Break up 💔

[Hope96]

*sorry if this is triggering for anyone*

I'm in absolute emotional agony and I have been for over two weeks. I don't really have many people to turn to nor do I have a lot to distract myself with. I feel consumed with grief and every option right now doesn't seem to make sense to me. I'm scared of making the wrong move but I feel like I need to do something. I am reaching out for some advice/support on here because I know people will be unbiased as possible. I just ask people to be kind even if I don't feel like I deserve it right now.

My boyfriend of over two years broke up with me two weeks ago this Wednesday by leaving my belongings from his flat outside my parent's doorstep in the rain before 7:30AM with a brief WhatsApp message saying he can't do it anymore and not to turn up to his flat because he won't be there. He thanked me for the good times and said he would speak to me once over the phone. He drove to his mum's house so I couldn't turn up to his to persuade him to change his mind on the day. It seems that everyone knew what was going to happen besides me. He went to his mum's the day before and spoke to her about this. He told me that he had informed her about people in my family being unkind to me, that we've been fighting a lot and he wasn't happy. He knew I was speaking to his mum on the Tuesday and I told him it was nice being able to speak to her more as both her and I are quite shy. We have been fighting a lot in the past several months, I've lashed out (I'll regret it to my dying day if I'm honest because I am deeply ashamed of it as I've never done that before) and we had a horrific fight on the Sunday night prior to Wednesday which became physical. He was not in a forgiving mood and did not want to talk before he took me home. It may sound childish but he promised me he wouldn't break up with me.

Sunday made me realise things had to change because I've been stuck in a rut which has destroyed who I am and affected my relationship with him. I contracted covid, I am suffering from long covid and other health conditions as a result of it. It turned me into an absolutely terrified, jealous, demanding and controlling person which I am ashamed of but the fear of getting sick again spilled into every aspect of my life. We had awful arguments about the things I didn't want him doing but after Sunday I was ready to make concessions for him. I reached out for mental health support for an existing MH condition which I know took its toll on him and I sadly self harmed and said I was going to kill myself in front of him. On Sunday when he got home he told me he still loved me a lot and I thought we would be able to talk properly on Wednesday when I would next see him.

We spoke on the Monday and he informed me that the scratch on his neck was still bleeding in the morning. The sad thing is he said on Wednesday that every time his neck hurt he realises how much he doesn't like me (if I recall correctly) but if I mention the pain his retaliation has caused me he's dismissed it a fair bit because I've started it. I told him that I had reached out for help because I want to be better for us and I am extremely sorry about my behaviour. He wasn't himself but I didn't expect him to be but I just didn't think he would break up with me. I feel so stupid. He said he wasn't sure about meeting me on Wednesday but I asked him if he could just see me for a few hours and that we could skip seeing each other on Friday. On Tuesday he went to cricket training and said if I didn't say yes to it he'll just lie to me... I can't stand lies and he's sadly lied to me and kept things from me many times before but insists they were over small things which shouldn't bother me. It is one of the reasons why I have struggled to trust him. The lack of trust and jealously hasn't simply been created in my head for no reason but I'm trying not to blame him because I know we've both hurt each other.

Fast forward to Tuesday again he said he will see me for a bit on Wednesday but it was a shame that he wasn't looking forward to seeing me much anymore. I said that made me sad but I really wanted to start working on making things better. I had a big list of things that I wanted to speak to him about in person. Essentially it was going to be about the support I have reached out for and all the things I wanted him to start doing because I knew I had to try letting us both live more. Covid has taken so much and I wanted to regain control and try to go back to the person I was. Sadly he had no intentions of meeting me and I should have probably worked that out he said good night early on Tuesday night to pack my stuff. We had a talk on the phone after he dumped my stuff and drove to his mum on the Wednesday. It wasn't very productive because he didn't want to listen to what I had to say. He made it clear his mum and friends knew before me which is hurtful. I pleaded with him to see it as a break which we probably have needed but I've been scared to let it happen because he is all I have really. He is the person I went to with good and bad news. I can't do that anymore. He said he didn't want me turning up to his to persuade me because I can be very persuasive. He threatened the police on me if I turned up to his and that he'll log all the times I turn up as it'll amount to stalking or harassment. He ended the phone call on me because I apparently wasn't being reasonable (for once I actually was being reasonable but he didn't want to hear what I was saying) and he said he wasn't going to have a day off work for this which is exactly what you want to hear.

We messaged a little on the day and I said please can you just see it as a break and we meet up for a drink in a few weeks so we can talk about everything in person after some time out. He kept changing his answer from "if you can stick to not repeating the same things and not turn up I'll consider meeting up in a few weeks but if you can't then it'll show I've made the right decision and it'll be an instant block" or it won't be for "many weeks".

He said I could send him one long message as I said I wanted to because I had no other choice. He's not willing to speak to me over the phone and going to his could really wind him up. My long message consisted of really apologising for my behaviour, reflecting on it, putting forwards the plans/ideas I was going to speak to him about and pleading for a final chance because I love and care for him so much. He replied back saying he won't be changing his mind even though I am getting help and willing to make concessions. He also said it's not one of those situations where we will get back together because my last chance was in Jan when he tried breaking up with me over email, he doesn't want to play the blame game but my behaviour was the fundamental issue, he's relieved it is over, he's happy to be my friend and wants to remain on good terms and that he'll possibly meet me for a drink after the 17th May as a farewell and to return things he may have forgotten. Naturally this message broke my heart and I didn't reply back for a few days and replied back this Tuesday essentially asking him to not give up on me as a person and to see the changes in person. I explained why things didn't change as much in Jan but tried to ensure I wasn't excusing my behaviour. I went to explain how heartbroken and sad I am that when I'm getting myself out of this rut he doesn't want to give me a chance to prove myself. I'm even prepared to do everything on his terms which probably does make me sound desperate. I've asked him to give me a day and time because I do want to meet even if it does break my heart further.

I've had brief relationships in the past and when they've not worked out I've just moved onto the next person but I can't do this with him. He's my first love and best friend. He said I was the same to him and I keep hoping he'll message me but he hasn't. I know he's keeping himself busy with his sporting hobbies and probably will be meeting others from Monday onwards.

I don't know what to do because my heart is telling me to go to his flat and hope for the best but my head is saying what if I make it worse. I don't know when to message him about the drink but all I want is another chance to show him the changes I've tried putting in place whilst feeling emotionally drained. I understand you never know what others are thinking and feeling but I reckon he's doing ok which makes me feel really bad.

I've realised in the past year or so I've become dependent on him due to my poor health and being scared of covid. I've gone to several appointments on my own this week including my second covid vaccine and it was a horrible experience. I feel like all the plans we had for the summer have been snatched away from me. Maybe I'm being deluded and not letting myself accept what's happening but I keep thinking he'll be open to something. I know he'll be talking about this to others and doubt I'll be spoken about in a positive light.

I don't even know if I've included useful information but I just don't know what to do. It's taken me everything to not turn up to his but I'm concerned my fight for him and us hasn't been enough over message. I've barely been eating, drinking and sleeping. I had to go into hospital nearly two weeks ago for dehydration and for my mental health. I've lost over a stone and all I seem to do is cry pretty much everyday waiting for him to message me.

I keep checking his last seen and if he's not been on for hours I worry something has happened to me but I doubt he cares about me right now. He knows exactly how I will be feeling and perhaps I'm being selfish but I just so desperately want him to reach out. I feel like no matter what I do I'm making things easier for him but I am really trying to be respectful by not turning up at his or calling him.

I don't even know if what I've typed makes sense and whether I've included the right things. I just feel lost and nothing is making me feel better. I have nothing to look forward to and none of my friends are interested in talking to me. My mum has tried her best but I have no one else and nor do I have a lot to do. I had two weeks or so left of my sick leave when he did it and I think I've made myself more sick. He used to ask me how I was every single day and it'll be 3 weeks on Sunday since I last saw him. I miss him so much.

 

[Nosebag20]

That was a very sad read and a lot of information to take in. I truly hope you are OK and that you continue to seek support for your mental health as that should be your main focus right now.
He has made his feelings clear that he is done with this relationship and to be honest I can see why, once things get physical and violent there really is not much chance of coming back from that, a line has been crossed.
Heartbreak is a real tough pain to go through but you really need to get better physically and mentally to enable you to be able to form positive healthy relationships in the future.
Please ensure you speak to someone when you are feeling low and do not suffer alone.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I think he did the right thing for both of you. Take the time to focus on yourself and get the help and support you need.

 

[lisa94xo]

Take each day at a time. I know you're not well, but do you have anything that you can do for you, for self care? You're the most important person in your life - I think you really need to focus on yourself right now and getting better, mentally and physically. It sounds like a lot has happened between you and your ex - and to be honest, it doesn't sound from what you've said like it was a very healthy or happy relationship? You say you don't trust him, and trust is the most fundamental aspect of a relationship. It's also common to glamourize relationships when they break down, but you've both gotten to this point for a reason - the fighting, the lying on his part, the lack of trust... Maybe this has happened to you to help you recognise what mistakes you've made with your first love, and focus on healing and moving forward with your life. It's not easy, and it's scary when things don't work out like you want to, but you can't make him change his mind - you can only control what actions you make. I hope you take time for self care and reflection - it'll be really helpful for you.

 

[Hope96]

That was a very sad read and a lot of information to take in. I truly hope you are OK and that you continue to seek support for your mental health as that should be your main focus right now.
He has made his feelings clear that he is done with this relationship and to be honest I can see why, once things get physical and violent there really is not much chance of coming back from that, a line has been crossed.
Heartbreak is a real tough pain to go through but you really need to get better physically and mentally to enable you to be able to form positive healthy relationships in the future.
Please ensure you speak to someone when you are feeling low and do not suffer alone.

Thank you for your reply and in all honesty I am not ok but I bought it upon myself by not thinking of the repercussions of my actions which I didn't consider at the time. I'm not blaming him for what he's done because I really do care for him and violence is not ok. I feel like a truly dreadful person and it's worse when saying the words out aloud. I don't know what'll achieve by meeting him for a drink but I feel like I need it? He said he's happy to be my friend and wants to stay on good terms but his actions at the moment aren't really suggesting that.
I just don't want to ever fall in love again because this hurts more than I can handle.
I'm trying not to suffer alone but I truly do feel it. I want to message him and ask if he will meet me for a drink to pick up the rest of my stuff and speak but I am not convinced he wants that even though he said it.

Take each day at a time. I know you're not well, but do you have anything that you can do for you, for self care? You're the most important person in your life - I think you really need to focus on yourself right now and getting better, mentally and physically. It sounds like a lot has happened between you and your ex - and to be honest, it doesn't sound from what you've said like it was a very healthy or happy relationship? You say you don't trust him, and trust is the most fundamental aspect of a relationship. It's also common to glamourize relationships when they break down, but you've both gotten to this point for a reason - the fighting, the lying on his part, the lack of trust... Maybe this has happened to you to help you recognise what mistakes you've made with your first love, and focus on healing and moving forward with your life. It's not easy, and it's scary when things don't work out like you want to, but you can't make him change his mind - you can only control what actions you make. I hope you take time for self care and reflection - it'll be really helpful for you.

Thank you for your reply. I'm sure there's a lot that I can do for myself right now but I can't seem to do it. I wanted to work with him in re to the trust but he doesn't want to anymore. Like I've said I don't blame him but I hate the way he did it. I hate the false hope I was given. I've tried my best to make sure I am not trying to change his mind. I've definitely asked for a chance and for him to see the changes I've made and want to make. I know I'm not entitled to that but it would be nice. I've been self reflecting since that horrible Sunday and I've realised a lot. I'm scared. I'm all alone and I have nothing to look forward to. I know my post probably makes me sound like a truly awful person but I really wasn't like this pre covid. He's convinced that everything that happened between us would have if there was no such thing as covid.

I think he did the right thing for both of you. Take the time to focus on yourself and get the help and support you need.

Thank you for your reply. Perhaps he did but at the moment it doesn't like that for me. I'm trying to get the help and support I need but sadly each day has been a struggle. I hate myself for the issues I've caused and losing someone so special to me.

 

[Gembo]

I don’t have any real advice but I didn’t want to read and run. I recognise so much of what you’re going through from the first break up I went through, not exactly the same but a lot of similar themes and I felt just like you. It’s still one of the worst times of my life, I couldn’t function at all and became so ill, the pain was indescribable. I would feel so sick I would throw up when he refused to answer my calls or replied to my texts and I thought I would never be ok again

I just want you to know that you will be ok, you will survive this. What you are experiencing is a form of grief so be gentle with yourself. Take your time, cry, eat, scream, keep reaching out for help. No one knows what the future holds but you will be happy again. When this initial pain wears off focus on yourself, do things you love doing and work on being the person you want to be. Maybe one day you
l reunite and maybe one day you won’t but you’ll only really be happy when you can get yourself into a better place. I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug, what you’re feeling is normal, you will be ok xx

 

[LaurieLaurie]

It doesn’t feel like it now but things will get better. Maybe you’ll get back together once things improve for you or maybe you’ll realise you want something else.

Two years ago I was heartbroken and all I did was hide in bed and cry in the bath and then I slowly started to feel better. It killed me at the time but I learnt so much from it that I use in relationships now.

 

[Georgethecat]

Block him on WhatsApp, stop checking his last seen, stop messaging him. You need to focus on yourself and getting better, reflect on why it always escalated so much . A toxic relationship of mistrust and violence isn't something you should go back to, it sounds like a very volatile situation that wasn't doing either of you any favours. You need to be on your own and focus on yourself and your life, you can still look forward to summer, you won't be constantly worrying he's lying to you which will have attributed to your poor mental health and flying off the handle at him. Sounds like he's done you a favour, you need alto find a new focus, maybe read some books? Meet some friends ? Make some sort of plan that doesn't involve him.. just one step at a time but first of all just block him, he dumped your stuff in the rain and finished it by text, not worth it.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I think if you do meet him you need to be in a good place first or it will just make things worse so just wait and don’t rush into it.

People hate to feel bombarded so give him space and just focus on yourself and feeling better.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Leave him alone. The relationship is over. It was toxic and you were violent towards him. It had to end. He has done the right thing. You need help, professional help and lots of it before you ever entertain the idea of ever getting involved with another person ever again. Please just leave him alone now - for his sake and yours, you need to stay away from him completely, both physically and online. It’s over.

 

[Hope96]

Leave him alone. The relationship is over. It was toxic and you were violent towards him. It had to end. He has done the right thing. You need help, professional help and lots of it before you ever entertain the idea of ever getting involved with another person ever again. Please just leave him alone now - for his sake and yours, you need to stay away from him completely, both physically and online. It’s over.

I am happy to read other people's perspectives on what I have posted and I understand they may not be very sympathetic. Please bear in mind I have not typed everything that was the issue for both. More than anything I've explained everything I have done wrong. I do not condone violence and I'm deeply ashamed of lashing out as I've never behaved like this. I do not wish to play the blame game and that's one of the reasons why I've not spoken about his actions in a great deal. I find your response a bit aggressive and upsetting considering the fragile state I am in. It doesn't cost anything to be slightly kind when someone has taken responsibility for their actions. I know exactly the help I require and I have been seeking it before he left my belongings outside the doorstep. I have no desire to get myself into another relationship any time soon but I do not need you telling me what I should do or can't do in the manner you have. I have not messaged him constantly or turned up to his so I have left him alone for the most part. I'm not one to comment on another person's post like this but I'm not going to have someone make me feel worse than I already am considering where I am mentally because I often do let people do that which isn't beneficial for me. Thank you for taking the time to respond though.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I honestly think he’s done you a favour by ending things. It sounds very toxic on both sides yes you were violent, but he also seems like he’s stringing you along a bit, one minute he’s giving you hope then changing his mind.

I know it might not feel like it now but I promise you your heart will heal. I personally would block him on everything and wouldn’t reopen the wound by meeting up with him again.

I’m not condoning what you did but I think you need be more gentle with yourself, it sounds like you need to be your priority at the moment.

 

[tab83xx]

It sounds as if the relationship became very toxic which isn’t good for both parties. Use this time alone to help yourself hun. We all go through heartache at some point in our lives some more than once so please don’t think it’s only you.

A relationship is like a fart, if forced it’s usually tit.

it don’t seem like it at the time but him leaving maybe a blessing in disguise

take care x

 

[Hope96]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I honestly think he’s done you a favour by ending things. It sounds very toxic on both sides yes you were violent, but he also seems like he’s stringing you along a bit, one minute he’s giving you hope then changing his mind.

I know it might not feel like it now but I promise you your heart will heal. I personally would block him on everything and wouldn’t reopen the wound by meeting up with him again.

I’m not condoning what you did but I think you need be more gentle with yourself, it sounds like you need to be your priority at the moment.

Thank you for your kind reply. This won't really help things but we both did lash out but I don't want to make myself look like the innocent party here because I won't get anything from it. Accepting my part is more important to me than talking about what he did to me in re lashing out. I thought there was a glimmer of hope but now I'm not so sure. There are things of mine he hasn't returned and I don't have a third party to pick them up for me sadly. I don't urgently need them but some of them have sentimental value. I'm not sure what I would get out of meeting him for a drink but it is something he isn't against. I know everyone says time is the biggest healer but I never imagined my life out of lockdown without him. I feel ashamed and guilty of my role because I don't recognise myself from the things I said and did which is heartbreaking it in itself.

I've never been very good at blocking people and I don't know if I have the heart to do but I know I need to not check his seen. I'm a worrier by nature and I still am worrying about him but I don't have the right to message him to see if he's got to places ok.

It sounds as if the relationship became very toxic which isn’t good for both parties. Use this time alone to help yourself hun. We all go through heartache at some point in our lives some more than once so please don’t think it’s only you.

A relationship is like a fart, if forced it’s usually tit.

it don’t seem like it at the time but him leaving maybe a blessing in disguise

take care x

Thank you for your response and kind words. I guess you never realise how hard heartbreak is until you're in the situation itself. I'm trying to help myself re my mental health and I'm being quite persistent with making show I don't get lost in the system as I have in the past year. I just wish I could bring myself to look after my physical health too. I feel like absolute tit.

I think if you do meet him you need to be in a good place first or it will just make things worse so just wait and don’t rush into it.

People hate to feel bombarded so give him space and just focus on yourself and feeling better.

I just don't know whether I should ask him again because there are things I need from him (nothing urgently though) but I am concerned he'll change his mind about meeting which he can. I just want that final meeting even if it does break my heart all over again. Not sure why I want to go through that but it's how I feel right now.

 

[littlepup]

I’m afraid, if you turned this around and you were the man and he the woman it would be textbook abusive, controlling, narcissistic behaviour. He’s made his position very clear and he’s been pretty reasonable too. I don’t believe that he has given you false hope in stringing you along, I think he sounds like a decent guy who has caved slightly because you’ve continued to pressure him. Maybe because he doesn’t want to hurt you more or maybe because you’ve self-harmed and threatened suicide. He’s clearly said he doesn’t want to discuss it further, you have to respect and accept that for now.

I understand you feel that there are changes you can make and if only he knew he might change his mind but do you honestly think that you can commit 100% to those changes? Ongoing it’s unlikely If you don’t trust him and you’d only be forcing an unnatural situation where you can’t be yourself.

Console yourself with that thought that if you’re truly meant to be together, you will. Maybe not right away but if you’re really truly the right people for each other you’ll find a way back together eventually. In the mean time work on the issues that you’ve identified and do it for yourself, not because you think it will get him back, concentrate on getting yourself well.

 

[Wowitsme]

I’m afraid, if you turned this around and you were the man and he the woman it would be textbook abusive, controlling, narcissistic behaviour. He’s made his position very clear and he’s been pretty reasonable too. I don’t believe that he has given you false hope in stringing you along, I think he sounds like a decent guy who has caved slightly because you’ve continued to pressure him. Maybe because he doesn’t want to hurt you more or maybe because you’ve self-harmed and threatened suicide. He’s clearly said he doesn’t want to discuss it further, you have to respect and accept that for now.

I understand you feel that there are changes you can make and if only he knew he might change his mind but do you honestly think that you can commit 100% to those changes? Ongoing it’s unlikely If you don’t trust him and you’d only be forcing an unnatural situation where you can’t be yourself.

Console yourself with that thought that if you’re truly meant to be together, you will. Maybe not right away but if you’re really truly the right people for each other you’ll find a way back together eventually. In the mean time work on the issues that you’ve identified and do it for yourself, not because you think it will get him back, concentrate on getting yourself well.

Actually I totally agree with this. The fact he has to basically ask permission to play/go to cricket was a bit concerning.

However, I think you are doing the right thing in seeking help for yourself. This will enable you to have a happy and healthy relationship.

Break ups are really tough, I have endured a few that felt like they were breaking me. Time does help and so does self care. Just take it one day at a time

 

[Scorpihoe]

Wow that was a lot to take in, I’m sorry for how you feel Heartbreaks aren’t easy. But I know a few things that really help me include some serious retail therapy, I also throw myself into new projects (I don’t feel like doing them but I force myself) and I do a lot of cleaning lol. Maybe try those? There’s also heartbreak threads on Reddit so you can talk to people going through similar stuff

I know how you feel though. When I’m heartbroken it feels like time is passing by so slowly and I’m just trying to kill time before my ex messaged me.

I just want to say though, as much as you want to see him/text him/call him DONT! Because he might be serious about that police threat and that, coupled with his neck injury could land you into very serious trouble.

Was he physically violent towards you too? Or just you, to him? Sorry I’m not being judgey, I’m just curious because your post didn’t really specify

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Cut all contact and sort your head out. It sounded like a toxic relationship. Turning violent, from either party, is a huge red flag.

Focus on getting yourself secure and healthy. Break ups are hard, but look at the bigger picture. Violence, self harm & threats of suicide; you need to get yourself well.p

 

[Scorpihoe]

Actually I totally agree with this. The fact he has to basically ask permission to play/go to cricket was a bit concerning.

I’m a bit confused at this bit, did he ask OP if he could go to cricket or if he could rearrange their meeting to another day as he had cricket?

 

[Hope96]

I’m afraid, if you turned this around and you were the man and he the woman it would be textbook abusive, controlling, narcissistic behaviour. He’s made his position very clear and he’s been pretty reasonable too. I don’t believe that he has given you false hope in stringing you along, I think he sounds like a decent guy who has caved slightly because you’ve continued to pressure him. Maybe because he doesn’t want to hurt you more or maybe because you’ve self-harmed and threatened suicide. He’s clearly said he doesn’t want to discuss it further, you have to respect and accept that for now.

I understand you feel that there are changes you can make and if only he knew he might change his mind but do you honestly think that you can commit 100% to those changes? Ongoing it’s unlikely If you don’t trust him and you’d only be forcing an unnatural situation where you can’t be yourself.

Console yourself with that thought that if you’re truly meant to be together, you will. Maybe not right away but if you’re really truly the right people for each other you’ll find a way back together eventually. In the mean time work on the issues that you’ve identified and do it for yourself, not because you think it will get him back, concentrate on getting yourself well.

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate everyone will have their perspective but I'm really not a narcissistic person but I agree lashing out should not be celebrated. I would like to say in normal times I am a kind and caring person who is more rational than I have been during an extremely tough time in my life. Please don't see this as condoning my behaviour and perhaps I should have included both of our actions for people to make a fair assumption but I didn't want anyone to think I was blaming him. He was in my support bubble and I became extremely unwell with covid last year. In hindsight I could have been more rational but I was so terrified to the point I was crying everyday because I felt like I was on my death bed when I became very poorly with covid. I became more demanding with what my family and him in re to what they were doing because they were in close contact with me. They all had more of a liberal attitude which is certainly allowed but I was petrified that I would get covid again or my health conditions which I developed as a result of covid complications would be made worse if I became unwell. I'm still very poorly but I waa blinded by fear rather than facts. I've not had much of a life and being an very anxious person in a pandemic hasn't helped me or my relationships.

I would like to just clarify that he didn't have to ask for permission to play cricket or go to training because that means a lot to him. For that particular Tuesday he had said he wasn't planning on going and that he would speak to me later on in the evening. He went back on that after our fight on Sunday and said he would lie about working late if I didn't say yes to him going and us not talking on the phone. We always did try to compromise on other things but I realised I just had to let him determine his own risk in the end. It was sadly too late.

It would be nice for people to not question whether I will be sticking to the changes being made because I will as I've realised what I've done wrong. I know I need to take action because I want to be that kind and caring person more consistently. Thank you for the little piece of advice at the end.

Wow that was a lot to take in, I’m sorry for how you feel Heartbreaks aren’t easy. But I know a few things that really help me include some serious retail therapy, I also throw myself into new projects (I don’t feel like doing them but I force myself) and I do a lot of cleaning lol. Maybe try those? There’s also heartbreak threads on Reddit so you can talk to people going through similar stuff

I know how you feel though. When I’m heartbroken it feels like time is passing by so slowly and I’m just trying to kill time before my ex messaged me.

I just want to say though, as much as you want to see him/text him/call him DONT! Because he might be serious about that police threat and that, coupled with his neck injury could land you into very serious trouble.

Was he physically violent towards you too? Or just you, to him? Sorry I’m not being judgey, I’m just curious because your post didn’t really specify

Thank you very much for your suggestions and I will certainly try to find something that I can try to occupy myself with.

I've actually tried to be respectful and to make I don't make things worse by not doing the things he asked since he replied back to me last week.

Thank you for not being judgey but I know everyone will have their thoughts and opinions. Yes to your question but my post was more to do with my behaviour.