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esstee

Active member
His reel... "Just sit back and appreciate"... Appreciate what you creep? Thinks hes on par with the Rockefeller tree or something. Its a wee, artificial tree, decorated in the theme basic bitch and the scent skint resentment. Away and gtf!
 
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Cady1954

VIP Member
Dear Santa....... Love Mario

Santa was working in Lapland one day
When his Mrs said 'Oi the posts on the way'
Santa thought 'Shit it'll be lots more shite
From that crabbit wee bawbag Mazda McKnight'
He opened the letter and rolled his eyes back
He huffed and he puffed and sat down on his sack
'Hi, Santa it's me (mirror wave) Mazda McKnight!
I hope your aw cosy on this chilly night?
I know you are busy so let me explain
Me and my Derek would like our own wean
Now I know you cant hand me a kid on a plate
But a womb, and some ovaries and a chuff would be great!
It might take a while to sort what goes where
But Deek will be stoned oot his head and won't care.
Santa was shocked, shook to the core
He'd never had a request like this one before
He pondered and pondered about his reply
Then thought 'This is something I need to deny
The thought of that eejit having a child
Is preposterous, outrageous, and totally wild.
So Santa sat down to write him a note
He couldn't get over the daft little scrote
He chose his words carefully so not to offend
'Hey Mazda ya nutter, ya utter bellend
You cannot look after that poor mog
So how could you be trusted to look after a sprog?
Just accept you're a bloke(?)a womb doesn't exist
So a wean is definitely off your Christmas list!!
 
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TooFarScone

VIP Member
Hello ma lovelies. I took a trip down candy cane memory lane and watched some highlights. Remember the decorating journee when he reminded us all what a nasty piece of work he is...

 
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GiftedNotFree

VIP Member
“Plans” as per Mario’s hectic schedule:

- wake up after sleeping for 3.5 hours because your bedroom reeks like a perfume house and you’ve got a Christmas tree 2cm from your face with the lights set to “eccies rave” mode
- scream at Derek, kick Rayn, film yourself walking from the bedroom to the bathroom while waving at yourself in the mirra
- IBS explosion in the tiny toilet thanks to yesterday’s abysmal food choices
- change bedsheets for the 45th time this month (IBS explosion most likely to blame)
- start “deep cleaning” eg hoover around everything and use the pube handheld hoover to clean the kitchen 🤢
- complain on stories about how you’re tired / it’s cold / windy / rainy / dark (delete as required) and how you’ve gutted the hoos and are gonna have a chill and cosy day
- after a few hours of being cooped up, you need “fresh air” aka a trip to Paisley town centre for B&M, Home Bargains, The Range, Poundland, etc to spend £100+ on tat
- swing by the closest takeaway on the way hame for more IBS explosion fun 🙄

Aye….. some laugh. My 8 year old nephew has more “plans” than Mario!
 
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Duchesspink

VIP Member
Poor Derek. Bet he wishes Marion would fuck off. Nasty wee parasite.

I'm perplexed watching him hoard tat from home bargains for next Christmas. Its not even December 2021 yet and he's stashing stuff for December 2022. The thrill of his Christmas stuff has long worn off.
How sad must him and Derek be getting out their Christmas eve boxes and knowing exactly what's in them because they put them together. Where is the surprise? Putting their new pjs on and sitting in that bedsit all night before ringing their elf bells and going to bed. Do they really think santa is coming?
Its so sad that its actually like a scene from Mr Bean at Christmas. You know where he puts the stuff in his own stocking and wakes up and unwraps it all and pretends he's surprised!
 
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Babybail93

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After being reminded just how teeny tiny they both are today, I’m not 100% sure the tat cave isn’t in fact a Polly Pocket playhouse. Nae debates!
1E96E85D-8F24-4A6A-86DE-61B4F7C8EDEE.jpeg
 
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Poptart

VIP Member
So on the 18th of November he has ran out of Christmas content so he has resorted to buying decorations for next year and will show us at the weekend.
 
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LoopyHoopy71

VIP Member
Think the army used Deek as ammunition and fired him out a canon did they not! 💣

Got some scary stats for you ma lovelies 🙈
Last year: 17th Nov - 28th Dec
7 tree related grid posts with nae additional tat posts

This year: 1st Nov - 23rd Nov

30 Christmas related grid posts to date, 21 tree related with the tree going up on the 7th.

Brace yourselves we're in for a very rough ride until January 🤦‍♀️
 
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