Christmas makes me feel so sad even though it shouldn't

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Sandydan

This may sound weird or other people may relate.
I have a lovely life with my husband and kids - but for some reason Christmas always makes me feel so so sad! Both my parents are alive and well so it not because I am missing anyone.
I love the build up and traditions but on Christmas eve and Christmas day I always just feel so sad and emotional!!! Like I can't wait for the day and pressure to be over
Anyone else relate?!
 
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Jellybeansoup

Kind of, I get very quiet and introverted in the run up and really have to push myself to be social on the big day. I love the run up, but then I wish I could sleep through and skip the day itself and go straight to Boxing Day from Christmas Eve. I can’t explain it either! Could it be that the run up is such an exhausting draining time and by the day it’s the pinnacle of emotion?
Either way I hope you had a good day regardless of feeling sad xxx
 
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under the ivy

I have MH conditions & find Christmas / New Year emotionally draining. I don’t know what triggers it exactly, but I start thinking about the past/future etc. It’s a funny time of year especially this year. Just be kind to yourself x
 
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Interestingbitsnbats

Yes definitely I've already packed the gifts all away and itching to take down everything that is christmas
 
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flamingo29

Yes, I absolutely love christmas, I love the build up, I love buying presents, wrapping presents, cooking food etc but the closer it gets to christmas I start feeling quite sad and emotional
I’ve had a lovely day, got nice presents and had a nice dinner with the inlaws but now I feel very sad and a bit down..
I think it is because there is so much build up to what is essentially just 24 hours (that is over in the blink of an eye) that makes me feel this way.

I’ll be ok in a couple of days when the decs are down and I will start to focus on a fresh new year, then I’ll start dreaming of summer days, lighter nights and christmas will be a thing of the past until next year
 
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Flossy2019

Yes. I had a little cry this afternoon. Told my partner I’m not participating in Christmas next year. It was so stressful today. I’ve got a 19 month old. And he normally loves a roast dinner but he just wouldn’t eat it. His cousin was distracting him I think. But my MIL gave him a waffle and as I nipped to the loo he stuffed a load in and was gagging. No one noticed. I had a right go at my fella as he was just sat drinking wine. It’s all stress for one day!! I’ve spent loads of money on gifts for everyone and just feel really under whelmed today. I know I sound ungrateful but don’t know what’s wrong with me. Currently in bed now thankful it’s over for another year!!!
 
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Tyla73

I am ambivalent about Christmas, I don’t hate it but I don’t love it either. I find the run up stressful (I’m not one for work parties etc.) but usually quite enjoy it once it’s here. It’s a big deal in my husband’s family and we usually spend it with them, but not this year because of Covid restrictions. I have missed our usual way of celebrating so next year I think I’ll appreciate it more.

In a normal year, I usually love January because after a month of madness there is no pressure/expectation to socialise and Christmas a whole year away .
 
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Sandydan

Thank you - it's comforting to know I'm not the only one.

I think it's because I'm not aware what it triggering my feelings which is why I'm confused.
 
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birdiefly246

I always get sad but I think it's cause I'm not close to my family at all and I always get presents that make me feel shitty. I know I shouldn't be ungrateful but it can be really disheartening when your 'family' don't even know you at all to buy you a gift that you like or will use.

I also think working in retail never helped for me. I'd work in a really high stress environment for weeks with Christmas Day being my only day off and then being straight back in on Boxing Day. I was normally just really drained from it all. It's hard as well when you see other people with families that all really love and care for each other and you're reminded that you're lonely
 
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Raininvain

I've never liked it, I just think its boring and overrated and cold in a way as well. If your not doing that well it can really tip you over the edge I think. It just amplifies things.
I didn't want the dinner but as my Mum is knocking on (88), I made it for her really, the vegan version and then there was so much stuff I ended up having it anyway. Next year I'm not, I'm putting my foot down. I'd rather have a sandwich and crisps.
Hoping things are a lot better for everyone on this site and elsewhere next year as well.
One thing I saw which was funny was a family having their dinner in a garage in my street, it was absolutely fucking freezing as well.
 
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Saddlesoap

I'm meh about Christmas. I enjoy the build up, but the day is always a bit of a let down tbh.
 
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birdiefly246

I agree. Everything is so heightened. New year is just as bad. I pretty much cry every Christmas and new year cause it makes me sad and lonely.
 
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Fenella

Yes the pressure to have the best most perfect day is too much. We’ve had a crap one today- so many rows, utterly miserable!

i used to be the same on New Years when I used to go out but that’s eased off now we don’t do anything.

I’m also weird about my birthday, I want to be treated special but equally don’t want any attention and it all gets messed up in my head and I end up crying or acting like a complete brat.
 
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under the ivy

We’ve decided to do Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve next year - it’s too much to cook dinner, open presents etc in one day we’ve decided. Can focus on opening presents and spending time with each other then on Christmas Day itself. I think it would help my MH as well, I always stress over making the perfect dinner when it’s just a glorified roast!

Hope everyone here has managed to get through today whatever circumstance you’re in. It’s over for another year now x
 
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birdiefly246

I relate to that so much! I realised this year that for me I want someone to be thoughtful and kind and give me attention and make it special but I don’t want to ask someone to do that. I want them to do it cause they want to
 
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MarthaFarkus

Oh thank god someone feels the same as I do (in the nicest possibly way) Christmas Day has always made me feel depressed, even when I was a kid. I’ve always worried that it might be the last time for one of us and it always brings me down. I never let on to anyone about it and we always have a lovely day but I’m laying in bed now and I feel like crying. I wish my brain didn’t do this because I’m so grateful to still have most of my family and I want to treasure every moment but I just don’t know why it happens, it drives me potty
 
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krispykreme

I'm so glad I found this thread, I have felt so down today it hasn't even felt like Christmas at all, my mum's been very very ill recently and was discharged from hospital the other day and has had no energy to do anything. I feel bad because I know it isn't her fault at all but I can't help but feel really sad that I haven't had a proper Christmas this year. I feel like a miserable old sod because no one in my household has barely spent any time together today apart from the 30 minutes we sat down for our Christmas dinner minus our mum who couldn't get out of bed. I feel like I don't even want to celebrate Christmas next year at all
 
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Autumnleaves123

I don’t like Christmas, it’s terrible to say and I do try and normally enjoy the build up and nights out etc but I lost my mum 5 years ago and since then I’ve always dreaded it. I feel like it massively highlights the hole left in our family and the family time we loved before and how other people all seem to still have it. I know that’s not true and lots of other people feel the same as me. As awful as it I this Christmas has been the least depressing for me since losing my mum as I haven’t felt the same pressure to seem like I love it and be around extended family missing the main presence of my mum. This year having a quiet day with just my dad, brother and boyfriend is all I want and more normal for other families too.
 
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Lollipop2123

My 2 year old didn't touch a single bit of Xmas dinner and ate chocolate all day if that makes you feel any better! We are normally quite healthy but nevermind, it's just one day. I feel underwhelmed too

Yes definitely. I find it all really overwhelming x
 
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LucilleBluth

krispykreme said:
I feel like I don't even want to celebrate Christmas next year at all
Click to expand...
We’ve said the same. My family has been apart this Christmas because of Covid. I’m sorry to hear your mum hasn’t been well; for me it’s my dad that’s ill. He’s been in bed a lot of today. Last year my mum severely broke her leg two days before Christmas, requiring surgery, the year before that we were told on Boxing Day that my dad had cancer, and the year before that I was going through a brutal breakup of a multi year relationship. We’re over it! And next year likely won’t be better, because of my dad. My brother and I are also single and I feel like such a child for not having my own family by my age.

It’s a shame as I adore Christmas usually but it hasn’t been kind to us the last few years. Maybe we’ll revisit it at some point but not next year. Quite relieved it’s over in 14 minutes!
 
Reactions: 4
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