Burnout

[ImDavidBrent]

Sorry to hear others are in this situation. I had major burnout caused by toxic management in work and work load and pressures from work in general. First time in my life I have suffered severe depression and anxiety and I’ve had to go on antidepressants. It got to the Christmas holidays and it got so bad I knew I couldn’t return so I’ve been on long term sick since. Also receiving CBT. Starting to improve now and looking for a new job which is giving me a more positive outlook.

 

[ahkrin]

I'm on a week annual leave and already dreading Monday. I am a big cause of my own burnout because I obsessively check my emails, teams etc in case I miss something and so my brain doesn't switch off from work. My partner doesn't earn enough to pay the mortgage so I feel stuck going to work. I could have 10 weeks off paid but feel if I lose the structure of work I'll either fall apart or not be able to face going back ever again. Plus there always seems to be something else to stay in work for. Currently it's supporting a colleague through a disciplinary.

I'm looking for another job because I'm being blocked from progress where I currently am but either not being offered enough money to switch or being rejected, which is great with RSD (rejection sensitivity).

At the stage where I have constant work dreams and I know that's a danger signal for me having a melt down.

I just want a job where hard work and knowledge translate into success rather than nepotism and arrogance

 

[Traazers]

As discussed on the bex thread. I have suffered from this badly this year, I went from being SO IMPORTANT but its like i just cant

 

[kachoochoo]

ooh, thanks for this traazy! I often think I'm over sharing on f+d so yay for this thread 🫶

I think most people who'll read here know my story. sent home from work Feb 2023 for falling asleep constantly, six months signed off sick with depression/anxiety, incredibly lucky to get help from iapt. wfh since august 2023, but forced back to the office one day a week since feb 24, simply because "the trust no longer supports full time wfh"

I am still utterly exhausted. i am up to date with all my work, it costs me approx £7 when I have to go in cos I uber cos I still can't do public transport. and then, instead of being able to have a cup of tea (or even a nap!!! god forbid!!!) whenever I want, I have to listen to my boring colleagues rattle on about fuck all! (I'm terribly sorry about your 90 something uncle. no shit you have grandchildren now. idc about your dogs. oh, your 20 something kids are fighting, big wow)


I've even learned to take the laptop I was given for wfh into my physical workplace cos my desktop doesn't work half the time! It's madness!!

wtf is so important about being present in a building 3 miles away from where I can do the same work but be a lot more comfortable? (In my jim jams, when I can nap without fear of reprisals?!) I'm not patient-facing, I don't have to be there! I've served my time doing that shit

 

[Shimmering]

Hello

I'm on a burnout recovery journey too.

Pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD which leads me to being extremely overwhelmed all the time, but also to taking on immensely challenging roles etc because I thrive on the stress and the difficulty.

So yeh I don't make life easy for myself but I can't seem to manage any other approach.

Came out of a toxic team in November 2022, where I'd been stuck throughout covid with an awful line manager who attempted to destroy my confidence not through malice but through incompetence. Moved on promotion to a fantastic team but on a very emotionally and intellectually demanding role however I can achieve all things with excellent colleagues which i have, however the toll on me has been immense.

Was definitely burnt out from big massive life changes like moving house in 2022, and the general overwhelm I experience from parenting my two young teens and house work life admin etc.

Add in a lot of other stressors and then family serious illness in December just past and I really reached breaking point in terms of sheer exhaustion.

On holiday now but back at work on Monday and hoping to continue my rest and focus on getting myself recovered. Have started little bits of self care and definitely seeing a difference already while on hols. Took another holiday last month and spent it on pure rest and recovery and it helped immensely.

I overthink a lot and make bad choices with food etc, addicted to stressful work situations. Little things push me over the edge but I do bounce back quickly.

Burnout is scary and I can't afford to let it get any worse.
---
Oh yes and just wanted to say my burnout manifested as just psychologically and physically giving up which is so out of character for me as I push on regardless. But then over the last while if something difficult happened, I'd just mentally think I can't do this, and I'm giving up. Also feeling unmotivated, exhausted, irritable, not wanting to do anything or go anywhere.

 

[Squittel]

Joining my fellow burnouts!

I’m overwhelmed all the time and find concentrating at work really hard. I’m thinking of looking for a new job but the problem is I need 100% remote in order to look after my daughter and pick her up from school. New roles are hard to find.

My current job is great in its flexibility but my team are picking up more and more tasks from our over worked operations team and it’s getting harder and harder to manage. It’s making me depressed and overwhelmed. There’s just too much “noise”.

Edit: I am also an ADHD sufferer.

 

[Shimmering]

Hello everyone!
I've also been suffering again recently to the point of not even being able to post in this bloody thread! My temp job that I was really enjoying is low effort but high stress (lots of cold calling and being generally ignored) and 8 hours of it a day for 4 months in a row was just too much and my body has actually physically been freaking out, I've got severe tendonitis from RSI in my hand and I pulled an intercostar muscle last weekend so it hurts to breath. I had a couple of days off for my ribs last week and then had panic attacks the other two days of the week so couldn't make it to work at all, work have been semingly understanding about it but having to have time off has really annoyed me as it's a temp job (so I don't get paid sick) and they've not given me any commitment about hiring me at the end of my contract after acting as though it was a given to the point I've not lined anything else up and am now panicking.

@Wooh I am going to buy that book for the kindle when less financially tense as it sounds exactly what I need!

I hope everyone is feeling a bit better x
---

I've been feeling EXACTLY like that! Like I'm somehow simultaneously under and overwhelmed by everything; the mundane seems really stressful but I'm also feeling so crap I don't wanna do anything else that would distract me from the day to day stuff feeling hard. I think we both need a holiday. I don't have parenting or an ill parent to deal with either so I really really feel for you. Be kind to yourself x

Thank you so much! I'm on the sofa right now. Was reasonably productive today in terms of getting work tasks done but I feel strongly that I'm massively underperforming and letting other people pick up the slack which makes me feel awful and stressed. I do desperately need a holiday and I will get some rest in a few weeks time.

I feel like my brain is working very slowly and at a low level. It's very frustrating.

I feel like I can either be an OK parent or an ok worker, or I can take good care of my home etc, but when I try to do all 3 it falls apart.

I had a shower today which felt like a massive achievement! I also got all the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned but the household chores feel endless. Getting the kitchen sorted today is an achievement too. It will have a knock on benefit for my mental health through the week. I usually leave it to Friday and it just stresses me out as I wfh and then feel ashamed.

The exhaustion means that things spiral and get worse. I'm also very worried about my younger son who is having some trouble at school. Luckily only a week and a half left of school for them.

I need to do a lot of self care, exercise, healthy eating etc to mitigate some of the burnout, but unfortunately the burnout itself makes it very hard to do any of that and then I end up feeling worse and worse.

Thank you for your kindness and compassion. I really hope you can get a break soon.

 

[Traazers]

Hello everyone!
I've also been suffering again recently to the point of not even being able to post in this bloody thread! My temp job that I was really enjoying is low effort but high stress (lots of cold calling and being generally ignored) and 8 hours of it a day for 4 months in a row was just too much and my body has actually physically been freaking out, I've got severe tendonitis from RSI in my hand and I pulled an intercostar muscle last weekend so it hurts to breath. I had a couple of days off for my ribs last week and then had panic attacks the other two days of the week so couldn't make it to work at all, work have been semingly understanding about it but having to have time off has really annoyed me as it's a temp job (so I don't get paid sick) and they've not given me any commitment about hiring me at the end of my contract after acting as though it was a given to the point I've not lined anything else up and am now panicking.

@Wooh I am going to buy that book for the kindle when less financially tense as it sounds exactly what I need!

I hope everyone is feeling a bit better x
---

So I was doing OK there for a while but then the last four weeks I've had horrendous gut problems and this has now resulted in me going back down to the level of feeling completely burnt out with nothing left in the tank at all. I had been doing yoga and sea swimming but the gut problems stopped me from doing that and it impacted me greatly.

Gut problems are easing now. I've been to the doctor etc but haven't heard any specific reason and I'm convinced it is stress related. Been so deeply tired, struggling to make it through a day without a nap. Feel very easily irritated and overwhelmed. Add in parenting stress and an ill parent, covid in the house and I'm just ready to jack it all in and admit defeat.

Struggling to focus at work too. I don't know what I need. It's very much a case of stop the world I want to get off. Want to pause the relentlessness of life for a few weeks.

I've been feeling EXACTLY like that! Like I'm somehow simultaneously under and overwhelmed by everything; the mundane seems really stressful but I'm also feeling so crap I don't wanna do anything else that would distract me from the day to day stuff feeling hard. I think we both need a holiday. I don't have parenting or an ill parent to deal with either so I really really feel for you. Be kind to yourself x

 

[Traazers]

Hello

I'm on a burnout recovery journey too.

Pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD which leads me to being extremely overwhelmed all the time, but also to taking on immensely challenging roles etc because I thrive on the stress and the difficulty.

So yeh I don't make life easy for myself but I can't seem to manage any other approach.

Came out of a toxic team in November 2022, where I'd been stuck throughout covid with an awful line manager who attempted to destroy my confidence not through malice but through incompetence. Moved on promotion to a fantastic team but on a very emotionally and intellectually demanding role however I can achieve all things with excellent colleagues which i have, however the toll on me has been immense.

Was definitely burnt out from big massive life changes like moving house in 2022, and the general overwhelm I experience from parenting my two young teens and house work life admin etc.

Add in a lot of other stressors and then family serious illness in December just past and I really reached breaking point in terms of sheer exhaustion.

On holiday now but back at work on Monday and hoping to continue my rest and focus on getting myself recovered. Have started little bits of self care and definitely seeing a difference already while on hols. Took another holiday last month and spent it on pure rest and recovery and it helped immensely.

I overthink a lot and make bad choices with food etc, addicted to stressful work situations. Little things push me over the edge but I do bounce back quickly.

Burnout is scary and I can't afford to let it get any worse.
---
Oh yes and just wanted to say my burnout manifested as just psychologically and physically giving up which is so out of character for me as I push on regardless. But then over the last while if something difficult happened, I'd just mentally think I can't do this, and I'm giving up. Also feeling unmotivated, exhausted, irritable, not wanting to do anything or go anywhere.

Thank you for sharing! I resonate with a lot of this and particularly the bit in bold but it's not something I've actually conciously realised so super helpful!
I'm actually temping at the moment in a much easier role and less high pressure evironment, it's actually been great to boost my confidence as compared to my last job they think I'm great because I'm used to being constantly pressured to be doing more. But I also recognise that I'll probably get bored with it after a while, or potentially make ways to make it more stressful (getting unnecessarily anxious about it, slacking through the day and having a mad 3pm rush to get everything done, etc.). so I'm at a bit of a crossroads deciding whether I'm better of sticking to this easier, nicer role or going on to another job that has the potential for higher earnings and more glory but is going to be a lot harder and more stressful.

I hope you've enjoyed your hol, it's really nice to take time off and just rest, but I'm abasolutely terrible at it!

 

[Wooh]

Hi @Traazers. I am here. I will join a conversation, I have been #burnedout.

I hope your new thread takes off. Let's talk!

 

[Shimmering]

So I was doing OK there for a while but then the last four weeks I've had horrendous gut problems and this has now resulted in me going back down to the level of feeling completely burnt out with nothing left in the tank at all. I had been doing yoga and sea swimming but the gut problems stopped me from doing that and it impacted me greatly.

Gut problems are easing now. I've been to the doctor etc but haven't heard any specific reason and I'm convinced it is stress related. Been so deeply tired, struggling to make it through a day without a nap. Feel very easily irritated and overwhelmed. Add in parenting stress and an ill parent, covid in the house and I'm just ready to jack it all in and admit defeat.

Struggling to focus at work too. I don't know what I need. It's very much a case of stop the world I want to get off. Want to pause the relentlessness of life for a few weeks.

 

[Shimmering]

Hope everyone on the thread is managing OK.

I had had some really good rest, and started taking some supplements which were supposed to help with brain fog which I've been suffering terribly from over the last few years. Magnesium and lions mane if anyone is interested. Also taking vitamin d once a week.

So the supplements really helped, but in a way they helped too much and put me into a state which I've read some people calling God mode. Almost like a kind of superhuman almost mania but not quite that extreme, but I was on fire at work, i was all over the housework, I was meeting up with people, exercising, being a great parent, and anyway, long story short I seem to have massively overdone and burnt myself out again to the point of being panicked and anxious at work, and bone crushingly exhausted in the evenings. I'm just about to fall asleep here. Hoping if I can manage to get some decent rest that will help my symptoms.

 

[Wooh]

Hi! I, too, have shared on f+d, probably tooooo often!

I have a sad knowledge about burnout, in whichever form it takes. It's the gradual understanding that "wherever you go, there you are".

Having rejigged my "big" career for fun and hard working jobs, I find myself just as passionate and worrying too much and trying to do everything to over perfection and then get frustrated that other people "don't care".

Those other people do actually care, they're just not over invested.

And so I see that I am my own burnout problem. It'd be funny, except that I can't stop.

 

[Traazers]

I totally hear you about the work stuff, purposely making things more stressful etc, from what I've read about ADHD it's the way our minds search for / create opportunities for stress and conflict because it makes it easier to maintain focus and interest.

I'm also bad at resting! It seems to be a family trait but I'm now seeing the devastating impact of it on a loved one who never stopped.

I've been balancing resting with indulging my need to do things ... it makes the resting part easier if I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I've done X Y and Z so I won't have the worry that I'll look back and beat myself up for being lazy! Honestly my brain and way of looking at life exhaust me. Constantly overthinking and analysing. Does me no good in some ways, and helps me in others.

That makes a lot of sense! I did some reading into ADHD when my sister was diagnosed with it a few years ago but I haven't looked at it for ages, maybe I should. I've spent all of my life wondering why I seem to actively sabotage myself so hearing you say you do the same thing is sooo helpful! and makes me feel less mad haha, so thank you!

I had a full mental breakdown because of burnout last year, I'd had to take a few months off work the year before, went back (in Jan) too soon and without dealing with stuff and that then culminated in basically being incapable of doing anything, I was so anxious I was waking up and throwing up every day and just not able to cope with ANYTHING. Work (I'd been there 5 years) were much less understanding and put me on SSP which meant I had to leave my flat and move in with my boyfriend (too soon which we're now dealing with the aftermath of) and then work fucked my pay so I had less than £30 to live on for a month so I resigned, which obviously made things worse because I had to mentally deal with finding a new job rather than having one to go back to, so I started another role in the same industry at a smaller competitor, but the working environment was horrific; I could have carried on and made it work, I did try to, but I knew that it would be way too unhealthy for me longer term so I walked out in Feb. Then I interviewed at a few companies and got an offer that was basically perfect but time delayed, so I've taken this temp job in the meantime (it's a totally different industry but uses similar skills to my actual 'career') but there is an opportunity to do it longer term so I'm a bit mentally stuc on what to do next and what will be best for me. On one hand I hold a lot of my own worth based on work, so the easier less pressure job seems a bit less attractive but could be better for me longer term. But has a lot less opportunity to earn big.

I do find there's certain things I can choose to hyperfocus on, like when I get into going to the gym regularly, counting macros, working on progressive overload etc that almost feeds that part of my brain that needs to be thinking about something all the time but means I can loosen up on other areas of life and is quite positive in that way. I'm gonna try and get back into it in the next couple of weeks to see if it helps me from getting bored/disinterested with work

 

[Wooh]

Hi. I come with a gentle commendation for Mark Manson's book called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#ck."

I have found it helpful. Google will better describe its aims than I could.

On a lighter note to comrades on this thread, I hope this makes you laugh: I've drafted this message to boss to send at 10.42am Wednesday. And then I set an alarm to remind myself. You see, I didn't want to bother him at 9pm Aus time, or have him think I care too much. But then I didn't want to not do it. It was a headf#ck.

Truly, this is why PLU get burnt out.

A snippet below.

Context. Chef is leaving soon. I'm the kitchen/dining manager leaving mid August. I just want SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING TO KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING!!!

 

[Shimmering]

Thank you for sharing! I resonate with a lot of this and particularly the bit in bold but it's not something I've actually conciously realised so super helpful!
I'm actually temping at the moment in a much easier role and less high pressure evironment, it's actually been great to boost my confidence as compared to my last job they think I'm great because I'm used to being constantly pressured to be doing more. But I also recognise that I'll probably get bored with it after a while, or potentially make ways to make it more stressful (getting unnecessarily anxious about it, slacking through the day and having a mad 3pm rush to get everything done, etc.). so I'm at a bit of a crossroads deciding whether I'm better of sticking to this easier, nicer role or going on to another job that has the potential for higher earnings and more glory but is going to be a lot harder and more stressful.

I hope you've enjoyed your hol, it's really nice to take time off and just rest, but I'm abasolutely terrible at it!

I totally hear you about the work stuff, purposely making things more stressful etc, from what I've read about ADHD it's the way our minds search for / create opportunities for stress and conflict because it makes it easier to maintain focus and interest.

I'm also bad at resting! It seems to be a family trait but I'm now seeing the devastating impact of it on a loved one who never stopped.

I've been balancing resting with indulging my need to do things ... it makes the resting part easier if I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I've done X Y and Z so I won't have the worry that I'll look back and beat myself up for being lazy! Honestly my brain and way of looking at life exhaust me. Constantly overthinking and analysing. Does me no good in some ways, and helps me in others.