Being flirted with when already in a relationship...

[KawaiiSloth]

A new male friend keeps saying he's really jealous of my boyfriend and that I'd make a perfect girlfriend.

It has started playing on my mind, because I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend and would not cheat on him. But I can't stop thinking about how things could have played out with this male friend if I were single right now, because we have a good connection. I feel so guilty for even thinking about this though .

Does anyone have advice, or have been in a similar situation before?

 

[Definitelyme]

A new male friend keeps saying he's really jealous of my boyfriend and that I'd make a perfect girlfriend.

It has started playing on my mind, because I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend and would not cheat on him. But I can't stop thinking about how things could have played out with this male friend if I were single right now, because we have a good connection. I feel so guilty for even thinking about this though .

Does anyone have advice, or have been in a similar situation before?

My advice would be either to stop seeing this guy, if he is a new friend it’s not a huge loss, or tell him very clearly that it’s not gonna happen.

I think everyone is flattered by flirting, and it’s natural sometimes for you to daydream of scenarios with other people, even if totally content in your relationship.

But he isn’t being very fair to you by putting you in an awkward position (which you should also tell him)

 

[BettyCrocker]

A new male friend keeps saying he's really jealous of my boyfriend and that I'd make a perfect girlfriend.

It has started playing on my mind, because I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend and would not cheat on him. But I can't stop thinking about how things could have played out with this male friend if I were single right now, because we have a good connection. I feel so guilty for even thinking about this though .

Does anyone have advice, or have been in a similar situation before?

this “new” friend ISNT friend! He quite clearly wants in your pants. Tell him to jog on.

 

[at-the-disco]

I think it's really disrespectful for him to be saying these things to you whilst you are in a relationship. Based off this he doesn't really sound like a good guy? it's not worth even fantasising over.

similar thing happened to me, happy in a relationship and the guy i was seeing before came back BEGGING for me to dump my bf and be with him instead. it rubbed me the wrong way because its hugely disrespectful and messing with your feelings.

 

[Ohchristmastree]

I agree with all of the above, also, just to add I would also tell my boyfriend. I always think honesty is the best policy and even though nothing has happened or will happen, you don’t want it to come out in the future. Just my opinion

 

[Isa Drennan]

Anytime he says these things imagine your partner is right there! He sounds like a twit, I would speak to your partner honestly about the guy, cut your losses with the friendship or have a friendship where you maintain boundaries

It doesn’t sound like the “friend” has any respect at all for your relationship

 

[Scorpihoe]

I would tell your boyfriend immediately. This guy doesn’t sound like a friend at all. If he was, he would respect your relationship

 

[Noseyposey101]

If you are happy with your fella, give the new guy a wide berth. The grass is greener where you water it.

 

[Alexaj]

A new male friend keeps saying he's really jealous of my boyfriend and that I'd make a perfect girlfriend.

It has started playing on my mind, because I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend and would not cheat on him. But I can't stop thinking about how things could have played out with this male friend if I were single right now, because we have a good connection. I feel so guilty for even thinking about this though .

Does anyone have advice, or have been in a similar situation before?

I wouldn't beat yourself up for indulging in a little fantasy, as long as your sensible enough to realise the fantasy would not be the reality!

 

[Babyyoda88]

In the past (people don’t say it so much to me anymore ) but I had a few men say this to me (one when I was at uni, one who was a relative of someone I went to school with, and one who went to school with my then boyfriend) and they were all slime balls. I don’t think a respectful guy would say that to a girl tbh and I wouldn’t trust them as far as I could throw them. But that’s just me x

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Would you be happy with a new female friend flirting with your boyfriend?

This sounds like the start of cheating. He’s clearly turned your head and you’re flattered blah blah. Cut off contact or dump your boyfriend.

 

[37BBL]

I have had this happen to me. Although it wasn't a friend and was a colleague.

At first I was flattered by the attention but that soon wears off when you realise the situation they are putting you in. I will admit that I did have a few 'what if' scenarios in my head, but ultimately I knew this guy was a bit of a sleaze to be honest. I had to be quite firm in the end that nothing would or could happen. We still have to be colleagues and its quite awkward now, he still makes the odd comment which could be seen as inappropriate but I think his personality is a bit arrogant like that.

I think just be straight with him. If he persists then cut off contact, if you don't have to see him and if it makes you feel awkward then close it down.

 

[ClockworkDolly]

A new male friend keeps saying he's really jealous of my boyfriend and that I'd make a perfect girlfriend.

It has started playing on my mind, because I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend and would not cheat on him. But I can't stop thinking about how things could have played out with this male friend if I were single right now, because we have a good connection. I feel so guilty for even thinking about this though .

Does anyone have advice, or have been in a similar situation before?

He is no friend of yours. He wants to shag you.

Stick to your fella, ditch this fake friend.

 

[AnnaLee]

Some good advice here so far. The only thing I would add - even if you weren’t happy with your boyfriend and things were coming to a natural end, you do not want to get involved with your friend. A guy who will openly flirt with a woman who is in a relationship is not the kind of person you want to be with. If he does that with you, he will do it with other women.

 

[Babyyoda88]

Some good advice here so far. The only thing I would add - even if you weren’t happy with your boyfriend and things were coming to a natural end, you do not want to get involved with your friend. A guy who will openly flirt with a woman who is in a relationship is not the kind of person you want to be with. If he does that with you, he will do it with other women.

To add on to this, some men like the chase of a woman in a relationship. They’ll befriend you but there’s only one intention in mind. So regardless of if you stick with your bf or not, as the above poster said, I would steer clear of this guy.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I agree.. He will like the challenge and then leave you high and dry.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

I found in the past guys like this like the chase... Then they get bored. These situations never end well and the grass is never greener.

 

[TheRoyalHousekeeper]

Grass isn’t always greener..

 

[Bae56]

How new is the friend? Did you meet him before/after you got together with your boyfriend?

He's obviously saying this to give you the opportunity to welcome his advances, without having to deal with a straight rejection.

Don't feel guilty for wondering. He's planted the seed. Don't leave yourself vulnerable to him where it ends up going too far. You don't want to find out the hard way that losing your relationship over this friend is not what you want. I would question how decent he is to say this to you while you're in a happy relationship.

 

[Missgobby124]

I feel like this is so typical of men. They always want what they can’t have and possibly you being in a relationship has made him think this way because suddenly you’re not as accessible. I don’t think you should even entertain it, if you’re content and happy with your boyfriend then you should focus on him and not pay any attention. Sometimes the grass isn’t greener on the other side, sometimes it’s just not worth it, in this case it isn’t worth it. You’d be hurting someone. If you’re not 100% about your boyfriend then leave him so he can find someone who won’t be tempted by others so easily