Baby milestones/development

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Hey guys,
My baby was born May 2020 so in first lockdown and has basically spent his life in and out of lockdown. We love in Merseyside so we were in tier 3 from October.
we did baby groups when we could in September/October but none since due to restrictions. Well, some were on zoom but I didn’t want to pay for them as I tried them and baby didn’t react well.

im feeling like a failure of a mum and my baby is behind because of me and I’ve not done enough for him.

I can count on one hand the amount of times my parents have seen him as they live an hour and a half away.
we’ve been in no friends houses since first lockdown.
my baby hasn’t touched another baby or been close to another baby.
We go for walks with my Nct friends so he sees babies in prams and that’s it.

I thought he was fine but now I’ve seen in a May 2020 Facebook group I’m in all these other babies doing things he isn’t.

I wasnt too worried months ago when he was the last to roll and the last to sit (He can do these fine now) but I’ve noticed he’s not babbling, or waving or clapping hands. He doesn’t say mama or dads yet.
To be fair to him I haven’t got him to try and wave or clap hands as I didn’t realise it was a developmental thing the HV would check at his 9-12 month review.
I’ve been so distracted with him today and I’ve been desperately trying to get him to babble and wave.
He loves peek a boo and giggles and smiles when I sing to him - like old macdonald and Hokey Cokey.

he doesn’t recognise his name yet but if you point to something he will look.

no health visitor has been in touch since he was 8 weeks and I feel like I’m meant to be trying all these things with him I don’t do like waving and clapping and telling him to shake a rattle or pass something back to me.
we’re doing baby led weaning and he’s great with that - he’s got a little pincer grip now.
He’s good at object permanence - I hide things with Muslins and he understands they’re under there.
I’m a first time mum and this is the first time I’ve really felt like a failure and I just don’t know what to do.

i guess I’m looking for reassurance from other mums whose babies have maybe babbled and clapped and waved later than 9 months? He’s 9 months today.
 
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Hello lovely, sounds to me like you are doing a great job in tough times.

(For context here I have 3 kids, a 4th on the way. My youngest is 2.5)
At 9 months I wouldn’t expect a baby to be saying ANYTHING at all. Babbling sounds, repeating sounds, absolutely, but not saying mama and dada, or anything else, with actual meaning. They may say the sound dada but I wouldn’t expect a meaning to be attached to it at that age at all. So no worries there!

Waving is such a social thing, and I wouldn’t worry about that at all either. Babies learn to wave when someone waves to them - nobody is at the minute as you don’t see many people so he wouldn’t understand waving really. I think my 15 month old nephew is great when he waves at me! So again, I wouldn’t worry about that!

Clapping hands isn’t something I remember from my own babies, but it definitely isn’t something I would be panicking about at 9 months. There is a BIG difference between a 9mo and a 12mo, so there is lots of time for him to develop those skills and meet the health visitor review.

At 9 months I would be expecting a little one to sit up, be able to roll, maybe be making moves towards crawling (although 2 of my kids never crawled! My son did at 8.5mo, so all different!) and be developing good pincer grip for smaller toys.

All the things you’ve mentioned will come in time. 9months is absolutely tiny, and there are years ahead to learn them. I know it’s hard as a FTM not to worry about these things, but by all accounts it doesn’t sound like anything to worry about to me (although I’m not an expert at all!) Don’t try and teach him, so to speak, just chat to him throughout the day, spend time with him, and he will be just wonderful, as are you ❤
 
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My baby was one at the end of January, so has spent most of their life in lockdown too. My Hv said lots of babies aren't waving at the minute cos they never see anyone to wave goodbye to.

I think people tend not to mention their babys milestones unless they think they are early at doing something.
 
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Also, I think it’s so important for FTM at the minute to know they are enough. Your baby at this age will get sooooo much from being with you, you are their sole focus and attention. Yes it’s nice for them to see others, but your child will never lose out from spending more time with their primary care giver ❤
 
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Hello lovely, sounds to me like you are doing a great job in tough times.

(For context here I have 3 kids, a 4th on the way. My youngest is 2.5)
At 9 months I wouldn’t expect a baby to be saying ANYTHING at all. Babbling sounds, repeating sounds, absolutely, but not saying mama and dada, or anything else, with actual meaning. They may say the sound dada but I wouldn’t expect a meaning to be attached to it at that age at all. So no worries there!

Waving is such a social thing, and I wouldn’t worry about that at all either. Babies learn to wave when someone waves to them - nobody is at the minute as you don’t see many people so he wouldn’t understand waving really. I think my 15 month old nephew is great when he waves at me! So again, I wouldn’t worry about that!

Clapping hands isn’t something I remember from my own babies, but it definitely isn’t something I would be panicking about at 9 months. There is a BIG difference between a 9mo and a 12mo, so there is lots of time for him to develop those skills and meet the health visitor review.

At 9 months I would be expecting a little one to sit up, be able to roll, maybe be making moves towards crawling (although 2 of my kids never crawled! My son did at 8.5mo, so all different!) and be developing good pincer grip for smaller toys.

All the things you’ve mentioned will come in time. 9months is absolutely tiny, and there are years ahead to learn them. I know it’s hard as a FTM not to worry about these things, but by all accounts it doesn’t sound like anything to worry about to me (although I’m not an expert at all!) Don’t try and teach him, so to speak, just chat to him throughout the day, spend time with him, and he will be just wonderful, as are you ❤
thanks lovely. I don’t think he’s babbling - he’s making a sound like a gurgle/gaggle noise. I don’t even know if that makes sense 🙈 but it sounds like when you move your tounge really fast and go guuuuhhh.
He is sitting fine, he’s rolling everywhere. He’s not fully crawling, can go backwards, he can go on all 4 and he’s rocking his body back and forth but hasn’t worked out how his limbs move with it.
You know when the HV reviews babies? Do they make you feel like poo if they’re not meeting the milestones? Xx

Also, I think it’s so important for FTM at the minute to know they are enough. Your baby at this age will get sooooo much from being with you, you are their sole focus and attention. Yes it’s nice for them to see others, but your child will never lose out from spending more time with their primary care giver ❤
thanks lovely! This message has really helped me tonight ❤

My baby was one at the end of January, so has spent most of their life in lockdown too. My Hv said lots of babies aren't waving at the minute cos they never see anyone to wave goodbye to.

I think people tend not to mention their babys milestones unless they think they are early at doing something.
Oh it’s so sad :(
Google is the worst too.
My mum told me to play baby videos on YouTube for him which I did and he was so happy and excited it broke my heart xx
 
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You know when the HV reviews babies? Do they make you feel like poo if they’re not meeting the milestones?
No they really don’t. They don’t massively check anything. When my son had his 12 month review they weighed him, watched him play for a bit then asked if I had any concerns and left.

They didn’t ask me about any specific milestones like clapping/babbling etc.

I was worried my son was behind as well (he’s nearly 2). He wasn’t talking really but he’s caught up so much in the past few months, things can change overnight.

Stay out of “mum groups”. People only post up brag or if they’re worried. You never get middle of the road people.

You sound like a brill Mum and your son sounds happy - those are the most important things.
 
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Honestly I wouldn’t worry about the lack of interaction with other babies, they don’t need it at that age. Although they can learn from other babies, they don’t socialise as such with other babies at that age. Baby groups are more about mum getting to meet other mums, rather than baby making friends. Most children only really start to play together around the age of 2-3/4.

all babies develop at different ages and stages. My friend had her baby in March and he was walking at 9 months and could say a words at 10 months, but he’s never seen another baby and has only spent time with mum and sometimes dad. Whereas my nephew who was born years ago, he went to baby classes and the like, but he couldn’t walk until he was 18 months and could only say one word.

I used to work in a nursery and all the children were very different, even though they’d had similar exposure to other children.

Honestly, your baby sounds fine from what you have said, but if you have concerns then do speak to your HV, they aren’t there to judge, they know babies develop differently and they’re there to help.
 
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He is sitting fine, he’s rolling everywhere. He’s not fully crawling, can go backwards, he can go on all 4 and he’s rocking his body back and forth but hasn’t worked out how his limbs move with it.
You know when the HV reviews babies? Do they make you feel like poo if they’re not meeting the milestones? Xx
It sounds like he is doing really well!

I think it depends on your health visitor really. Mine have always been nice, but I know of a few who have been horrible and have made mums feel like crap for every little thing.

Remember there is a really wide range of normal, and that some babies develop physical skills more quickly, and some will develop other skills (eg talking) more quickly. They don’t all develop along the exact same line, despite what we are led to believe! My eldest walked at 10.5months, no crawling. My middle crawled at 8.5mo and walked at 12mo. Youngest never crawled and walked at 13mo. My neighbours kids didn’t walk or crawl until 18months. But all totally normal 😊

It is hard to trust yourself, and trust that you are doing a good job. But by worrying about him, you are showing just what a good job you are doing! Crap mums don’t care enough to ask ❤
 
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Hey lovely, I couldn’t read and run.

Please stop comparing your little darling to others. There isn’t really any comparison, they all do different things at different times! I’ve only learnt that after doing exactly the same thing and coming to realise it will happen in time. I was giving myself such a hard time and honestly it was ruining me enjoying just being a mum.

My daughter is 19m so I’m slightly ahead age wise but 9 months is still so young! I can completely relate to how you’re feeling regarding socialising and baby groups. These stopped for me when my daughter was 7 months old and she doesn’t remember any of it. We did soft play once last September and that’s been about it in terms of other children.

My friend who’s baby was a week older than mine, in September he was saying words like dog, cat and bike but my daughter was just learning to walk. However he had an older brother and due to her working, he was still going to her mums, her friends and a childminder. My daughter still doesn’t say those words but babbles and is making new sounds and noises all the time. She can say things like dad, daddy, mum, no, yes, etc. It’s crazy how two babies, similar in age can be so different but I try to remember that it all happens in time and just to enjoy the time as they grow so fast!

I had an 18 month review in January as they missed the 1 year, and the HV wanted to know if my daughter was saying things like daddy gone work which she isn’t. I felt awful but explained my husband has been working from home and that’s all she knows and it didn’t give me the opportunity to say it. She doesn’t see him go anywhere and she doesn’t understand when he’s at his desk he’s working.

Although she can’t talk she understands what we say! She can’t tell us when she wants something but she reaches or looks at it so we know. We always talk to her and explain what we are doing, even the little things like “shall we change your nappy?” And “let’s get your snacks?” “Let’s put your coat on”. She knows when I put my coat or shoes on that we are going outside, she knows when we come upstairs after dinner it’s time for her bath. If she wants to go outside she will bring shoes to me. She knows I’m mummy and daddy is daddy, my husband will say where’s mummy and she’ll look at me.

One of the things she “excelled” at on her review was her tidying of toys, cleaning up, copying me (wiping the floor, whisking in a saucepan, putting her nappies in the bin, putting clothes in the laundry basket or washing machine). The HV commented on it and said there are advantages to being home so much 🥰

Honestly, you are the entire world for your baby. Keep talking, playing and loving them. The world can wait while you bond and learn at home. It sounds like BLW is going well and the pincer grip is so cute once mastered!

We’ve used YouTube (something we really didn’t want to do) and my daughter loves seeing babies and children on there 😞 but there are some great nursery rhymes and bright videos for little ones. She likes Debbie doo who does clapping at the end of her songs and my little girl always claps along. We started clapping when she did something we liked such as putting the nappy in the bin 😃 babies are like sponges and it’s amazing how much they pick up and copy without you even realising they’ve learnt it until they do it!
 
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Hey lovely, I couldn’t read and run.

Please stop comparing your little darling to others. There isn’t really any comparison, they all do different things at different times! I’ve only learnt that after doing exactly the same thing and coming to realise it will happen in time. I was giving myself such a hard time and honestly it was ruining me enjoying just being a mum.

My daughter is 19m so I’m slightly ahead age wise but 9 months is still so young! I can completely relate to how you’re feeling regarding socialising and baby groups. These stopped for me when my daughter was 7 months old and she doesn’t remember any of it. We did soft play once last September and that’s been about it in terms of other children.

My friend who’s baby was a week older than mine, in September he was saying words like dog, cat and bike but my daughter was just learning to walk. However he had an older brother and due to her working, he was still going to her mums, her friends and a childminder. My daughter still doesn’t say those words but babbles and is making new sounds and noises all the time. She can say things like dad, daddy, mum, no, yes, etc. It’s crazy how two babies, similar in age can be so different but I try to remember that it all happens in time and just to enjoy the time as they grow so fast!

I had an 18 month review in January as they missed the 1 year, and the HV wanted to know if my daughter was saying things like daddy gone work which she isn’t. I felt awful but explained my husband has been working from home and that’s all she knows and it didn’t give me the opportunity to say it. She doesn’t see him go anywhere and she doesn’t understand when he’s at his desk he’s working.

Although she can’t talk she understands what we say! She can’t tell us when she wants something but she reaches or looks at it so we know. We always talk to her and explain what we are doing, even the little things like “shall we change your nappy?” And “let’s get your snacks?” “Let’s put your coat on”. She knows when I put my coat or shoes on that we are going outside, she knows when we come upstairs after dinner it’s time for her bath. If she wants to go outside she will bring shoes to me. She knows I’m mummy and daddy is daddy, my husband will say where’s mummy and she’ll look at me.

One of the things she “excelled” at on her review was her tidying of toys, cleaning up, copying me (wiping the floor, whisking in a saucepan, putting her nappies in the bin, putting clothes in the laundry basket or washing machine). The HV commented on it and said there are advantages to being home so much 🥰

Honestly, you are the entire world for your baby. Keep talking, playing and loving them. The world can wait while you bond and learn at home. It sounds like BLW is going well and the pincer grip is so cute once mastered!

We’ve used YouTube (something we really didn’t want to do) and my daughter loves seeing babies and children on there 😞 but there are some great nursery rhymes and bright videos for little ones. She likes Debbie doo who does clapping at the end of her songs and my little girl always claps along. We started clapping when she did something we liked such as putting the nappy in the bin 😃 babies are like sponges and it’s amazing how much they pick up and copy without you even realising they’ve learnt it until they do it!
Gosh, at the two year reviews here (which are done around 28 months rather than 24) they ask if they can put 2-3 words together. So to expect that at 18 months as a baseline I think is crazy! Don’t you feel crap at all about that!
 
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Gosh, at the two year reviews here (which are done around 28 months rather than 24) they ask if they can put 2-3 words together. So to expect that at 18 months as a baseline I think is crazy! Don’t you feel crap at all about that!
Thank you! At the time I was devastated, I really did feel like a failure but once I read up about it and realised it seemed a little early at 18m I calmed down 🥰
 
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Honestly I wouldn’t worry about the lack of interaction with other babies, they don’t need it at that age. Although they can learn from other babies, they don’t socialise as such with other babies at that age. Baby groups are more about mum getting to meet other mums, rather than baby making friends. Most children only really start to play together around the age of 2-3/4.

all babies develop at different ages and stages. My friend had her baby in March and he was walking at 9 months and could say a words at 10 months, but he’s never seen another baby and has only spent time with mum and sometimes dad. Whereas my nephew who was born years ago, he went to baby classes and the like, but he couldn’t walk until he was 18 months and could only say one word.

I used to work in a nursery and all the children were very different, even though they’d had similar exposure to other children.

Honestly, your baby sounds fine from what you have said, but if you have concerns then do speak to your HV, they aren’t there to judge, they know babies develop differently and they’re there to help.
this is really reassuring thank you xx

It sounds like he is doing really well!

I think it depends on your health visitor really. Mine have always been nice, but I know of a few who have been horrible and have made mums feel like crap for every little thing.

Remember there is a really wide range of normal, and that some babies develop physical skills more quickly, and some will develop other skills (eg talking) more quickly. They don’t all develop along the exact same line, despite what we are led to believe! My eldest walked at 10.5months, no crawling. My middle crawled at 8.5mo and walked at 12mo. Youngest never crawled and walked at 13mo. My neighbours kids didn’t walk or crawl until 18months. But all totally normal 😊

It is hard to trust yourself, and trust that you are doing a good job. But by worrying about him, you are showing just what a good job you are doing! Crap mums don’t care enough to ask ❤
Ahh I needed to hear this - the different examples of mums with kids. Thank you, you’re right ❤

Hey lovely, I couldn’t read and run.

Please stop comparing your little darling to others. There isn’t really any comparison, they all do different things at different times! I’ve only learnt that after doing exactly the same thing and coming to realise it will happen in time. I was giving myself such a hard time and honestly it was ruining me enjoying just being a mum.

My daughter is 19m so I’m slightly ahead age wise but 9 months is still so young! I can completely relate to how you’re feeling regarding socialising and baby groups. These stopped for me when my daughter was 7 months old and she doesn’t remember any of it. We did soft play once last September and that’s been about it in terms of other children.

My friend who’s baby was a week older than mine, in September he was saying words like dog, cat and bike but my daughter was just learning to walk. However he had an older brother and due to her working, he was still going to her mums, her friends and a childminder. My daughter still doesn’t say those words but babbles and is making new sounds and noises all the time. She can say things like dad, daddy, mum, no, yes, etc. It’s crazy how two babies, similar in age can be so different but I try to remember that it all happens in time and just to enjoy the time as they grow so fast!

I had an 18 month review in January as they missed the 1 year, and the HV wanted to know if my daughter was saying things like daddy gone work which she isn’t. I felt awful but explained my husband has been working from home and that’s all she knows and it didn’t give me the opportunity to say it. She doesn’t see him go anywhere and she doesn’t understand when he’s at his desk he’s working.

Although she can’t talk she understands what we say! She can’t tell us when she wants something but she reaches or looks at it so we know. We always talk to her and explain what we are doing, even the little things like “shall we change your nappy?” And “let’s get your snacks?” “Let’s put your coat on”. She knows when I put my coat or shoes on that we are going outside, she knows when we come upstairs after dinner it’s time for her bath. If she wants to go outside she will bring shoes to me. She knows I’m mummy and daddy is daddy, my husband will say where’s mummy and she’ll look at me.

One of the things she “excelled” at on her review was her tidying of toys, cleaning up, copying me (wiping the floor, whisking in a saucepan, putting her nappies in the bin, putting clothes in the laundry basket or washing machine). The HV commented on it and said there are advantages to being home so much 🥰

Honestly, you are the entire world for your baby. Keep talking, playing and loving them. The world can wait while you bond and learn at home. It sounds like BLW is going well and the pincer grip is so cute once mastered!

We’ve used YouTube (something we really didn’t want to do) and my daughter loves seeing babies and children on there 😞 but there are some great nursery rhymes and bright videos for little ones. She likes Debbie doo who does clapping at the end of her songs and my little girl always claps along. We started clapping when she did something we liked such as putting the nappy in the bin 😃 babies are like sponges and it’s amazing how much they pick up and copy without you even realising they’ve learnt it until they do it!
thank you so much for your detailed reply.
I haven’t heard of Debbie Doo but I will look today.
your little girl sounds like she’s coming on amazingly given lockdown and how ace she excelled at all those things.

I know. I’ve never compared before, when he was the last to sit and roll etc but now he’s started.
My baby was the end of May too and one of the last to be born so a lot of the babies in the May fb group are a month or longer ahead of him and that’s actually massive in terms of baby developmental and how much can change in a month so I need to remember that too xx
 
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He sounds lovely and happy and you're doing a great job. My daughter at 20 months barely speaks but my son could have full conversations. They're all so different xx
 
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Hello!

My son was born 29th Feb last year, so he was born right before lockdown.

Ive always been worried about his milestones. He's a really fast mover, been crawling since 7 months and has walked since 10 months.

He was always so behind on his babbling. Never said Mama or Dada. No waving, mimicking or clapping... I was soooo paranoid and getting upset over it.

Then suddenly... this week the week before his first birthday he has been babbling none stop. Won't stop saying mama. Started clapping. Copying me 😁

Please don't worry, every baby is different, I know it can consume you but he will get there eventually. Try to enjoy this time cos it does go so quick X
 
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Hey guys,
My baby was born May 2020 so in first lockdown and has basically spent his life in and out of lockdown. We love in Merseyside so we were in tier 3 from October.
we did baby groups when we could in September/October but none since due to restrictions. Well, some were on zoom but I didn’t want to pay for them as I tried them and baby didn’t react well.

im feeling like a failure of a mum and my baby is behind because of me and I’ve not done enough for him.

I can count on one hand the amount of times my parents have seen him as they live an hour and a half away.
we’ve been in no friends houses since first lockdown.
my baby hasn’t touched another baby or been close to another baby.
We go for walks with my Nct friends so he sees babies in prams and that’s it.

I thought he was fine but now I’ve seen in a May 2020 Facebook group I’m in all these other babies doing things he isn’t.

I wasnt too worried months ago when he was the last to roll and the last to sit (He can do these fine now) but I’ve noticed he’s not babbling, or waving or clapping hands. He doesn’t say mama or dads yet.
To be fair to him I haven’t got him to try and wave or clap hands as I didn’t realise it was a developmental thing the HV would check at his 9-12 month review.
I’ve been so distracted with him today and I’ve been desperately trying to get him to babble and wave.
He loves peek a boo and giggles and smiles when I sing to him - like old macdonald and Hokey Cokey.

he doesn’t recognise his name yet but if you point to something he will look.

no health visitor has been in touch since he was 8 weeks and I feel like I’m meant to be trying all these things with him I don’t do like waving and clapping and telling him to shake a rattle or pass something back to me.
we’re doing baby led weaning and he’s great with that - he’s got a little pincer grip now.
He’s good at object permanence - I hide things with Muslins and he understands they’re under there.
I’m a first time mum and this is the first time I’ve really felt like a failure and I just don’t know what to do.

i guess I’m looking for reassurance from other mums whose babies have maybe babbled and clapped and waved later than 9 months? He’s 9 months today.
Please don’t worry. The best advice I can give you is that all babies are different. They will do things at their own pace. I was very stressful with my first baby - trying to push him to achieve his milestones and stressing if he didn’t - but hey, he’s a baby! He will do it when he wants to.

My first baby crawled/cruised very quickly but wasn’t a talker AT ALL and still is slow to talk now. But, it’ll come.

My second baby is less of a mover and more of a babbler and more interactive. She’s clapping but my son wasn’t.

Please don’t panic. Slow down and enjoy this precious time with your baby xx
 
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Aww please don’t compare your little one to others. This is the part of motherhood which is the worst because people will brag about everything their babies can do but they never mention all the crappy bits in between!

Your baby isn’t rolling over now or clapping their hands but they’re not going to start school unable to roll or clap their hands, look at it that way. It’ll happen, just in their own time! Each baby is different. Don’t rush it, it’ll happen and soak every minute up 🥰
 
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