Babies development through lockdown

[bubbadabut]

I've noticed on these threads about delays in speech/development that its often about boys. My personal experience fully echoes that. 3 boys followed by a girl. All the boys barely said anything of note until they were 3. We were concerned about them not being able to join in by the time they started school, but they could all definitely understand more than they could be bothered to say. We got the speech and language people involved with my oldest when he was about 3. They came to the house, gave us some little games to play, etc. Not much use. By the follow up appointment he was at nursery and his speech was getting better, so they just discharged him. They were all the same with toilet training too. Lazy.

None of mine ever had much social interaction as I'm not a baby group kind of person, and I had no friends or relatives with young children, so they were stuck with me all day. They've all done the shaky head thing too, usually a way of telling me they were tired or fed up with something. It was just a short-lived thing. A couple of mine used to blink a lot when they were tired too.

Even now when they come out of school and ask them what they did, from the boys its always 'nothing' or 'don't know'. Shrug. My daughter, who started nursery a few months ago, comes flying out of the doors, telling me what she's been doing, who she's been playing with, etc. Her choice of words and sentence structure are also a lot more grown up than any of her brothers were either. She is a little mimic so we have to be really careful what we say around her. The boys are all fully caught up with their speech now and have always done well at school, but they were nowhere near the level of their sister at that age.

The worst thing you can do is compare them to other people's kids. It's especially worse when it's your first baby, because you have nothing to compare him to, apart than what other people tell you he should be doing (which is solely based on their experience and every child is different).

I think it sounds like you are doing a really good job. It's frustrating, be he will get there...eventually!xx

 

[Twinks10]

Hi,
I don’t have lockdown babies but my youngest is 22mths and he didn’t really start talking/babbling until he was about 16/17mths - it just started and didn’t stop. Whereas with my daughter it felt like she came out of the womb talking!
All children are different and it sounds like your little boy is doing great. The head shaking is common when they’re tired and the looking at his hands could be that he’s just realised they belong to him and he can make them move!
You’re doing fab, just keep chatting to him and you’ll be amazed at what he understands and can then communicate back when he’s a bit older. He’s still very young and I wouldn’t worry too much. I know lots of parents are worried about the impact of social interactions for their babies and children through the lockdowns but the truth is that all they need and want is you - they learn the most and get the best for them by being with mum and dad. Interacting with other children can come when they’re older and they will get more out of it.
It sounds to me like you and your little boy are doing great and there’s nothing to worry about from what you’ve said but us mums will always worry about something where our children are concerned x

 

[watermelon sugar]

Hi!

Basically I'm worried about my 15 month olds development.

He was born the end of Feb 2020, 4 weeks before lockdown began. We didn't see anyone at all really even when support bubbles came into place because my partners family are high risk and mine live quite a bit away.

My son is an only child so far, he has cousins but they are my side of the family and live in another city. He's never spent much time with other children. He's been around another baby a few times and she is younger than him by 5 months.

My son hasn't said his first worst yet. He has never really babbled, even though I talk and sing to him none stop. I do flash cards with him twice a day everyday. I read to him too. I talk to him through what I'm doing. He has started saying 'mama' but I dont think he knows that it is me. He doesnt say it when I say it to him as if he is mimicking me, he just comes out with it randomly. He is more of a shrieker than a speaker. He has clapped and waved but he doesnt do either of them alot, and he doesnt mimic when I do them either. He can't point

The last couple of days, when in his high chair he has started to sort of aggressively shake his head back and forth. He seems to only do it when he is tired though. Today he was stood up in his cot and done it for the first time there and hit his head. He went through an arm flapping phase but that stopped. He looks at the palm of his hands a lot.

I dont know what I'm asking really, just whether anyone else with lockdown babies are in a similar boat? I spend every day with him and I try and I try to get him talking but not getting much from him. I cant help but feel a bit helpless like im doing something wrong.

He's such a happy little lad as well, very smiley and always laughing. He's very alert and responds to his name, shows interest in things and shows me stuff.

I have spoken to my HV and she said there's not much we can do while he is at that age but keep an eye on him and that they don't worry about their speech until their at least 2.

Thank you for reading and thanks in advance xx

 

[peachhes]

Probably useless information as I don’t have a lockdown baby but my son is a February 2019 baby, he recently had his 2 year check and ‘passed’ everything apart from speech.

He barely says anything, let alone long sentences that HV’s expect at this age (I find this bizarre anyway) I put it down to lack of social interaction for the past year and a half, he doesn’t go to nursery as we can’t afford it and none of my friends/family have children this age either. Most days I feel like a huge failure as a parent, I see people doing these amazing sensory activities all day every day with their children and I don’t have the time/money/space to do things like that with my son and I constantly feel like he’s missing out, to the point I’ve even considered coming off social media it affects me so much. Stupid really I take him to the park, the farm, we go for lots of walks, he does watch a lot of TV - but he plays with his different toys a lot too so I don’t feel bad about that so much.

He started walking at 13 months and now runs everywhere like an absolute loon, he’s fab in every other way but what HV’s say the worry in me because he wasn’t doing things they think he should be doing, I ended up saying to her basically that the assessment is completely irrelevant at the moment as a lot of these things are things learnt from watching and interacting with children of a similar age. There’s nothing wrong with him but I’m hoping playgroups will help him a long speech wise

He also barely uses cutlery, he prefers using his hands and refuses to take his bedtime milk from a cup which I think is down to pure laziness rather than not being able to do it must be a boy thing

 

[Suzesnooze]

He’s only 15 months..I wouldn’t worry about him not saying much. Like your HV said they can’t do anything until his 2 year check where he should be saying about 20 words. Also never compare him to other kids. With my first my friends baby started talking age 9 months but my daughter didn’t say her first word until she was 18 months (and she went to Nursery while I worked so was surrounded by other kids). By the time of her 2 year check she failed the speech part as she couldn’t say upto 20 words so they said they’d come back in 6 months but a few months later she just started talking in full sentences!

 

[Twinks10]

Aw thank you so much I've spent the morning upset and worried but you've really helped thank you! I guess it is just a part of being a Mum

Aww bless you.
I reckon in the next few months your little boy will be babbling away like nobody’s business and there’ll be a few words/sounds in there that you’ll understand. You’ll learn his language and will be able to translate or reply to him and that will help you both. My husband jokes that I can speak (baby’s name!)!
Keep talking to him and narrating what you’re doing all through the day as that really helps. Even the boring, mundane stuff. “I’m just going to make a cup of tea”, “let’s put the washing on/away”, “mummy’s just going to the toilet, be back in a minute” etc. Point things out to him when you’re out and about, we wave at all sorts of things, say hello and goodbye to random stuff “bye bye bath” when it’s time to get out. All that kind of stuff really helps with their speech and how the world works.
You sounds like a wonderful mummy and come back on here if there’s anything else you’re worried/not sure about. I’m no expert, just a mum too but I’m happy to help and the people on here are lovely and will offer advice too. Keep doing what you’re doing

 

[Munchiebox]

My daughter is 13 months and I'm not worried about her talking or anything yet but I can't leave her sight or she screams. Shes so clingy because I'm all she knows. My son was in a childminder at 9 months and was so sociable. Its hard on them.
Boys are generally slower to talk too but definitely talk to your nurse if you're worried

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Some babies massively prefer working on their gross motor skills over their language/communication skills at this age. You’ll be amazed when he starts saying words because it feels like they’ll come out of no where and won’t stop! You sound like you’re a fabulous Mumma, please try not to panic. My youngest is 15 months nearly 16 months (beginning of Feb) and he’s literally only just started to point and say some words and he’s only just started walking too. Much more physical than verbal unlike my eldest who - as someone said above - felt like he came out of the womb talking but was always a bit lacking at any motor skills until he got older! Boys also tend to speak later and more often than not are lazier. Head shaking when tired is normal my little one used to do this and still does sometimes and the hand flapping is usually just exploring their movement and what they can do with their bodies. You’re doing great

 

[Twinks10]

Thank you so much for replying that's lovely of you to say. I'm a bit of a worrier anyway and being a first time Mum during this doesn't help at all! I guess I just worry at every little thing, I can't help it x

Haha! This is your life now!
I wasn’t a worrier before having kids but OMG, I experienced anxiety for the first time with my first and it was tough. I’m better now and don’t experience it like I did when she was first born but I worry a lot. About them, about my abilities as a mother, about the future, everything but I’ve accepted that this is always how it’s going to be because I love and care for them so much, I’m responsible for them and it’s new. When you think you’ve got something cracked, they change and there’s something new to tackle and worry about! BUT, try not to let it consume you and focus on all the positives. Try not to beat yourself up either, none of us are perfect. My kids have spent this past year and a half watching way too much telly, I’ve been on my phone more than I should and we’ve not done much more than walking round the block. But they’re happy, I’m happy so I’m going with the flow!
Baby milestones are there as a guide so don’t panic if your little one isn’t doing all of the things at the time the “experts” say they should. They all get there in their own time and your little one sounds fab so do you

 

[Suzesnooze]

Thank you everyone! I know he's 'only 15 months' and he's still a baby but there's people like my Mum who are like 'he should be doing this he should be doing that' so it's hard not to think too much into it

Yeah, I have heard that boys are slower than girls! He has walked since he was 11 months and can practically run now so maybe he was just more focused on his motor skills

I feel like im waiting and waiting for that day he talks and doesn't shut up

Oh you always get relatives saying 'he should be doing this and that'. All mine could sit up at 3 months, one walked at 11 months, one at 10 months and the other one was lazy and was 14 months but he was the one who potty trained the easiest! They all had delayed speech but they're all fine now. All my friends kids did things at different times. Don't worry at all.

Now things are opening up a bit why don't you try some playgroups or mother and baby groups? It will be good for you as well as your son.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Thank you everyone! I know he's 'only 15 months' and he's still a baby but there's people like my Mum who are like 'he should be doing this he should be doing that' so it's hard not to think too much into it

Yeah, I have heard that boys are slower than girls! He has walked since he was 11 months and can practically run now so maybe he was just more focused on his motor skills

I feel like im waiting and waiting for that day he talks and doesn't shut up

 

[watermelon sugar]

Hi,
I don’t have lockdown babies but my youngest is 22mths and he didn’t really start talking/babbling until he was about 16/17mths - it just started and didn’t stop. Whereas with my daughter it felt like she came out of the womb talking!
All children are different and it sounds like your little boy is doing great. The head shaking is common when they’re tired and the looking at his hands could be that he’s just realised they belong to him and he can make them move!
You’re doing fab, just keep chatting to him and you’ll be amazed at what he understands and can then communicate back when he’s a bit older. He’s still very young and I wouldn’t worry too much. I know lots of parents are worried about the impact of social interactions for their babies and children through the lockdowns but the truth is that all they need and want is you - they learn the most and get the best for them by being with mum and dad. Interacting with other children can come when they’re older and they will get more out of it.
It sounds to me like you and your little boy are doing great and there’s nothing to worry about from what you’ve said but us mums will always worry about something where our children are concerned x

Thank you so much for replying that's lovely of you to say. I'm a bit of a worrier anyway and being a first time Mum during this doesn't help at all! I guess I just worry at every little thing, I can't help it x

 

[IsabellaT]

I don't know if it helps but I'm a twin and my twin sister was walking and talking by 10 months. I didn't start to properly walk until I was 15 months and I didn't talk until I was 18 months. Now I never sit down and I definitely never shut up.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Haha! This is your life now!
I wasn’t a worrier before having kids but OMG, I experienced anxiety for the first time with my first and it was tough. I’m better now and don’t experience it like I did when she was first born but I worry a lot. About them, about my abilities as a mother, about the future, everything but I’ve accepted that this is always how it’s going to be because I love and care for them so much, I’m responsible for them and it’s new. When you think you’ve got something cracked, they change and there’s something new to tackle and worry about! BUT, try not to let it consume you and focus on all the positives. Try not to beat yourself up either, none of us are perfect. My kids have spent this past year and a half watching way too much telly, I’ve been on my phone more than I should and we’ve not done much more than walking round the block. But they’re happy, I’m happy so I’m going with the flow!
Baby milestones are there as a guide so don’t panic if your little one isn’t doing all of the things at the time the “experts” say they should. They all get there in their own time and your little one sounds fab so do you

Aw thank you so much I've spent the morning upset and worried but you've really helped thank you! I guess it is just a part of being a Mum

 

[watermelon sugar]

Probably useless information as I don’t have a lockdown baby but my son is a February 2019 baby, he recently had his 2 year check and ‘passed’ everything apart from speech.

He barely says anything, let alone long sentences that HV’s expect at this age (I find this bizarre anyway) I put it down to lack of social interaction for the past year and a half, he doesn’t go to nursery as we can’t afford it and none of my friends/family have children this age either. Most days I feel like a huge failure as a parent, I see people doing these amazing sensory activities all day every day with their children and I don’t have the time/money/space to do things like that with my son and I constantly feel like he’s missing out, to the point I’ve even considered coming off social media it affects me so much. Stupid really I take him to the park, the farm, we go for lots of walks, he does watch a lot of TV - but he plays with his different toys a lot too so I don’t feel bad about that so much.

He started walking at 13 months and now runs everywhere like an absolute loon, he’s fab in every other way but what HV’s say the worry in me because he wasn’t doing things they think he should be doing, I ended up saying to her basically that the assessment is completely irrelevant at the moment as a lot of these things are things learnt from watching and interacting with children of a similar age. There’s nothing wrong with him but I’m hoping playgroups will help him a long speech wise

He also barely uses cutlery, he prefers using his hands and refuses to take his bedtime milk from a cup which I think is down to pure laziness rather than not being able to do it must be a boy thing

Ah your post made me feel better, I feel the exact same way. Maybe boys are just slower? But you can't help but feel hopeless or whether you're doing something wrong. I get major mum guilt as well that he's not doing as many activities as he should and watches too much tv but I try not to be too hard on myself. Thank you, hopefully they do just start one day and not stop! And I agree health visitors expect way to much

I had the loveliest health visitor but randomly one day it changed to another. I was so disappointed

 

[peachhes]

Ah your post made me feel better, I feel the exact same way. Maybe boys are just slower? But you can't help but feel hopeless or whether you're doing something wrong. I get major mum guilt as well that he's not doing as many activities as he should and watches too much tv but I try not to be too hard on myself. Thank you, hopefully they do just start one day and not stop! And I agree health visitors expect way to much

I had the loveliest health visitor but randomly one day it changed to another. I was so disappointed

Not sure if the 2 year check is the same everywhere but one of the things on mine was like ‘draw a straight line, and let the child copy you’ which is fine but according to the HV, if the line they draw isn’t completely straight, that means they can’t do it at all? I was like uuuum what? So if my child copies what I’ve done but draws a slightly curved line, that doesn’t count? Surely it’s good they realise you’ve drawn something? I just find it so weird lol.
It is horrible when you lose a good HV! We moved counties a few months ago so lost our health visitor, but luckily the new ones are just as lovely! Kind of relieved he won’t have any more checks now for a while

 

[Kim Mild]

My baby is a similar age to yours . I have older children too , so they have them to copy off .
I do worry that they haven't had much social interaction with people other than us. They seem amazed when they see other people, especially other little ones. I am hoping to book a place at a playgroup now my other one is at nursery.

My first child didn't talk at all til after they turned two . They just made a couple annoying noises. The health visitor kept sending someone out to keep an eye on their progress. They did have the understanding, and talked eventually in words/ sentences.