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Well hello everybody - welcome back to Best Life and Beyond. I just got off the Matterhorn for the 93rd time and I‘m not sure if you knew this, but I am contractually obligated by Disney Parks to say both “Yoo” and “Whoa” anytime I’m on one of the faster moving rides here at the Magic Kingdom. It ensures that those around me understand I am an elder here, and nobody is having more fun than me.
With that little matter out of the way, we are so excited to be back in the park for the reopening of everyone’s unanimously least favorite ride, the submarines! KT & I didn’t ride this very often in the past on account of her being afraid of it and me being afraid of her - but we thought we’d give it a spin for old timer’s sake. …Old time‘s sake. Sorry about that. Freudian slip.
With respect to yet another of KT’s phobias, she decided to wait for me in the Finding Nemo drunk tank where you get to watch the whole ride on a TV. While you do miss the boring, claustrophobic adventure that only a ride in a fake submarine can provide, it‘s still legit cuz the drunk tank has Air-Co.
Now that we’ve given you the entire history and POV of a ride that you never cared about in the first place, it’s time to celebrate the return of another long, skinny, and dull staple here at the Disneyland Resort. If you guessed Dylan, you are incorrect. Today we’re going to indulge in a little breakfast treat in the form of French toast sticks!
Listen as KT makes a sexual utterance while dipping her first stick in the high fructose corn syrup maple-flavored food product, and watch in awe as she once again knows it’s the greatest thing she’s ever tasted the millisecond it crosses the threshold of her teeth, aka “The Grey Stuff”.
Ok that’s all for now. Thanks for watching, Besties. Please send your thoughts & prayers and light a candle by the window to will the universe into bringing back our beloved Magic Keys. Cuz without them, we are F*#cked.
Bye bye everybody!