Autism concerns

[Whaaaaat]

I’m really sorry if this is triggering for anyone.

My son is 18 months and I’ve had some concerns about his development since he was about 12 months. I noticed a few people on this forum have mentioned their children have ASD so I was hoping some more experienced people could provide their views. I’ve got an appointment with his paediatrician in a couple of weeks so I just wanted to get peoples perspectives, because in the UK everyone adopts a wait and see approach, and I don’t know how much to push for an assessment or the next steps because I don’t want my son to suffer as a result of delayed help but I also don’t want to take up the place of someone who really needs it

My concerns:

- He doesn’t really point to request. He either just gets himself what he wants, or struggles away shouting until I get it for him. He does point sometimes but less than he doesn’t.

- If he wants me to go somewhere with him, the garden for example, he will take my hand and lead me there

- Still very few words. He knows no if he doesn’t want something, says nom nom nom for eating and ta consistently. He babbles all day long though, making every sound possible.

His positives:

- he points to show a lot. Will point at things on the tele if it’s his programme, will point to birds in the sky or in the garden. An example was we made a pumpkin this week and and he was pointing at it and looking at his dad.

- he has a decent understanding of things. If I say handy, he’ll come and give me his hand, can point to the birds in his picture books when I say “where’s the bird?”, my mam has a fish and if you say where’s the fish he’ll run to the tank and point, knows bath time/ tea time and get your coat etc.

- gestures are ok. He’s hit and miss with waving but blows kisses when I say “kisses for mama”, raises his arms to tell me he wants to be picked up, shows, gives, claps.

- loves praise. If he does something good he looks to us and claps and wants us to clap.

- copies what we do, so will wipe up when I wipe up or get his hoover when I get mine. Does the actions to lots of the songs we sing like this little piggy.

- he plays with his toys appropriately. His fine motor skills are brilliant. His current record is stacking 13 blocks, can do the shape sorters, pushes cars, puts a phone to his ear.

- he’s a decent eater, although sometimes we have to distract him to get him to eat, sleeps ok. Doesn’t have huge meltdowns. Has tantrums but can be quickly distracted to something else.

My unsures - I’m not sure whether these would be concerns or not:

- he toe walks sometimes and crosses the fingers on his right hand a lot.

- loves opening and closing things like gates and the fasteners on his high chair/car seat. Like would literally stand and just open and close the gate in the park rather than play in the park.

My main worries are his speech and his lack of pointing to request. Sometimes it just feels as though he struggles to communicate with us.

 

[PurplePop20]

I would ask your health visitor for an ASQ-SE assessment. But they would only probs refer you to a community paed which by the sounds of it you have the referral already. From what you have written it all sounds reassuring though. Speech and Language dont really focus on how many words they say but more the understanding of language, attention and play (look up tree of language online).

 

[Pajxo]

I’m really sorry if this is triggering for anyone.

My son is 18 months and I’ve had some concerns about his development since he was about 12 months. I noticed a few people on this forum have mentioned their children have ASD so I was hoping some more experienced people could provide their views. I’ve got an appointment with his paediatrician in a couple of weeks so I just wanted to get peoples perspectives, because in the UK everyone adopts a wait and see approach, and I don’t know how much to push for an assessment or the next steps because I don’t want my son to suffer as a result of delayed help but I also don’t want to take up the place of someone who really needs it

My concerns:

- He doesn’t really point to request. He either just gets himself what he wants, or struggles away shouting until I get it for him. He does point sometimes but less than he doesn’t.

- If he wants me to go somewhere with him, the garden for example, he will take my hand and lead me there

- Still very few words. He knows no if he doesn’t want something, says nom nom nom for eating and ta consistently. He babbles all day long though, making every sound possible.

His positives:

- he points to show a lot. Will point at things on the tele if it’s his programme, will point to birds in the sky or in the garden. An example was we made a pumpkin this week and and he was pointing at it and looking at his dad.

- he has a decent understanding of things. If I say handy, he’ll come and give me his hand, can point to the birds in his picture books when I say “where’s the bird?”, my mam has a fish and if you say where’s the fish he’ll run to the tank and point, knows bath time/ tea time and get your coat etc.

- gestures are ok. He’s hit and miss with waving but blows kisses when I say “kisses for mama”, raises his arms to tell me he wants to be picked up, shows, gives, claps.

- loves praise. If he does something good he looks to us and claps and wants us to clap.

- copies what we do, so will wipe up when I wipe up or get his hoover when I get mine. Does the actions to lots of the songs we sing like this little piggy.

- he plays with his toys appropriately. His fine motor skills are brilliant. His current record is stacking 13 blocks, can do the shape sorters, pushes cars, puts a phone to his ear.

- he’s a decent eater, although sometimes we have to distract him to get him to eat, sleeps ok. Doesn’t have huge meltdowns. Has tantrums but can be quickly distracted to something else.

My unsures - I’m not sure whether these would be concerns or not:

- he toe walks sometimes and crosses the fingers on his right hand a lot.

- loves opening and closing things like gates and the fasteners on his high chair/car seat. Like would literally stand and just open and close the gate in the park rather than play in the park.

My main worries are his speech and his lack of pointing to request. Sometimes it just feels as though he struggles to communicate with us.

Hey! My nephew has ASD and to be entirely honest from reading that, your son just sounds like an 18 month old to me.nothing is jumping out as alarming expect for maybe the toe walks and the crossing of the fingers.
The opening and closing of things like gates is totally normal. This is the reason people have to Baby proof their whole houses, babies love to explore and often don’t want the toys available to them, and would much prefer the cupboard under the sink.
Kids develop in different things at different stages. We have two Neices who are 5 and two friends children who are 5. Watching them grow was incredible because where one didn’t walk until they were 2 but spoke quite early, another walked at 11 months but wasn’t speaking words and Sentences until 2 years old. Looking at them all now, they’re all 5 in school and thriving but there were many times there mums compared them to each other and worried.
I hope you don’t mind me commenting as I’m not a mum, but with my nephew diagnosed with asd and so much experience around kids I just thought I would give you my opinion.

a mother knows best and if your gut feeling is telling you something isn’t right then maybe It isn’t but I always say it’s such a growing and new phase stage that I believe when a child is 2 and a half - 3 thats when you can really see communication difficulty’s it’s they are one.

good luck xx

 

[Crb250]

My daughter is 2 years 2 months and did a lot of similar things to your son at that age. The toe walking was a phase for her, she did it constantly but hasn't done it since she was around 21 months, I'm on a Facebook group with babies born in the same month as my daughter and they all assured me their child was also toe walking for a while.
My daughter didn't speak much until around 19 months and then her speech just exploded. There's a common speech explosion around 18 months so you'll probably find he starts saying a lot more words soon. Keep reading lots of books to him, narrating everything and flash cards are also a great way for them to learn words. My daughter never stops talking now.
My daughter never really pointed much either but as long as they are getting your attention, even by whinging or moaning at the 'item' then they are communicating with you. Nothing you're worried about sounds like ASD to me, just sounds like normal toddler behaviour. So I'd try not to worry. I think this is why they don't usually assess for ASD until after the age of 2 because so many of the behaviours are normal for 1-2 year olds.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I don’t have a child with ASD, but I did work with children and babies.

I wouldn’t be concerned just yet, nothing that you’ve said above sounds worrying or sounds like an indicator for ASD. This is one of the reasons why they do wait until they are older to start diagnosing, because some of the behaviours (speech ect) can change with age and what may seem like a concern at 18 months, can quickly change by the time they’re 3.

as above, keep reading books, communicating constantly, pointing things out. Always explain what you’re about to do, “I’m going to pick you up now so that we can change your nappy” “im taking your nappy off now because you’ve done a wee” “I’m going to get your snack now, it’s crackers and grapes”. Just really basic, no need for baby talk like “doggy ducky” ect, just speak to them normally and they will soon pick it up.

 

[Rlaw1978]

I have two children with autism and work with children with autism. Reading what you’ve written, there is nothing I can see for you to be overly concerned about or that points to ASD at this stage. Your child’s young and they change weekly. You could log keeping a log of any concerns daily or weekly, this will help when you see the child pediatrician for assessment.
Another alternative is Portage. They come to your house once a week and assess your child through play. It’s very relaxed and informal, children really enjoy it. & they can offer advice, support and referrals.
I’ve included the link to their website https://www.portage.org.uk/
They will also have local branches , so if you google Portage and your area you’ll get the relevant contact info.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Your little one sounds like a very typical 18 month old. I don’t think there’s anything concerning there at all, from what you’ve told us. See what happens at the appointment and take it from there but I wouldn’t be too concerned

 

[Moe]

Your little one sounds like a very typical 18 month old. I don’t think there’s anything concerning there at all, from what you’ve told us. See what happens at the appointment and take it from there but I wouldn’t be too concerned

I agree and the OP has brought back so many memories. I loved the opening and closing of gates though not at the time. It would take us hours to get to the top of the road.
Anyone remember the box and wrapping paper would get more attention than the actual present.
The difference between 18 months and 2 years is amazing. Every six months they come on in leaps and bounds.

 

[ChloChlo]

Hi, my 12 year old son has autism. He was diagnosed at the very young age of 22 months.

I noticed when he was a baby and there wasn't any "positives" which you have listed.

My son was noticeably very "blank" at that age. It seemed like the lights were on but nobody was home. I have a son two years older so had some reference of developmental milestones and he just seemed to hit every single one very late, or often not at all. He would look at me, but it was through me.

He wasn't very animated or expressive at all, or interactive. Even from a very young baby I had to wake him to feed him, he slept through the night since birth. Too good to be true. He was a sleepy, dreamy baby. He would stare into space. He smiled late, laughed late. When he did it was at inanimate objects or to thin air but not to people. We often joked he "saw faeries".

Weaning was late. He rejected food. It was textures for him.

Toys - he had no interest in at all. Or was really particular with. If he had his way he would swing a door back and forth all day. He liked the repetitive action of it. Toy vehicles he only like putting them on their side and spinning round one of the wheels.

Speech. Very late. He was non verbal. The most he would do to interact with his chosen people would be to guide your hand onto what he wanted. He made very little noise. No babbling, he was stuck on the "a" sound for a very long time.

When he finally did walk, at around 18 months, he did it with inward pointing toes.

 

[Whaaaaat]

Thank you everyone for your input. We’re quite lucky because he already has a consultant paediatrician that he sees every 6 months (due to issues he had as a baby), so I feel pleased we’re already past the first hurdle of having to see a paediatrician.

I think I’ll bring up my concerns but if he says he’s not worried and we’ll review in 6 months I’ll take that for now and see where he is in 6 months.

I don’t have much experience with kids, I’m the youngest of all my cousins etc so I’m not really sure what to expect at what age. And all my friends kids are girls and all super chatty from being tiny!

 

[LittleMy]

There are a lot of positives in what you’ve said, as other posters have already pointed out it does seem very much like it could be typical toddler development but obviously if you have any concerns as his parent then it really does no harm to reach out for advice. My gut always told me there was something different about my eldest son. He first went on the pathway to diagnosis around 15-18 months. He was diagnosed at 3 and a half and is now 5. My son regressed from saying his first three words to basically nothing. He never responded to his name, rarely looked us in the eye, it was very much as though he was in his own little bubble away from us. He didn’t point at all, only screamed and cried until we figured out what he needed. He didn’t play typically with toys until more recently, preferring to line them up, throw things or play repetitively. He had a hearing assessment first to rule that out, and we had meetings with his paediatrician and speech and language team over the first two years.

The more we learned about autism, the more we came to accept that there was a high probability he would be diagnosed so it didn’t come as much of a shock when he eventually was (it was still hard to hear though). He is 5 now and with lots of input from nursery, ourselves at home and SLT, he has come on leaps. He speaks quite well now and will chat with lots of prompting, obviously still somewhat delayed, but he attends a mainstream primary school now and is doing well. I hope you get answers, but please try not to worry too much. It is harder to tell when they are younger. That’s why children are rarely diagnosed before the age of 3.

 

[Whaaaaat]

Thank you.

it was very much as though he was in his own little bubble away from us.

A few people have said this and he doesn’t seem this way. He’s very interactive with us, likes us to play with him and brings us books to read to him and pictures to show him.

I just have this little niggle, but in all honesty I don’t have a huge amount of experience with autism and everything you google comes up with autism so it could be something or nothing.

 

[MissyAnon]

Doesn't sound like autism, don't think there's anything to worry about x

 

[leon19]

My nephew is autistic so I have some experience and understanding and your boy sounds like a normal toddler in my opinion. He is still young to worry about talking too much yet. My daughter didn't start talking until a few months after turning 2. She said about 2 words and then it just seemed to happened overnight. By 3 she had a wide vocabulary and was talking just aswell as any other kid her age. She is 5 now and not behind developmently at all even though she was a late talker. Its hard not to worry as I was one of them parents too worrying about child's speech but more often than not it resolves itself and everything is fine x

 

[Talensandtruths]

I work in ASD and from what you’ve said nothing immediately jumps out to me either.

The way he walks could be a number of things, having flat feet/tight/loose hamstrings etc. Although the thing with his hand makes me think he could be hypermobile (flexible joints) so walking on his toes/crossing his fingers is comfortable and may just be a bit of a quirk too!

Good luck & hope you find some answers/reassurance

 

[J-Dog]

My son was diagnosed ASD at 5. Similar to what @ChloChlo said above, I was noticing a real lack of lots of the ‘positives’ you listed. So that sounds reassuring! Go with your gut though, if something feels off the definitely discuss with professionals and check it out. I understand the rationale for not assessing at a very young age but the diagnosis process can be slow so getting the ball rolling early might be a good idea.

 

[Whaaaaat]

Thanks everyone. I had a phone review with his consultant ahead of our appointment.

Our consultant has booked him in for a hearing test prior to his appointment with him and if that comes back all clear he said he will do a full developmental check with him during his appointment. Although he said the only thing that sounds concerning to him is his speech and he’s leaning towards speech delay.

He was a very early walker and he’s extremely physically advanced. Can climb like nothing I’ve ever seen, plays football properly, can walk up and down stairs properly etc. So he said it’s likely he’s just working on that for now and will catch up with speech.

 

[Trixabellee9393]

Thank you everyone for your input. We’re quite lucky because he already has a consultant paediatrician that he sees every 6 months (due to issues he had as a baby), so I feel pleased we’re already past the first hurdle of having to see a paediatrician.

I think I’ll bring up my concerns but if he says he’s not worried and we’ll review in 6 months I’ll take that for now and see where he is in 6 months.

I don’t have much experience with kids, I’m the youngest of all my cousins etc so I’m not really sure what to expect at what age. And all my friends kids are girls and all super chatty from being tiny!

Sounds like a normal 18month old to me I work with autistic children and have a education degree so hopefully that reassures you? if he’s a bit more shy/ reserved that’s just his personality he sounds fine to me x

 

[Kema]

I would follow it up though as everyone here seems to say he’s a normal toddler. Your account sounds very much like how my son was at his age. I just had a gut feeling something wasn’t right as he would close and open gates and doors all the time. In parks, soft play etc. He was diagnosed with add at the age of 5. Things become more obvious after the age of two but the gates were first indicator xx

I would follow it up though as everyone here seems to say he’s a normal toddler. Your account sounds very much like how my son was at his age. I just had a gut feeling something wasn’t right as he would close and open gates and doors all the time. In parks, soft play etc. He was diagnosed with add at the age of 5. Things become more obvious after the age of two but the gates were first indicator xx

ASD not add

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

In response to above post, I was about to say - even if nothing immediately jumps out at you it might be things that he’s really really good at that are the pointers rather than the lack of positives. I’m almost convinced my 2.5 year old is “high functioning” (hate that phrase but only way I can think to put it right now) ASD, he can label all of the parts of a car (including the bits that I don’t even know the name of), is OBSESSED with trains and washing machines (and not like the “aw he really likes them!” kind), and is so strictly in his routine that anything that breaks it sends him into a spin for a good day or two. He’s terrified of people, takes so long to warm up and “trust” someone and when even when he does he need some more time. His speech and language is fantastic, he understands concepts and context beyond any 2 year old I’ve ever seen (and I’m a nanny so I’ve worked with many 2 yos including one with ASD) and speaks and acts like a near 4/5 year old rather than a 2 year old. He also has a bit of a sensory thing going on too but too long to explain. As you say - something just seems off. He has enlarged fluid spaces in the brain which can be a pointer for autism but I’m not too worried at this point, whatever happens, happens.

I think my biggest thing to say is not to worry. You can’t stop what happens in the future from happening, if he needs extra support and help then it’s great that you’re already on it but don’t let it take over your time with him now at such a precious age - I wish I had as now I will never get my time spent worrying back. Good luck OP xx