Thanks to @LadyKate for the thread title and over to you for the TLDR!
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Could be area, schools, potential for an extension. Either way I wouldn’t want to be in charge of packing Babs pile of landfill, sorry, belongings.
Probably next door to stes office so he gets home earlier to get the tea on
Well she says it's smaller. What she probably means is it hasn't got the loft space like her current one. But even though she says the garden is smaller it might possibly have a front garden too? I doubt it's smaller as what would be the point of moving and increasing your mortgage for a smaller house?
Just pulling up a pew #37 
Ooh my first thread title! Got so overexcited I’m currently fanning my foof 
Babs #36 TLDR - stop with the bloody pumpkins already.
Previously Babs showed she can’t hack it without the Babettes attention for longer than 36 hours, her narcissism was full frontal and if I see another pumpkin from her I’m going to scream.
Babs has truly outdone herself with her cooking “skills” tonight and has dished up a lovely, beige meal of waffles, peas and what looks like breaded chicken dippers with a side of ketchup. Oh Babs, your meals need a bit of work - a stir fry takes about the same amount of time and is much healthier for you all. Birmingham Fire Service were relieved when they got the call from Ste that she’d finished cooking successfully, the house was still standing and they could stand down.
Lucy must think all her Christmases have come at once, Babs is actually taking her for an evening walk. We all know she’s doing it to prove a point after it was mentioned by @Tricia Doll that Babs never takes her for an evening walk, just the morning walk, and chase the children with the poo bag, to school. To further prove that she is all about the charity now she is showing off her Birmingham Children’s Hospital Charity travel mug. That’s an idea her and BTEC Paul should jump on, travel mugs for the Babettes’ morning walks to school. They could say “After this I’m putting my pjs back on” or “hairband in my hair, don’t care”.
Today’s daily morning pit of doom story features the fact that Babs was supposedly up half the night researching the rule of 6 being implemented on Monday. Such is her fear that she will have to actually cook a Christmas dinner for her family. She tried to sell it as “Granny San being worried about their family Christmas” but we all know it’s Babs desperately not wanting to cook and wanting someone else around to help with the kids on Christmas so she can sit on her arse and crack on with the day drinking.
“Did you know I know Rosie Ramsey? Did you know she’s my friend? She’s my BEST FRIEND!”
this is what the next story about her “dream” about poor Rosie and them apparently being pregnant together is trying to achieve. Rosie probably looked at the tag in the story and wondered what she’d done in a previous life to wind up with Babs practically frothing at the mouth with rabid desire to be friends with her. She’s clearly still a bit m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d over tampongate and trying to get back on Rosie’s good side with her “hilarious” dream. Rosie hasn’t shared the story though, poor Babs must be heading for the shower for a good sob.
Today’s shuffle has been thwarted by her knee supposedly popping out at the weekend. But funnily enough it was ok for her desperate floor display yesterday... If it had popped out she’d probably have ended up at minor injuries and we would have heard allllllll about it and how scary it was with Covid raging and probably about her sexy doctor (can you picture my eyes rolling as I write this?)
SHE USED THE HOT COCK STATION! This is not a drill, the hot cock station is in action! Bet she had to blow the dust off the top of the hot cock mix tub though. Everyone who said she never seems to use it gets a pack of mint Oreos. We see you watching us Babs.
Today is a super sexy day for our Babs. She sorted out her woolly hats. I mean how sexy is that, sorting winter woolly hats? When I saw the image I wasn’t sure whether to report it to Instagram as pornography, that’s how explicit and sexual it was. Gawd just thinking about it is making me flush, someone pass me the fan.
“Thrilling Thursday’s” are back, not like there’s a pandemic on or anything eh Babs? She’s now filled her Halloween excitement quota and has moved onto Christmas with her first mince pie. It’s September. Give it a few weeks and she’ll be onto Valentines and then Easter. She might run slowly but Christ she bloody gallops through seasonal events.
Whyyyy does Babs have to keep ruining all the nice things? She’s gone and done a #ad with Ocado (not Percy Pigs like it came across as). Ocado, you are meant to be better than a scummy Brummie who likes to scratch her pits and fan her foof on camera. It was a momentous occasion though as she changed the bedding and cracked out the decent, clean pjs for it. Her scoffing pack after pack of Percy pigs is the most porking action that bed has seen in years.
Babs is off on another jaunt today to a friends house to “work”. People like you are why Covid is on the rise again Babs, twit.
Shower tantrum in 5....4....3....2....1.... Brum has put in place stricter restrictions as well as the new “rule of 6” starting Monday and poor Babs just can’t get her head round the fact she can’t go to people’s houses anymore to “work”. Here’s hoping Ste comes home early enough to explain it to her before she falls asleep on the sofa for the evening.
Not Babs related but the Bristol IC20 branch, led by our founding member @Good Egg will be planning our own Babs style meet up, plan are: “Meet up down town, middle of Whiteladies Road - I’ll be holding a cheeky cock
(steady!) in my hand. Password: MankyBlanky” - Babs when you read this please realise it’s a joke, don’t send Ste up and down Whiteladies Road to try and menace us with his glares. He’d get the crap beaten out of him if he directed his gaze at the wrong person.
We see you reading here Babs. The IC20 makes a few comments about your dressing gowns and how one in particular looks like it needs fumigating and suddenly you feature them in their own Friday video. I’m not entirely sure what I just watched if I’m honest. I spent a fair amount of time after wondering if Ste kept his socks on because his toes are as freakishly long as his slenderman fingers. That is literally all I took from that, the question of Ste’s possibly long toes. Excellent work Babs, A+. I’m sure Ste enjoyed his night starfishing he got in the big bed and his bag of Percy Pigs as his reward for participating.
Pretty sure Babs blinkers are on hard this week to not mention several key dates/events that have happened. She has completely ignored: World Suicide Prevention Day, International Literacy Day and 9/11 Remembrance. And anything she does mention has to be how it relates to her and her life such as Diana Rigg passing and how she was named after her character from The Avengers blah blah blah. We all know Babs could use her platform for charity and education but instead uses it to dick about and get free stuff for #ads.
With the use of diagrams Ste appears to have managed to explain the new Brum rules to Babs. She’s quite happy because she can still meet Nanny San in the pub but is apparently concerned about how it works for grandparents who help with childcare. Babs has no need for childcare because she sits on her arse all day. I’m still expecting her to ignore it all though because she’s Kween Babs and the rules don’t apply.
Same old Saturday is in full flow, soggy pastries, sexual plants with an added bonus teeth whitening gurn. She looks like something out The Shining, “Heeeerrrreeeee’s Babs!” Tbh I think she’d be scarier than Jack Nicholson if she broke through your door with an axe, imagine sitting there peacefully when Babs bursts through the door gurning at you and starts screaming about her WAP, the trollllllllssssss and how much she loves autumn while frothing at the mouth before she brains you with one of her pumpkins.
4:40pm and Babs is on the Prosecco already. Her well trained house boy Ste “served” her it so she can sit on her arse and watch the sofa and leave him alone. Back in the same old disgusting pjs and trying to blame the smell on dog farts. It’s not the dogs farts that smell Bab, it’s you!
Babs went to a farm today, here’s hoping the animals have their jabs to prevent them getting sick from her germs. We know she’s got a raging case of Mad Cow disease (only explanation for the WAP video, she’s barking) as well as Hand, Foot and Mouth but hopefully the poor animals can’t catch her Covid germs from her many trips. It would also greatly amuse me (and probably the rest of the IC20) if she got chased by a goat. Imagine her shuffling away followed in hot pursuit by a goat, “Steeeeeee! Help me! It’s chasing me! Steeeeee!”
The kids had a once in a lifetime learning experience and got to see an actual potato and what it looks like before it winds up in their waffles. I expect she also had fun explaining what corn on the cob is as I doubt they’ve seen that before either, even in its tinned form.
Babs is trying to prove that she doesn’t have favourites and treats “the boy” the same as “the girl” by buying him a pair of a dungarees he apparently really wanted and getting him to model them in 20c weather is the perfect way to show them off
poor kid, hopefully he doesn’t wind up with dehydration.
Just been on the phone to my GP, Babs has given me the answer as to why I forget many things, specifically that I birthed a small male human 7+ years ago. Apparently forgetting is a side effect of having a boy. My GP was delighted, he’s currently starting to write a paper on it as many people have been pondering for years “why is social media filled with girl mums? Why do so many people forget they have boys?” Gosh silly old me for not figuring it out before, I guess I just forgot! But seriously Babs, YOU might forget about “the boy” but there are lots of insta mummies and daddies who do not forget they have boys and some of them are even your “friends”. This is one narrative rewrite that we’re not buying.
The beauty ad has landed! I repeat, the beauty ad has landed! And it’s with, well I don’t know really, I’ve never heard of them. I was also confused if the grid post was an #ad because she forgot to state that it is an #ad, plus she forgot to use her spellcheck on the caption, nice work Babs, super professional. It’s a subscription service much like fabletics, easy to get into and hard to get out of, the companies have easily identified the Babettes as easy pray who will follow their leader blindly. I went through the Beauty Pie FAQs and it scrambled my brain, no wonder Babs seems confused by it all!
@Lady Doodle has summed up Babs #ad efforts perfectly:
“I actually can't get my breath
Of all the things she's advertised,,,,,,
Active wear when she barely leaves the sofa!
Ocado when she (Ste) shops at Sainsbury’s
Fajita's on a Friday when we all know its Chinese takeaway night (when she's not in DLP
)
Need i go on,,,, you get my point. She’s a fake. Nothing she advertises is true to herself!!!! And now Beauty”
And today on 14/07/20 Babs has finally broken the momentous news that she is moving! Kept quiet due to finding a mortgage and not wanting to shove it in people’s faces due to Covid and the effect it had on others (yeah right Babs, we know you always think of others). Surprisingly she hasn’t blamed the IC20 and “the trollllllssssss” for the upcoming move. She was apparently sold by the large mug cupboard and given that it’s “smaller and nothing like houses we’ve had before” I foresee a change in her USP to a home renovation type - possibly bye bye to bippidyboppitybullshit and a name change? All I definitely know is that @MrsBriggs must be doing cartwheels in the road right now in celebration! I am now taking bets on the number of packing vlogs until the move date and lorries used on the day. Prize for the most accurate guess is a bottle of Malibu. There is so much more I could say to do with the house move but unlike Babs I know when to stop, none of you wants an essay to read.
@Lady Doodle planned out the celebration for @MrsBriggs when Babs finally moves a while ago (#32): “Headbands and Saltwater Sandles are compulsory attire
Too much bronzer is a must
Tropicanna out of Disney mugs and Fajita's for refreshments
Stripey Bunting hanging off the trees
Gary Barlow music playing just for the hell of it
And we'll all end with the Babs Shuffle run
around the park in our Flabletics leggings” We may need to add gift bags from Beauty Pie and a commemorative mug “bye bye Babs” for all attendees too!
Coming soon - Ste gets his own big boy bed and bedroom redecoration vlog, Babs gets a brand new bathroom to tantrum in (I wonder if she measured it for optimum tantrum space, would hate for her to injure herself while she’s lying on the floor kicking and thumping her fists toddler style) and we might finally get some newer content for her to recycle if she does swap to “brummymummyhousereno”. But the one thing we can be absolutely certain of is that she will never stop scratching herself.
Bonus Babs nicknames:
@Good Egg - Babeth Chalmers
@ChickenWine - Bubonic Babs
@GingerWhinger - Emma Condashian
@Grayson - Brum the Builder (can she fix it? No she can’t!)
Brilliant bonus “Brum the Builder” song from @Missymoo92 (you should seriously consider song writing/rewriting as parodies as a career, you could do a book of various parody songs about influencers/celebrities etc) https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-...-pumpkins-its-not-halloween.9255/post-2371676
Oh and one final PSA - Babs apparently has bugs/bug eggs in her bumhole. Enjoy that mental image everyone!
Babs #36 TLDR - stop with the bloody pumpkins already.
Previously Babs showed she can’t hack it without the Babettes attention for longer than 36 hours, her narcissism was full frontal and if I see another pumpkin from her I’m going to scream.
Babs has truly outdone herself with her cooking “skills” tonight and has dished up a lovely, beige meal of waffles, peas and what looks like breaded chicken dippers with a side of ketchup. Oh Babs, your meals need a bit of work - a stir fry takes about the same amount of time and is much healthier for you all. Birmingham Fire Service were relieved when they got the call from Ste that she’d finished cooking successfully, the house was still standing and they could stand down.
Lucy must think all her Christmases have come at once, Babs is actually taking her for an evening walk. We all know she’s doing it to prove a point after it was mentioned by @Tricia Doll that Babs never takes her for an evening walk, just the morning walk, and chase the children with the poo bag, to school. To further prove that she is all about the charity now she is showing off her Birmingham Children’s Hospital Charity travel mug. That’s an idea her and BTEC Paul should jump on, travel mugs for the Babettes’ morning walks to school. They could say “After this I’m putting my pjs back on” or “hairband in my hair, don’t care”.
Today’s daily morning pit of doom story features the fact that Babs was supposedly up half the night researching the rule of 6 being implemented on Monday. Such is her fear that she will have to actually cook a Christmas dinner for her family. She tried to sell it as “Granny San being worried about their family Christmas” but we all know it’s Babs desperately not wanting to cook and wanting someone else around to help with the kids on Christmas so she can sit on her arse and crack on with the day drinking.
“Did you know I know Rosie Ramsey? Did you know she’s my friend? She’s my BEST FRIEND!”
this is what the next story about her “dream” about poor Rosie and them apparently being pregnant together is trying to achieve. Rosie probably looked at the tag in the story and wondered what she’d done in a previous life to wind up with Babs practically frothing at the mouth with rabid desire to be friends with her. She’s clearly still a bit m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d over tampongate and trying to get back on Rosie’s good side with her “hilarious” dream. Rosie hasn’t shared the story though, poor Babs must be heading for the shower for a good sob.Today’s shuffle has been thwarted by her knee supposedly popping out at the weekend. But funnily enough it was ok for her desperate floor display yesterday... If it had popped out she’d probably have ended up at minor injuries and we would have heard allllllll about it and how scary it was with Covid raging and probably about her sexy doctor (can you picture my eyes rolling as I write this?)
SHE USED THE HOT COCK STATION! This is not a drill, the hot cock station is in action! Bet she had to blow the dust off the top of the hot cock mix tub though. Everyone who said she never seems to use it gets a pack of mint Oreos. We see you watching us Babs.
Today is a super sexy day for our Babs. She sorted out her woolly hats. I mean how sexy is that, sorting winter woolly hats? When I saw the image I wasn’t sure whether to report it to Instagram as pornography, that’s how explicit and sexual it was. Gawd just thinking about it is making me flush, someone pass me the fan.
“Thrilling Thursday’s” are back, not like there’s a pandemic on or anything eh Babs? She’s now filled her Halloween excitement quota and has moved onto Christmas with her first mince pie. It’s September. Give it a few weeks and she’ll be onto Valentines and then Easter. She might run slowly but Christ she bloody gallops through seasonal events.
Whyyyy does Babs have to keep ruining all the nice things? She’s gone and done a #ad with Ocado (not Percy Pigs like it came across as). Ocado, you are meant to be better than a scummy Brummie who likes to scratch her pits and fan her foof on camera. It was a momentous occasion though as she changed the bedding and cracked out the decent, clean pjs for it. Her scoffing pack after pack of Percy pigs is the most porking action that bed has seen in years.
Babs is off on another jaunt today to a friends house to “work”. People like you are why Covid is on the rise again Babs, twit.
Shower tantrum in 5....4....3....2....1.... Brum has put in place stricter restrictions as well as the new “rule of 6” starting Monday and poor Babs just can’t get her head round the fact she can’t go to people’s houses anymore to “work”. Here’s hoping Ste comes home early enough to explain it to her before she falls asleep on the sofa for the evening.
Not Babs related but the Bristol IC20 branch, led by our founding member @Good Egg will be planning our own Babs style meet up, plan are: “Meet up down town, middle of Whiteladies Road - I’ll be holding a cheeky cock
(steady!) in my hand. Password: MankyBlanky” - Babs when you read this please realise it’s a joke, don’t send Ste up and down Whiteladies Road to try and menace us with his glares. He’d get the crap beaten out of him if he directed his gaze at the wrong person.We see you reading here Babs. The IC20 makes a few comments about your dressing gowns and how one in particular looks like it needs fumigating and suddenly you feature them in their own Friday video. I’m not entirely sure what I just watched if I’m honest. I spent a fair amount of time after wondering if Ste kept his socks on because his toes are as freakishly long as his slenderman fingers. That is literally all I took from that, the question of Ste’s possibly long toes. Excellent work Babs, A+. I’m sure Ste enjoyed his night starfishing he got in the big bed and his bag of Percy Pigs as his reward for participating.
Pretty sure Babs blinkers are on hard this week to not mention several key dates/events that have happened. She has completely ignored: World Suicide Prevention Day, International Literacy Day and 9/11 Remembrance. And anything she does mention has to be how it relates to her and her life such as Diana Rigg passing and how she was named after her character from The Avengers blah blah blah. We all know Babs could use her platform for charity and education but instead uses it to dick about and get free stuff for #ads.
With the use of diagrams Ste appears to have managed to explain the new Brum rules to Babs. She’s quite happy because she can still meet Nanny San in the pub but is apparently concerned about how it works for grandparents who help with childcare. Babs has no need for childcare because she sits on her arse all day. I’m still expecting her to ignore it all though because she’s Kween Babs and the rules don’t apply.
Same old Saturday is in full flow, soggy pastries, sexual plants with an added bonus teeth whitening gurn. She looks like something out The Shining, “Heeeerrrreeeee’s Babs!” Tbh I think she’d be scarier than Jack Nicholson if she broke through your door with an axe, imagine sitting there peacefully when Babs bursts through the door gurning at you and starts screaming about her WAP, the trollllllllssssss and how much she loves autumn while frothing at the mouth before she brains you with one of her pumpkins.
4:40pm and Babs is on the Prosecco already. Her well trained house boy Ste “served” her it so she can sit on her arse and watch the sofa and leave him alone. Back in the same old disgusting pjs and trying to blame the smell on dog farts. It’s not the dogs farts that smell Bab, it’s you!
Babs went to a farm today, here’s hoping the animals have their jabs to prevent them getting sick from her germs. We know she’s got a raging case of Mad Cow disease (only explanation for the WAP video, she’s barking) as well as Hand, Foot and Mouth but hopefully the poor animals can’t catch her Covid germs from her many trips. It would also greatly amuse me (and probably the rest of the IC20) if she got chased by a goat. Imagine her shuffling away followed in hot pursuit by a goat, “Steeeeeee! Help me! It’s chasing me! Steeeeee!”
The kids had a once in a lifetime learning experience and got to see an actual potato and what it looks like before it winds up in their waffles. I expect she also had fun explaining what corn on the cob is as I doubt they’ve seen that before either, even in its tinned form.
Babs is trying to prove that she doesn’t have favourites and treats “the boy” the same as “the girl” by buying him a pair of a dungarees he apparently really wanted and getting him to model them in 20c weather is the perfect way to show them off
poor kid, hopefully he doesn’t wind up with dehydration.Just been on the phone to my GP, Babs has given me the answer as to why I forget many things, specifically that I birthed a small male human 7+ years ago. Apparently forgetting is a side effect of having a boy. My GP was delighted, he’s currently starting to write a paper on it as many people have been pondering for years “why is social media filled with girl mums? Why do so many people forget they have boys?” Gosh silly old me for not figuring it out before, I guess I just forgot! But seriously Babs, YOU might forget about “the boy” but there are lots of insta mummies and daddies who do not forget they have boys and some of them are even your “friends”. This is one narrative rewrite that we’re not buying.
The beauty ad has landed! I repeat, the beauty ad has landed! And it’s with, well I don’t know really, I’ve never heard of them. I was also confused if the grid post was an #ad because she forgot to state that it is an #ad, plus she forgot to use her spellcheck on the caption, nice work Babs, super professional. It’s a subscription service much like fabletics, easy to get into and hard to get out of, the companies have easily identified the Babettes as easy pray who will follow their leader blindly. I went through the Beauty Pie FAQs and it scrambled my brain, no wonder Babs seems confused by it all!
@Lady Doodle has summed up Babs #ad efforts perfectly:
“I actually can't get my breath
Of all the things she's advertised,,,,,,
Active wear when she barely leaves the sofa!
Ocado when she (Ste) shops at Sainsbury’s
Fajita's on a Friday when we all know its Chinese takeaway night (when she's not in DLP
)Need i go on,,,, you get my point. She’s a fake. Nothing she advertises is true to herself!!!! And now Beauty
”And today on 14/07/20 Babs has finally broken the momentous news that she is moving! Kept quiet due to finding a mortgage and not wanting to shove it in people’s faces due to Covid and the effect it had on others (yeah right Babs, we know you always think of others). Surprisingly she hasn’t blamed the IC20 and “the trollllllssssss” for the upcoming move. She was apparently sold by the large mug cupboard and given that it’s “smaller and nothing like houses we’ve had before” I foresee a change in her USP to a home renovation type - possibly bye bye to bippidyboppitybullshit and a name change? All I definitely know is that @MrsBriggs must be doing cartwheels in the road right now in celebration! I am now taking bets on the number of packing vlogs until the move date and lorries used on the day. Prize for the most accurate guess is a bottle of Malibu. There is so much more I could say to do with the house move but unlike Babs I know when to stop, none of you wants an essay to read.
@Lady Doodle planned out the celebration for @MrsBriggs when Babs finally moves a while ago (#32): “Headbands and Saltwater Sandles are compulsory attire
Too much bronzer is a must
Tropicanna out of Disney mugs and Fajita's for refreshments
Stripey Bunting hanging off the trees
Gary Barlow music playing just for the hell of it
And we'll all end with the Babs Shuffle run
around the park in our Flabletics leggings” We may need to add gift bags from Beauty Pie and a commemorative mug “bye bye Babs” for all attendees too!
Coming soon - Ste gets his own big boy bed and bedroom redecoration vlog, Babs gets a brand new bathroom to tantrum in (I wonder if she measured it for optimum tantrum space, would hate for her to injure herself while she’s lying on the floor kicking and thumping her fists toddler style) and we might finally get some newer content for her to recycle if she does swap to “brummymummyhousereno”. But the one thing we can be absolutely certain of is that she will never stop scratching herself.
Bonus Babs nicknames:
@Good Egg - Babeth Chalmers
@ChickenWine - Bubonic Babs
@GingerWhinger - Emma Condashian
@Grayson - Brum the Builder (can she fix it? No she can’t!)
Brilliant bonus “Brum the Builder” song from @Missymoo92 (you should seriously consider song writing/rewriting as parodies as a career, you could do a book of various parody songs about influencers/celebrities etc) https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-...-pumpkins-its-not-halloween.9255/post-2371676
Oh and one final PSA - Babs apparently has bugs/bug eggs in her bumhole. Enjoy that mental image everyone!
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Another doubter here about the house being smaller.. I think she will probably do a Kerry Whelpdale style reno.. she bought a small bungalow and turned it into a huge house with bifold doors etc. I very much doubt she is genuinely going to downsize. It will be for reno content as her kids are getting older.
Come on babs (we know you're reading)...you've got to admit that you laugh at @LadyKate's TLDR's, how can you not, they're bloody brilliant!
Babs, babsOoh my first thread title! Got so overexcited I’m currently fanning my foof
Babs #36 TLDR - stop with the bloody pumpkins already.
Previously Babs showed she can’t hack it without the Babettes attention for longer than 36 hours, her narcissism was full frontal and if I see another pumpkin from her I’m going to scream.
Babs has truly outdone herself with her cooking “skills” tonight and has dished up a lovely, beige meal of waffles, peas and what looks like breaded chicken dippers with a side of ketchup. Oh Babs, your meals need a bit of work - a stir fry takes about the same amount of time and is much healthier for you all. Birmingham Fire Service were relieved when they got the call from Ste that she’d finished cooking successfully, the house was still standing and they could stand down.
Lucy must think all her Christmases have come at once, Babs is actually taking her for an evening walk. We all know she’s doing it to prove a point after it was mentioned by @Tricia Doll that Babs never takes her for an evening walk, just the morning walk, and chase the children with the poo bag, to school. To further prove that she is all about the charity now she is showing off her Birmingham Children’s Hospital Charity travel mug. That’s an idea her and BTEC Paul should jump on, travel mugs for the Babettes’ morning walks to school. They could say “After this I’m putting my pjs back on” or “hairband in my hair, don’t care”.
Today’s daily morning pit of doom story features the fact that Babs was supposedly up half the night researching the rule of 6 being implemented on Monday. Such is her fear that she will have to actually cook a Christmas dinner for her family. She tried to sell it as “Granny San being worried about their family Christmas” but we all know it’s Babs desperately not wanting to cook and wanting someone else around to help with the kids on Christmas so she can sit on her arse and crack on with the day drinking.
“Did you know I know Rosie Ramsey? Did you know she’s my friend? She’s my BEST FRIEND!”
Today’s shuffle has been thwarted by her knee supposedly popping out at the weekend. But funnily enough it was ok for her desperate floor display yesterday... If it had popped out she’d probably have ended up at minor injuries and we would have heard allllllll about it and how scary it was with Covid raging and probably about her sexy doctor (can you picture my eyes rolling as I write this?)
SHE USED THE HOT COCK STATION! This is not a drill, the hot cock station is in action! Bet she had to blow the dust off the top of the hot cock mix tub though. Everyone who said she never seems to use it gets a pack of mint Oreos. We see you watching us Babs.
Today is a super sexy day for our Babs. She sorted out her woolly hats. I mean how sexy is that, sorting winter woolly hats? When I saw the image I wasn’t sure whether to report it to Instagram as pornography, that’s how explicit and sexual it was. Gawd just thinking about it is making me flush, someone pass me the fan.
“Thrilling Thursday’s” are back, not like there’s a pandemic on or anything eh Babs? She’s now filled her Halloween excitement quota and has moved onto Christmas with her first mince pie. It’s September. Give it a few weeks and she’ll be onto Valentines and then Easter. She might run slowly but Christ she bloody gallops through seasonal events.
Whyyyy does Babs have to keep ruining all the nice things? She’s gone and done a #ad with Ocado (not Percy Pigs like it came across as). Ocado, you are meant to be better than a scummy Brummie who likes to scratch her pits and fan her foof on camera. It was a momentous occasion though as she changed the bedding and cracked out the decent, clean pjs for it. Her scoffing pack after pack of Percy pigs is the most porking action that bed has seen in years.
Babs is off on another jaunt today to a friends house to “work”. People like you are why Covid is on the rise again Babs, twit.
Shower tantrum in 5....4....3....2....1.... Brum has put in place stricter restrictions as well as the new “rule of 6” starting Monday and poor Babs just can’t get her head round the fact she can’t go to people’s houses anymore to “work”. Here’s hoping Ste comes home early enough to explain it to her before she falls asleep on the sofa for the evening.
Not Babs related but the Bristol IC20 branch, led by our founding member @Good Egg will be planning our own Babs style meet up, plan are: “Meet up down town, middle of Whiteladies Road - I’ll be holding a cheeky cock
We see you reading here Babs. The IC20 makes a few comments about your dressing gowns and how one in particular looks like it needs fumigating and suddenly you feature them in their own Friday video. I’m not entirely sure what I just watched if I’m honest. I spent a fair amount of time after wondering if Ste kept his socks on because his toes are as freakishly long as his slenderman fingers. That is literally all I took from that, the question of Ste’s possibly long toes. Excellent work Babs, A+. I’m sure Ste enjoyed his night starfishing he got in the big bed and his bag of Percy Pigs as his reward for participating.
Pretty sure Babs blinkers are on hard this week to not mention several key dates/events that have happened. She has completely ignored: World Suicide Prevention Day, International Literacy Day and 9/11 Remembrance. And anything she does mention has to be how it relates to her and her life such as Diana Rigg passing and how she was named after her character from The Avengers blah blah blah. We all know Babs could use her platform for charity and education but instead uses it to dick about and get free stuff for #ads.
With the use of diagrams Ste appears to have managed to explain the new Brum rules to Babs. She’s quite happy because she can still meet Nanny San in the pub but is apparently concerned about how it works for grandparents who help with childcare. Babs has no need for childcare because she sits on her arse all day. I’m still expecting her to ignore it all though because she’s Kween Babs and the rules don’t apply.
Same old Saturday is in full flow, soggy pastries, sexual plants with an added bonus teeth whitening gurn. She looks like something out The Shining, “Heeeerrrreeeee’s Babs!” Tbh I think she’d be scarier than Jack Nicholson if she broke through your door with an axe, imagine sitting there peacefully when Babs bursts through the door gurning at you and starts screaming about her WAP, the trollllllllssssss and how much she loves autumn while frothing at the mouth before she brains you with one of her pumpkins.
4:40pm and Babs is on the Prosecco already. Her well trained house boy Ste “served” her it so she can sit on her arse and watch the sofa and leave him alone. Back in the same old disgusting pjs and trying to blame the smell on dog farts. It’s not the dogs farts that smell Bab, it’s you!
Babs went to a farm today, here’s hoping the animals have their jabs to prevent them getting sick from her germs. We know she’s got a raging case of Mad Cow disease (only explanation for the WAP video, she’s barking) as well as Hand, Foot and Mouth but hopefully the poor animals can’t catch her Covid germs from her many trips. It would also greatly amuse me (and probably the rest of the IC20) if she got chased by a goat. Imagine her shuffling away followed in hot pursuit by a goat, “Steeeeeee! Help me! It’s chasing me! Steeeeee!”
The kids had a once in a lifetime learning experience and got to see an actual potato and what it looks like before it winds up in their waffles. I expect she also had fun explaining what corn on the cob is as I doubt they’ve seen that before either, even in its tinned form.
Babs is trying to prove that she doesn’t have favourites and treats “the boy” the same as “the girl” by buying him a pair of a dungarees he apparently really wanted and getting him to model them in 20c weather is the perfect way to show them off
Just been on the phone to my GP, Babs has given me the answer as to why I forget many things, specifically that I birthed a small male human 7+ years ago. Apparently forgetting is a side effect of having a boy. My GP was delighted, he’s currently starting to write a paper on it as many people have been pondering for years “why is social media filled with girl mums? Why do so many people forget they have boys?” Gosh silly old me for not figuring it out before, I guess I just forgot! But seriously Babs, YOU might forget about “the boy” but there are lots of insta mummies and daddies who do not forget they have boys and some of them are even your “friends”. This is one narrative rewrite that we’re not buying.
The beauty ad has landed! I repeat, the beauty ad has landed! And it’s with, well I don’t know really, I’ve never heard of them. I was also confused if the grid post was an #ad because she forgot to state that it is an #ad, plus she forgot to use her spellcheck on the caption, nice work Babs, super professional. It’s a subscription service much like fabletics, easy to get into and hard to get out of, the companies have easily identified the Babettes as easy pray who will follow their leader blindly. I went through the Beauty Pie FAQs and it scrambled my brain, no wonder Babs seems confused by it all!
@Lady Doodle has summed up Babs #ad efforts perfectly:
“I actually can't get my breath
Of all the things she's advertised,,,,,,
Active wear when she barely leaves the sofa!
Ocado when she (Ste) shops at Sainsbury’s
Fajita's on a Friday when we all know its Chinese takeaway night (when she's not in DLP
Need i go on,,,, you get my point. She’s a fake. Nothing she advertises is true to herself!!!! And now Beauty
And today on 14/07/20 Babs has finally broken the momentous news that she is moving! Kept quiet due to finding a mortgage and not wanting to shove it in people’s faces due to Covid and the effect it had on others (yeah right Babs, we know you always think of others). Surprisingly she hasn’t blamed the IC20 and “the trollllllssssss” for the upcoming move. She was apparently sold by the large mug cupboard and given that it’s “smaller and nothing like houses we’ve had before” I foresee a change in her USP to a home renovation type - possibly bye bye to bippidyboppitybullshit and a name change? All I definitely know is that @MrsBriggs must be doing cartwheels in the road right now in celebration! I am now taking bets on the number of packing vlogs until the move date and lorries used on the day. Prize for the most accurate guess is a bottle of Malibu. There is so much more I could say to do with the house move but unlike Babs I know when to stop, none of you wants an essay to read.
@Lady Doodle planned out the celebration for @MrsBriggs when Babs finally moves a while ago (#32): “Headbands and Saltwater Sandles are compulsory attire
Too much bronzer is a must
Tropicanna out of Disney mugs and Fajita's for refreshments
Stripey Bunting hanging off the trees
Gary Barlow music playing just for the hell of it
And we'll all end with the Babs Shuffle run
around the park in our Flabletics leggings” We may need to add gift bags from Beauty Pie and a commemorative mug “bye bye Babs” for all attendees too!
Coming soon - Ste gets his own big boy bed and bedroom redecoration vlog, Babs gets a brand new bathroom to tantrum in (I wonder if she measured it for optimum tantrum space, would hate for her to injure herself while she’s lying on the floor kicking and thumping her fists toddler style) and we might finally get some newer content for her to recycle if she does swap to “brummymummyhousereno”. But the one thing we can be absolutely certain of is that she will never stop scratching herself.
Bonus Babs nicknames:
@Good Egg - Babeth Chalmers
@ChickenWine - Bubonic Babs
@GingerWhinger - Emma Condashian
@Grayson - Brum the Builder (can she fix it? No she can’t!)
Brilliant bonus “Brum the Builder” song from @Missymoo92 (you should seriously consider song writing/rewriting as parodies as a career, you could do a book of various parody songs about influencers/celebrities etc) https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-...-pumpkins-its-not-halloween.9255/post-2371676
Oh and one final PSA - Babs apparently has bugs/bug eggs in her bumhole. Enjoy that mental image everyone!
This. Right. Here. Is. What. Someone. With. Talent. Looks. Like
My first TLDR mention 
bow taken
bow taken Aww shucks, you’re making me blush! I do hope Babs enjoys reading them, if she pays me enough I’ll ghostwrite for her
@bibbidibobbidybadinteriordecisions
House reno 
she is too lazy
she is too lazy@deadplantsanddressinggowns
There's an instagrammer from Brum who's made a name for herself by doing a pretty decent house renovation. I wonder if she's going to try and rip her off?
I dont think she has said anywhere that they're increasing their Mortgage! I think that's just been presumed. I think they'll be decreasing their MTG tbh
She probably wanted the Prada but settled for Teva because she has more landfill worthy tit to buy for the new house.
Again, AmazingOoh my first thread title! Got so overexcited I’m currently fanning my foof
Babs #36 TLDR - stop with the bloody pumpkins already.
Previously Babs showed she can’t hack it without the Babettes attention for longer than 36 hours, her narcissism was full frontal and if I see another pumpkin from her I’m going to scream.
Babs has truly outdone herself with her cooking “skills” tonight and has dished up a lovely, beige meal of waffles, peas and what looks like breaded chicken dippers with a side of ketchup. Oh Babs, your meals need a bit of work - a stir fry takes about the same amount of time and is much healthier for you all. Birmingham Fire Service were relieved when they got the call from Ste that she’d finished cooking successfully, the house was still standing and they could stand down.
Lucy must think all her Christmases have come at once, Babs is actually taking her for an evening walk. We all know she’s doing it to prove a point after it was mentioned by @Tricia Doll that Babs never takes her for an evening walk, just the morning walk, and chase the children with the poo bag, to school. To further prove that she is all about the charity now she is showing off her Birmingham Children’s Hospital Charity travel mug. That’s an idea her and BTEC Paul should jump on, travel mugs for the Babettes’ morning walks to school. They could say “After this I’m putting my pjs back on” or “hairband in my hair, don’t care”.
Today’s daily morning pit of doom story features the fact that Babs was supposedly up half the night researching the rule of 6 being implemented on Monday. Such is her fear that she will have to actually cook a Christmas dinner for her family. She tried to sell it as “Granny San being worried about their family Christmas” but we all know it’s Babs desperately not wanting to cook and wanting someone else around to help with the kids on Christmas so she can sit on her arse and crack on with the day drinking.
“Did you know I know Rosie Ramsey? Did you know she’s my friend? She’s my BEST FRIEND!”
Today’s shuffle has been thwarted by her knee supposedly popping out at the weekend. But funnily enough it was ok for her desperate floor display yesterday... If it had popped out she’d probably have ended up at minor injuries and we would have heard allllllll about it and how scary it was with Covid raging and probably about her sexy doctor (can you picture my eyes rolling as I write this?)
SHE USED THE HOT COCK STATION! This is not a drill, the hot cock station is in action! Bet she had to blow the dust off the top of the hot cock mix tub though. Everyone who said she never seems to use it gets a pack of mint Oreos. We see you watching us Babs.
Today is a super sexy day for our Babs. She sorted out her woolly hats. I mean how sexy is that, sorting winter woolly hats? When I saw the image I wasn’t sure whether to report it to Instagram as pornography, that’s how explicit and sexual it was. Gawd just thinking about it is making me flush, someone pass me the fan.
“Thrilling Thursday’s” are back, not like there’s a pandemic on or anything eh Babs? She’s now filled her Halloween excitement quota and has moved onto Christmas with her first mince pie. It’s September. Give it a few weeks and she’ll be onto Valentines and then Easter. She might run slowly but Christ she bloody gallops through seasonal events.
Whyyyy does Babs have to keep ruining all the nice things? She’s gone and done a #ad with Ocado (not Percy Pigs like it came across as). Ocado, you are meant to be better than a scummy Brummie who likes to scratch her pits and fan her foof on camera. It was a momentous occasion though as she changed the bedding and cracked out the decent, clean pjs for it. Her scoffing pack after pack of Percy pigs is the most porking action that bed has seen in years.
Babs is off on another jaunt today to a friends house to “work”. People like you are why Covid is on the rise again Babs, twit.
Shower tantrum in 5....4....3....2....1.... Brum has put in place stricter restrictions as well as the new “rule of 6” starting Monday and poor Babs just can’t get her head round the fact she can’t go to people’s houses anymore to “work”. Here’s hoping Ste comes home early enough to explain it to her before she falls asleep on the sofa for the evening.
Not Babs related but the Bristol IC20 branch, led by our founding member @Good Egg will be planning our own Babs style meet up, plan are: “Meet up down town, middle of Whiteladies Road - I’ll be holding a cheeky cock
We see you reading here Babs. The IC20 makes a few comments about your dressing gowns and how one in particular looks like it needs fumigating and suddenly you feature them in their own Friday video. I’m not entirely sure what I just watched if I’m honest. I spent a fair amount of time after wondering if Ste kept his socks on because his toes are as freakishly long as his slenderman fingers. That is literally all I took from that, the question of Ste’s possibly long toes. Excellent work Babs, A+. I’m sure Ste enjoyed his night starfishing he got in the big bed and his bag of Percy Pigs as his reward for participating.
Pretty sure Babs blinkers are on hard this week to not mention several key dates/events that have happened. She has completely ignored: World Suicide Prevention Day, International Literacy Day and 9/11 Remembrance. And anything she does mention has to be how it relates to her and her life such as Diana Rigg passing and how she was named after her character from The Avengers blah blah blah. We all know Babs could use her platform for charity and education but instead uses it to dick about and get free stuff for #ads.
With the use of diagrams Ste appears to have managed to explain the new Brum rules to Babs. She’s quite happy because she can still meet Nanny San in the pub but is apparently concerned about how it works for grandparents who help with childcare. Babs has no need for childcare because she sits on her arse all day. I’m still expecting her to ignore it all though because she’s Kween Babs and the rules don’t apply.
Same old Saturday is in full flow, soggy pastries, sexual plants with an added bonus teeth whitening gurn. She looks like something out The Shining, “Heeeerrrreeeee’s Babs!” Tbh I think she’d be scarier than Jack Nicholson if she broke through your door with an axe, imagine sitting there peacefully when Babs bursts through the door gurning at you and starts screaming about her WAP, the trollllllllssssss and how much she loves autumn while frothing at the mouth before she brains you with one of her pumpkins.
4:40pm and Babs is on the Prosecco already. Her well trained house boy Ste “served” her it so she can sit on her arse and watch the sofa and leave him alone. Back in the same old disgusting pjs and trying to blame the smell on dog farts. It’s not the dogs farts that smell Bab, it’s you!
Babs went to a farm today, here’s hoping the animals have their jabs to prevent them getting sick from her germs. We know she’s got a raging case of Mad Cow disease (only explanation for the WAP video, she’s barking) as well as Hand, Foot and Mouth but hopefully the poor animals can’t catch her Covid germs from her many trips. It would also greatly amuse me (and probably the rest of the IC20) if she got chased by a goat. Imagine her shuffling away followed in hot pursuit by a goat, “Steeeeeee! Help me! It’s chasing me! Steeeeee!”
The kids had a once in a lifetime learning experience and got to see an actual potato and what it looks like before it winds up in their waffles. I expect she also had fun explaining what corn on the cob is as I doubt they’ve seen that before either, even in its tinned form.
Babs is trying to prove that she doesn’t have favourites and treats “the boy” the same as “the girl” by buying him a pair of a dungarees he apparently really wanted and getting him to model them in 20c weather is the perfect way to show them off
Just been on the phone to my GP, Babs has given me the answer as to why I forget many things, specifically that I birthed a small male human 7+ years ago. Apparently forgetting is a side effect of having a boy. My GP was delighted, he’s currently starting to write a paper on it as many people have been pondering for years “why is social media filled with girl mums? Why do so many people forget they have boys?” Gosh silly old me for not figuring it out before, I guess I just forgot! But seriously Babs, YOU might forget about “the boy” but there are lots of insta mummies and daddies who do not forget they have boys and some of them are even your “friends”. This is one narrative rewrite that we’re not buying.
The beauty ad has landed! I repeat, the beauty ad has landed! And it’s with, well I don’t know really, I’ve never heard of them. I was also confused if the grid post was an #ad because she forgot to state that it is an #ad, plus she forgot to use her spellcheck on the caption, nice work Babs, super professional. It’s a subscription service much like fabletics, easy to get into and hard to get out of, the companies have easily identified the Babettes as easy pray who will follow their leader blindly. I went through the Beauty Pie FAQs and it scrambled my brain, no wonder Babs seems confused by it all!
@Lady Doodle has summed up Babs #ad efforts perfectly:
“I actually can't get my breath
Of all the things she's advertised,,,,,,
Active wear when she barely leaves the sofa!
Ocado when she (Ste) shops at Sainsbury’s
Fajita's on a Friday when we all know its Chinese takeaway night (when she's not in DLP
Need i go on,,,, you get my point. She’s a fake. Nothing she advertises is true to herself!!!! And now Beauty
And today on 14/07/20 Babs has finally broken the momentous news that she is moving! Kept quiet due to finding a mortgage and not wanting to shove it in people’s faces due to Covid and the effect it had on others (yeah right Babs, we know you always think of others). Surprisingly she hasn’t blamed the IC20 and “the trollllllssssss” for the upcoming move. She was apparently sold by the large mug cupboard and given that it’s “smaller and nothing like houses we’ve had before” I foresee a change in her USP to a home renovation type - possibly bye bye to bippidyboppitybullshit and a name change? All I definitely know is that @MrsBriggs must be doing cartwheels in the road right now in celebration! I am now taking bets on the number of packing vlogs until the move date and lorries used on the day. Prize for the most accurate guess is a bottle of Malibu. There is so much more I could say to do with the house move but unlike Babs I know when to stop, none of you wants an essay to read.
@Lady Doodle planned out the celebration for @MrsBriggs when Babs finally moves a while ago (#32): “Headbands and Saltwater Sandles are compulsory attire
Too much bronzer is a must
Tropicanna out of Disney mugs and Fajita's for refreshments
Stripey Bunting hanging off the trees
Gary Barlow music playing just for the hell of it
And we'll all end with the Babs Shuffle run
around the park in our Flabletics leggings” We may need to add gift bags from Beauty Pie and a commemorative mug “bye bye Babs” for all attendees too!
Coming soon - Ste gets his own big boy bed and bedroom redecoration vlog, Babs gets a brand new bathroom to tantrum in (I wonder if she measured it for optimum tantrum space, would hate for her to injure herself while she’s lying on the floor kicking and thumping her fists toddler style) and we might finally get some newer content for her to recycle if she does swap to “brummymummyhousereno”. But the one thing we can be absolutely certain of is that she will never stop scratching herself.
Bonus Babs nicknames:
@Good Egg - Babeth Chalmers
@ChickenWine - Bubonic Babs
@GingerWhinger - Emma Condashian
@Grayson - Brum the Builder (can she fix it? No she can’t!)
Brilliant bonus “Brum the Builder” song from @Missymoo92 (you should seriously consider song writing/rewriting as parodies as a career, you could do a book of various parody songs about influencers/celebrities etc) https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-...-pumpkins-its-not-halloween.9255/post-2371676
Oh and one final PSA - Babs apparently has bugs/bug eggs in her bumhole. Enjoy that mental image everyone!
And Thanks for the mentions 
- Status