you get one shot at life and what a waste… 🙄 am I being completely unreasonable that this infuriates me so much?! 😂
 
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Morning ma luvlies,

the wee ford escort idea has me clutching ma beak

what treats have we got in store the weekend. Some soup stew? Will the velvetiser arrive? What will he spunk his money on this weekend? Oh the excitement
 
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I don’t know if I’m late to the party… but honestly what a sad man to be nearly 40 years old having no achievements in his life and no goals for himself… and to be absolutely happy with that 😳 I honestly don’t understand how people end up being like that, you get one shot at life and what a waste… 🙄 am I being completely unreasonable that this infuriates me so much?! 😂
It is annoying to see him making obvious life mistakes, but then he does or says something stupid/funny and I just laugh.
 
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Oh ma lovelies, clutchin ma mother of the bride coat this morning catching up of the bespoke thread. Is the coach swinging past the southside (wealthy part, smell it so aye) on its way to the bumming fort tour? Just havin ma 5 grapes and yugurt with added jizz then I’ll be ready. So aye. There better be some Tong Braxston playin on the coach trip. Tattie hearts
 
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A day off insta for our Marion. A day out consisting of a beige italian set menu and home bargains
 
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Hello ma lovelies, hope your aw well, the weekend is here. Obviously I’ve been up since 6am gutting this place. Derek and I are going oot for the day, take in the fresh paisley air. First stop is Wetherspoons for a delicious ibs inducing breakfast, if you know you know but if you don’t then get to know. We will then traipse around the shops supporting small businesses such as home bargs, tikay max and maybe even b&ms. Spending money I don’t have on shite I don’t need which I’ll brag about later as I’m always trying to keep up with the huns on this app, the app that’s no my job but don’t you forget I built this account from the ground up, me a key front line worker. Quiet night in for us maybe get a takeaway but no from that pizza place (insert fake laugh here) because they don’t know who I am and made me wait over 1 hour for a delivery on a Saturday night. So aye have a lovely day, shine bright, tons o love!

Tong Braxston!! Every time I read it I laugh out loud! 😂😂😂
If TONG BRAXSTON doesn’t make the next thread title I’ll be flouncing off in a comma. I’m still in recovery from that q&a honestly you could not make it up.
 
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Lovelies I am wearing dior homme today. I will keep you all updated about the projection on it. I am off to help a very small business today called IKEA. I will no doubt be stopped by some lovelies asking about my scent
 
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Afternoon ma lovelies, hope your all well. I’m sat here smelling my wealth feeling boujeee with my Dior scent.

Wondered if one of yous could explain why he is happy his house (nae debates on that it’s a house not a flat) isn’t being demolished? Has this been planned for a wee while? I’m new here so swerving right outta ma laine to ask the questions. So I can get to know ;)
 
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Afternoon ma lovelies, hope your all well. I’m sat here smelling my wealth feeling boujeee with my Dior scent.

Wondered if one of yous could explain why he is happy his house (nae debates on that it’s a house not a flat) isn’t being demolished? Has this been planned for a wee while? I’m new here so swerving right outta ma laine to ask the questions. So I can get to know ;)
She isn’t happy, she is secretly furious, but he won’t give us the pleasure of showing that 😂

All he wants from life is a council place with a front door AND a back door. Aim high Mario hen!

He has said many times he’d like to move, but now he has changed his mind. Supposedly.
 
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She isn’t happy, she is secretly furious, but he won’t give us the pleasure of showing that 😂

All he wants from life is a council place with a front door AND a back door. Aim high Mario hen!

He has said many times he’d like to move, but now he has changed his mind. Supposedly.

Ayyeee I see. So he was secretly wishing for it to be demolished to get a new place big enough for Rayne to have a cat tree. As I’m guessing the council woulda had to rehome them?

Bet he’s fuuummin that his content will
be back to the same cycle. Imagine if he did have to move for it to be demolished, we’d have 1000 dots everyday 😂
 
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