TLDR - all the best bits of Babs #31
Babs trying to be all self centered by comparing Covid shutdown royally messing up students grades to her back surgery. Why are 18 year olds following her?! She’s not exactly relatable to them! Highly doubt Babs fashion sense makes her the latest trend setter.
Babs used to be head of R.E (at a school that now has no head of R.E, maybe she was so good no one else could live up to her?) so should understand how important this is to students. Showing off her narcissism, if it doesn’t concern “her world” then it’s not important.
Some wonderful reviews of her “reads like a children’s book” of poetry were shared (some thanks to the IC20 super writing skills, see Babs that’s how you write properly!) General consensus that her work is “Cringe, she shouldn’t be releasing a poetry book”.
A Babette obliged her request for a screenshot of her “professionally curled by her pillow hair” and sent it to her for an extra ego boost.
Poor Lucy was scared by the thunder, could see her giving Babs the side eye across the room (socially distancing herself from the variety of Covid germs from Bab’s various destinations) and planning to piss on either the manky blankets or that bear that is so disgusting he could probably get up and walk off to the washing machine by himself.
Trying to pass off packing as tidying. Further explains the very quiet few days. Wondering if Ste will finally get a bedroom of his very own and excited for the room makeover videos that will no doubt happen.
Fabletics sponsored post, featuring hideous prints on her leggings. We never see her in their stuff except for the sponsored posts and it fits her terribly, fire that marketing person who approved this! She REALLY needs to get fitted for a proper bra again, Ste has obviously lost the last one while doing the washing. There was camel “foof” on display, my eyes watered.
Babs “exercise” is questionable, a couple of failed couch to 5ks and an adult dance class doesn’t make her an authority on workout wear. Unless she’s into competitive eating fajitas and period cakes?
Someone needs to buy her a Nat Geo kids book on identifying bugs as she doesn’t know what a grasshopper is. She can use it with BTEC Paul on their daily walks to the playground for him to run off some energy before his nap.
Kids bedtime and she’s sat watching crap reality tv in her dressing gown (I thought it was hot Babs?) while Ste does bedtime because she’s had such a hard day. Clearly no need for divide and conquer today, they must be exhausted from summer camp. No sign of manky blankets, hoping they’ve been burnt but suspect they have been packed.
Question of the day, would Babs cope as a single parent if Ste upped and left her for his bit of Brighton beef?
France added to quarantine list. Babs is an idiot for spreading germs. No mention on her stories of French quarantine and her sadness for those who are now losing their DLP holidays due to it/school.
Babs is counting down until she can shove the kids off at school every day to be rid of them with no judgement. Early predictions of her anxiety coming back are showing up at 2/1 with high chances of “can’t wait to sniff them” and “rabid to go pick them up” also occurring.
The pit of doom is starting to look a bit bare, signs of packing and the mystery move possibly? She’ll probably do a YouTube video packing her precious mugs, imagine if the movers broke one, she’d have a (new house) shower tantrum and try to get them fired. Also likely to be paying movers to do majority of packing for her because it’d eat into her precious tv time.
Wondering how she will announce the move and if the clearly highly threatening IC20 will be blamed for making her “feel unsafe”. Babette’s may feel lied to by her massive omission about selling and buying a new house, could a revolt be coming?
The kids appear to have vanished. She’s either farming them out to grandparents so she can pack or she’s found some sort of holiday sleepover camp because she’s the hardest working person in the UK.
The IC20 need to club together and get her a dictionary as well as a bug identification book. She’s learning to “propergate” plants. Maybe crazy plant lady is her new USP.
A super excited and groundbreaking video of Poundland hauls for starting back at school awaits us coming soon. But given Covid and schools being super strict, it’s kind of irrelevant. And primary kids don’t tend to use Zebra pens or cute highlighters. Pencils only until they get their handwriting license (I’m still waiting for mine, only left hander in a class of 30 for the win).
Babs used her baps to hold 2 dog toys. She jiggled about a bit to “Who let the dogs out?” And gave the IC20 a nod at the end of the clip. Poor Lucy then dragged her toys to the garden and buried them, never to be seen again.
Babs bap bouncing bonanza reeks of desperation and her afternoon wine. She added to her grid but turned off comments as her mental health is fragile and only arse kissing is allowed (the rules say so).
Babs jumped onto the next bandwagon of face swap with Kate Winslet.
@Missymoo92 summed it up best: “im just grateful it wasn't the naked couch scene from titanic.. imagine Babs
"Steeee paint me like one of them french girls from DLP... Steeee!" *Hand under chin and gurning*”
Never knew candles or cinnamon rolls could be sexual until Babs showed me the light. What’s next, a kettle with curvaceous sides? Someone needs to buy this woman a vibrator.
She’s been quiet overall this week, definitely packing all her precious mugs away carefully. And writing her excuses for moving. “There is a troll who lives down my road, I felt unsafe, the police did nothing, we HAD to move *sob sniff sob*”
Cute doggy photos, taken the day before. Pics of everyone but Ethan with the cute puppy. Also not pictured: Lucy planning on warning the puppy to keep a close eye on her toys lest they vanish under Babs baps.
Another Ad, this time for Savlon. Featuring manky teddy (careful he doesn’t fall apart when you take that dressing off Babs!)
Babs could use her platform for charity, especially given Erin’s surgery, but doesn’t (apart from the mugs but she put the price of them up to cover it).
Her story encouraging people to click to see her grid post makes you click on her fanny to go there. Not child friendly. If it was a bloke there’d be outcry but because it’s “just Babs being Babs” it’s ok apparently.
IT’S A MIRACLE HER BACK IS HEALED! She can jump again. Must have been the Savlon.
Referred to herself as the “Beyoncé of Birmingham”, one Babette added that “Beyoncé has nothing on you.... in fact she would be jealous!” So there we have it Qween Conway has ousted Beyoncé as Queen of everything. We are so not ready for her jelly (which is like pork pie jelly).
Debate over what she keeps in her giant bumbag when “running”. Most votes for Ste’s dignity (and his balls), the kid’s souls and a hip flask.
Brighton vlog went up. Much screechy voice, getting Brighton Pavilion’s name wrong, moaning about pebbles and an appearance of a washing machine at their apartment (so why the hell did she need to showcase their pants drying on the nice bath?!)
She thought she’d invented a word “clodhoppers”. Good thing she didn’t phone the dictionary people as it’s a well known word to pretty much everyone.
Babs celebrated 500k views of her video of her airing out her “foof”. Why this is something to celebrate I don’t know. Hopefully the views are of a large amount of people watching it and laughing at her and forwarding to their friends and saying “what planet is she on?”.
Babs selective memory is in action again, first post op appointment for Erin, supposedly the one they’ve already had and zoom ones don’t count? Highly doubtful she’ll tell them about the rollercoasters and trampolining. Why is she so excited about a hospital appointment with bloody Covid still raging? Obviously flicked the “off” switch on her anxiety. Counting down until school starts and she can day drink freely again.
More sodding plants. Her house is starting to look like a garden centre. Well and truly chasing after the indoor plant bandwagon.
@Memmy summed it up best: “Plants has been a thing for a while, she's slow, very slow. I actually imagine the bandwagon driving away with a rope trailing behind and Babs scrambles to grab the end of the rope to catch that trend. She's dragged through the dusty desert, she might even receive a succulent or two to the face.”
In a Babs-centric world the kids seem to be wheeled out as and when. Today they were wheeled out to play in the rain and give her an excuse to put herself and them all in their pjs at 4pm. Poor Ethan is allowed limited camera time (told to hurry up frequently, let the poor kid speak!) but “my girl” is allowed more time to shine but Babs still needs to be the star.
How many vans will it take to move them? One for Disney crap, one for mugs, one for Halloween/Easter/Christmas “decorations”, one for plants, one for her ego (with a tiny box for Ste’s balls) and one for shitwater sandals, jumpsuits and headbands.
Birmingham is at risk of another lockdown. Babs likely to breakdown if she has to homeschool. She doesn’t realise how lucky she is that she only suffered the minor inconvenience of lockdown and homeschooling compared to thousands others who lost jobs, homes, businesses and loved ones, amongst other ways people were affected.
Morning pit stories feature an empty wall behind her bed, packing is obviously going great. Also she “sorted” her stripy t-shirts to try and hide the fact she’s packing.
Shared her and Ste’s messages, he calls her Monk, we are unsure exactly why and so is she apparently. Please see
@chipstick fantastic photo post on #31 page 50.
Babs has raging PMS. Ready the fleet of period cakes!
Bonus Babs nicknames:
@Noseybugger- Babima Whitbread
And lucky Babs! She gets a ‘This Is Your Life’ style write-up on a near weekly basis. She should be flattered!
In both Disney and Brighton you don’t actually see any of the sights. 
And making him store his clothes downstairs any passerby could see when he's changing...risky.
