Ashley James #17 Less heavily pregnant, more heavily entitled

[ToolaRoola]

Thanks @InTheDollsHouse for the thread title.

There were so many great suggestions as Ash is the gift that just keeps giving (but not to her son).

Crazy it's only been 3 weeks since the last thread. So much to recap, I'm sure I've missed some corkers.

Alf continued to disturb Ashley's sleep by awaking multiple times in the night. Ashley ensured he got back to sleep by using flash photography in his face, oh, and in hers too as she faked sleep next to him taking multiple selfies.

Then she dropped the bombshell that they weren't buying their own son a Christmas gift. It's ok though, she brought the entire back catalogue of 'That's not my...' books for his childminder where he can enjoy them but he's still not allowed to borrow books from a library as he has to learn to be 'Kind'. At the same aforementioned childminders, Alf plays with a kitchen that he LOVES, but Ash didn't see the point in letting him have the same enjoyment at home. (Don't worry though, Snoops mum Ashley's mum rectified this by buying him a similar one for Christmas).

Ash continued to dress like a walking Pinterest advertisement. Beige and bland, but do not fear, the underwear shots still made a weekly appearance.

Tommy couldn't go to France as nobody did their research and his Passport wasn't accepted.

Thankfully his Passport was renewed so they could enjoy a last-minute, cheaper than BA, long haul flight to the Maldives.

Ashley is currently enjoying her break by pretending she's at home, describing the entire contents of her luggage by means of undeclared affiliated links. I'm sure the 78p she'll earn will go far towards paying off that holiday bill.

And last but not least, we discovered she is telepathic . What a skill she has kept hidden. I think the telepathy only works when you're in close range, bit like a TV remote needs to point at a TV, Ashley actually has to spend time with her son in order for the vibes to transmit.

Lovely day

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Ahh thank you! But my inspiration was @JarvisCockerSpaniel !

Lovely recap x

 

[cahil]

why on earth would you fly to the Maldives with your toddler, what's he gonna do watch his iPad all day? he can do that at home! I reckon the reason she's kept schtum about her holiday destination and pretending she's not there yet is because she knows that this last minute luxury holiday is going to go down like tit with her followers since she keeps going on about the cost of living crisis and trying to be relatable - face it trash there is absolutely nothing relatable about the Maldives at Christmas, it is in fact one of the most basic rich white girl things you can do .... god she is contemptible

 

[theaceofstace]

Lovely recap x

 

[ToolaRoola]

Her latest reel shows another hidden skill - she can time travel!

6 hours ago she was taking off. Newest reel includes footage of her on the beach in the Maldives.

She's amazing.

 

[willowtree2]

bleeping howling at the recap. ‘Like TV remote’ hahahha

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Ah! Thanks for the nod @InTheDollsHouse. Although I’m astounded my apathy/telepathy/saw teeth suggestion didn’t make the er…. cut

Lovely recap.

Trash is also hamming up her ‘bond’ with Alf. Apparently she’s the ‘apple of his eye’ and she’s ‘obsessed’ with him. This is news to Alf who looks mostly confused. She is so into him at the moment that she’s squished him on a long haul flight to somewhere boring for children before she has to pay for a plane seat once he’s two. Alf will definitely sleep, because she’s taken this super new invention called a portable blackout blind, which will do absolutely duck all to block out daylight in what is essentially a wooden hut with vast windows overlooking the pacific bleeping ocean.

Lovely sleep Ash!

 

[okdo2022]

“This is what we packed” so no actual lunch then?? What’s wrong with a sandwich???

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

I hate those bloody coconut rolls. So much plastic waste for what is essentially a Sylvanian-family-sized rolled up bit of wafer.

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

“This is what we packed” so no actual lunch then?? What’s wrong with a sandwich???

What the actual duck!

 

[grumpy-nosy-cow]

“This is what we packed” so no actual lunch then?? What’s wrong with a sandwich???

thats a snack list not lunch ! no carbs at all

 

[Holly Harris]

Isn’t Alf too big for a baby carrier ?

 

[potatoface431]

Wtf, that’s what my 2 year old eats as snacks for a day. She has disordered eating and doesn’t know how to properly feed her child.

 

[MillionDollarBaby]

“This is what we packed” so no actual lunch then?? What’s wrong with a sandwich???

#AD Alpro ambassador
Ffs Ashley you literally have one job

 

[potatoface431]

Isn’t Alf too big for a baby carrier ?

Hmm not entirely, I wouldn’t take one on holiday unless I was going hiking. If I’m going on a long walk on uneven ground my 2yo will sometimes go in the carrier when he’s had enough and wants duddles

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

thats a snack list not lunch ! no carbs at all

And a tit load of sugar!

4 petits filous 4.4g each = 17.6
3 packs of bear paws (yes Ash, these count despite being fruit) 9g per pack = 18
Coconut rolls 1.6g per pack = 3.2
3 Kinder bars 6.7g each = 20.1

58.9g sugar

It’s no wonder he always looks exhausted! He’s on a constant sugar rollercoaster the poor boy.


Here’s some more research for you to ignore Ashley.

Sugar: the facts

Most adults and children in the UK eat too much sugar. Cut down by eating fewer sugary foods, such as sweets, cakes and biscuits, and drinking fewer sugary fizzy drinks.

www.nhs.uk

 

[ToolaRoola]

Ah! Thanks for the nod @InTheDollsHouse. Although I’m astounded my apathy/telepathy/saw teeth suggestion didn’t make the er…. cut

Lovely recap.

Trash is also hamming up her ‘bond’ with Alf. Apparently she’s the ‘apple of his eye’ and she’s ‘obsessed’ with him. This is news to Alf who looks mostly confused. She is so into him at the moment that she’s squished him on a long haul flight to somewhere boring for children before she has to pay for a plane seat once he’s two. Alf will definitely sleep, because she’s taken this super new invention called a portable blackout blind, which will do absolutely duck all to block out daylight in what is essentially a wooden hut with vast windows overlooking the pacific bleeping ocean.

Lovely sleep Ash!

I was really hoping telepathy and saw teeth would make it too but honestly, she provided so many classics in so little time.

Completely forgot being the apple of his eye. I can't even say that without doing it in 'Under his eye' handmaid's tail fashion.

"No one doing it for the fame. Like early reality TV shows". Says the woman who went on a reality TV show, twice, for what? Oh yeah, fame!

 

[ShhItsASecret]

Isn’t Alf too big for a baby carrier ?

Our baby bjorn carrier says you can carry them until 3 years. Not sure I would though. They can frigging walk!!

 

[theaceofstace]

Isn’t Alf too big for a baby carrier ?

Not one that’s designed for a child of his weight and worn properly, no. I’m still able to carry a 3.5yo even at the same gestation as her! (Well, till I broke my foot this week but that’s another story.)
More “research”

 

[womaninthemirror]

Re the baby carrier, I’m sure it’s meant to be for back carrying at that age? If only Ash did some of her grade A research. Can’t believe the food list for Alf. Not one ounce of nutritional value. Get that boy a toasted sandwich, juice box and a banana. She hasn’t got a clue. I think the above comment about Ashley having disordered eating hits the nail on the head. She can barely feed herself (which she has admitted many times in her AllPlants ADs) and it’s having real effect on poor Alf now.