Hi all I don’t know if I’m in the right place… to create a thread.. asd in women born 1980-2020. Help for those seeking advice and those that suspect but are undiagnosed? Could be a great of topic forum! I know it’s a bit of a “trend” these days… not saying it’s a fashion statement but there are more diagnoses in young children especially girls these days… I strongly suspect I’m autistic… I have always been diagnosed with anxiety/ depression (after a 10 minute consultation and no time to give background) upon telling my parents this “pull your socks up” hence why I do not feel like it would be beneficial them filling out paperwork.I think I could go further into this on a thread… I also think it would benefit others.. can it be made? Is there already a similar thread?
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I'm undiagnosed but my youngest son is diagnosed and I'm pretty sure I am autistic. I feel silly going to a doctor now in my 30s especially how trendy it is
Same here but I do really struggle with day to day tasks and living. I’m really set in my routine and if something doesn’t go to plan I tend to fixate on it and can’t process it. I feel bad because it’s affecting my relationship. I think if I had a diagnosis it would help me to go easier on myself and understand the way I feel and give myself a bit of grace… whilst also trying to rectify my behavior.
When things don't go well I swear a lot and it gets me in heaps of trouble I feel my work would get it more if I had it but apart from that nothing else would change
Thanks for joining the thread! I won’t pry unless you want to share (remember to keep yourself anonymous) I’m interested to know more
Undiagnosed but always known, and I think my family know and everything I've been shamed for in my life had to do with this. But I don't tell anyone, have never told anyone, and it's not something I'm interested in exploring further for myself -- I just cope with symptoms as best as I can.
Can I ask what the significance is of the time period 1980 - 2020?
Can I ask what the significance is of the time period 1980 - 2020?
Can I ask what the significance is of the time period 1980 - 2020?
Surely that's too wide a date range. Some people born 2020 haven't started education yet , as they are still under 5. 1980 to 2006ish I could understand. Unless the 80s ones are the mothers of the 2020 ones .
Surely that's too wide a date range. Some people born 2020 haven't started education yet , as they are still under 5. 1980 to 2006ish I could understand. Unless the 80s ones are the mothers of the 2020 ones .
The genes of both conditions are similar. We have similar traits particularly related to language and social communication. Roughly a third meet the criteria for an Autism diagnosis
It was a typo… I know autism didn’t used to be diagnosed and I have no clue why I put 2020 was having some sort of breakdown at the time with everything stressing me out
Came across a TikTok that asked for late diagnosed people what are the things you did in childhood that no one picked up on?
undiagnosed: two dogs and I used to worry that the other dog would be worried that I petted the other one last and would get jealous so I couldn’t leave and continued to pat their head till i patted them both on the head at the same time and worried one got one more pet but it was the only way to leave.
people talk about stimming these days: I used to do a hard blink and scrunch my nose… my gran said it was because of my fringe being too long and my parents cut it really short and shouted at me that it’s really ugly when I do that and why do I do it…
I was a selective mute aged 8/9. One day someone repulsed me and couldn’t speak to anyone apart from my parents/ siblings… again asked what is wrong with me and was threatened with going to see a psychologist like there was something wrong with me…
Like I said I’m still undiagnosed but these things taught me to “mask”
undiagnosed: two dogs and I used to worry that the other dog would be worried that I petted the other one last and would get jealous so I couldn’t leave and continued to pat their head till i patted them both on the head at the same time and worried one got one more pet but it was the only way to leave.
people talk about stimming these days: I used to do a hard blink and scrunch my nose… my gran said it was because of my fringe being too long and my parents cut it really short and shouted at me that it’s really ugly when I do that and why do I do it…
I was a selective mute aged 8/9. One day someone repulsed me and couldn’t speak to anyone apart from my parents/ siblings… again asked what is wrong with me and was threatened with going to see a psychologist like there was something wrong with me…
Like I said I’m still undiagnosed but these things taught me to “mask”
I did the hard blinking a lot as a child. I still do it now. It gives me a headache but I can't stop
Undiagnosed but my daughters are diagnosed. I had special interests growing up. One was prams and pushchairs, I could have told you all the makes and dates they were made and colours they came in. I used to ask my mum to take me to mother care all of the time and I used to read the pram section of argos religiously. I never had friends but picked a poor unsuspecting girl and forced her to spend time with me at primary school. I had acquaintances at secondary but really I just wanted a boyfriend. I was a bit neglected as a child where my parents both worked full time but it was in the 1980s and there was no wraparound care or anything so I spent school holidays home alone from the age of about 7. I always assumed that was the reason for my lack of social skills. I always felt that there was a set of social rules that I didn't have access to. I was mute at school and would only talk to a select few people. In 6th form I fell out with everyone, at uni I fell out with everyone. People always told me I was boring, weird or too serious. In the past I've shared my opinions too easily and Ive learned that people don't always appreciate it.
I dont really have a sense of identity apart form I know I love children and animals. I tend to take inspiration from others and copy their look or mannerisms. Im currently modellng myself on someone I met at an interview. She is very attractive and successful so that's what I'm trying to be like at the moment.
I hate busy places and have to go to the shops very early in the morning, I do my main food shop order using click and collect where I will book it for 8am on a Saturday before it gets busy. I have been known to have a meltdown in morrisons and dump my basket and walk out. I am a teacher and never go into the staffroom. I have no interest in chatting with other staff about petty tit and having to eat in front of them. I can sense neurodivergence in children and I look out for them especially. I am an expert in masking but I do like scripts. Chat gpt is my new best friend!
I have an anonymous Facebook where I'm in a group for prams and pushchairs so that I can see the retro ones, I really enjoy doing this.
I can't abide toothpaste, I brush twice a day now but as a young adult I didn't brush them for about 5 years. I'm very messy too, if I know I have to do housework I find a cleaning video so that I can copy them. I dont even like showering I just do it because I know its what people do to keep clean blah blah.
At work people thing I'm just shy I think. And I'm very tidy and organised at work they'd be horrified at the state of my bedside table
I'm probably over sharing. People don't like that either I don't think 
I dont really have a sense of identity apart form I know I love children and animals. I tend to take inspiration from others and copy their look or mannerisms. Im currently modellng myself on someone I met at an interview. She is very attractive and successful so that's what I'm trying to be like at the moment.
I hate busy places and have to go to the shops very early in the morning, I do my main food shop order using click and collect where I will book it for 8am on a Saturday before it gets busy. I have been known to have a meltdown in morrisons and dump my basket and walk out. I am a teacher and never go into the staffroom. I have no interest in chatting with other staff about petty tit and having to eat in front of them. I can sense neurodivergence in children and I look out for them especially. I am an expert in masking but I do like scripts. Chat gpt is my new best friend!
I have an anonymous Facebook where I'm in a group for prams and pushchairs so that I can see the retro ones, I really enjoy doing this.
I can't abide toothpaste, I brush twice a day now but as a young adult I didn't brush them for about 5 years. I'm very messy too, if I know I have to do housework I find a cleaning video so that I can copy them. I dont even like showering I just do it because I know its what people do to keep clean blah blah.
At work people thing I'm just shy I think. And I'm very tidy and organised at work they'd be horrified at the state of my bedside table
I'm probably over sharing. People don't like that either I don't think I suspect I am autistic. I came to this conclusion when I realised that my daughter has several signs that point to autism. She is undiagnosed too., but would have to seek diagnosis ad an adult.
I've always been different, but I mask a lot, so a lot of it is internal. I don't seem to experience emotions the way that is described as normal. I'm not sure if I feel love., certainly not the way others seem to.
There's something going on , and I'm afraid that if I don't have autism, I may be a sociopath.
I've always been different, but I mask a lot, so a lot of it is internal. I don't seem to experience emotions the way that is described as normal. I'm not sure if I feel love., certainly not the way others seem to.
There's something going on , and I'm afraid that if I don't have autism, I may be a sociopath.
I’m another who has long suspected I may be autistic since having children who are diagnosed. Both my sons were diagnosed quite young and it really opened my eyes to my own childhood and behaviours that span well into the present day. I’ve always felt there was something different about me, for as long as I can remember, but just thought I was weird or a black sheep. I was born in 1989 and had no experience of autism/it wasn’t as widespread or known about. The only example of an autistic child I remember from my childhood was a non verbal boy who lived a few doors down and who wasn’t allowed out to play and still wore nappies as an older child. We used to see him at the window watching us outside playing and people just said he was “handicapped”. 
I was quite young at the time so I didn’t understand much about it. I was dismissed as being a “shy, sensitive wee girl” growing up when in actual fact I was socially awkward (I still am to this day). I was very clever, soaking up facts and reading from a very young age and could also be chatty - I would chat about my special interests all day to anybody who would listen (I still do this sometimes although I’m more aware now that I’m likely boring them so I rein it in). I hated having my hair brushed and my mum would force me into jeans and clothes that I couldn’t stand because they were so rigid and uncomfortable. I couldn’t touch certain materials and cutting my nails was like the end of the world for me I physically couldn’t cope with it. I barely ate food just picked at things of the “beige” variety - my sons are the exact same, my mum calls it karma because I used to frustrate her by not eating properly.
Looking back knowing as much as I do now, it’s so obvious to me. I’ve masked all my life - I’ve always felt like I was roleplaying at being “normal” to fit in. Friendships I have always struggled to maintain and I prefer to be alone most of the time unless with my OH and the kids and even then I have to retreat for some space. While I’ve held down jobs and been a hard worker since my teens I’ve definitely experienced periods of burnout from work. I would often come home and cry at the thought of having to go back the next day. I get overwhelmed so easily in busy environments and have had to leave the supermarket midway through doing our shopping because of it. I can be a very highly anxious, nervous person and have a long history of depression but ask people who know me and they wouldn’t think that at all - because I’m the master of pretend.
Sorry I didn’t expect to waffle as much as I have but it’s good to know I’m not the only person who feels this way. I doubt I will ever be assessed, I don’t know what good it would do at this point anyway.
I was quite young at the time so I didn’t understand much about it. I was dismissed as being a “shy, sensitive wee girl” growing up when in actual fact I was socially awkward (I still am to this day). I was very clever, soaking up facts and reading from a very young age and could also be chatty - I would chat about my special interests all day to anybody who would listen (I still do this sometimes although I’m more aware now that I’m likely boring them so I rein it in). I hated having my hair brushed and my mum would force me into jeans and clothes that I couldn’t stand because they were so rigid and uncomfortable. I couldn’t touch certain materials and cutting my nails was like the end of the world for me I physically couldn’t cope with it. I barely ate food just picked at things of the “beige” variety - my sons are the exact same, my mum calls it karma because I used to frustrate her by not eating properly.
Looking back knowing as much as I do now, it’s so obvious to me. I’ve masked all my life - I’ve always felt like I was roleplaying at being “normal” to fit in. Friendships I have always struggled to maintain and I prefer to be alone most of the time unless with my OH and the kids and even then I have to retreat for some space. While I’ve held down jobs and been a hard worker since my teens I’ve definitely experienced periods of burnout from work. I would often come home and cry at the thought of having to go back the next day. I get overwhelmed so easily in busy environments and have had to leave the supermarket midway through doing our shopping because of it. I can be a very highly anxious, nervous person and have a long history of depression but ask people who know me and they wouldn’t think that at all - because I’m the master of pretend.
Sorry I didn’t expect to waffle as much as I have but it’s good to know I’m not the only person who feels this way. I doubt I will ever be assessed, I don’t know what good it would do at this point anyway.
I've suspected for a while. Undiagnosed and have gone back and forth on whether I should be assessed for both ASD and ADHD. All but one of my children are diagnosed with both.
It's also rather obvious looking back at my childhood and teenage years. Impulsivity was a major feature.
The vast majority of my traits are sensory so are things I can manage. I'm also much better at understanding how to recognise an impending meltdown. Learning about how your body feels etc and taking steps to prevent it. I still have them though.
I think the way I process emotion might be relevant, more so when I was a teen/in my 20's, I literally wouldn't be aware something was upsetting me or impacting me in any way and then suddenly something else would happen and there would be a huge emotional out pouring. I do a lot of analysing of emotions rather than just feeling them. I'm find it difficult to explain what I mean.
I suppose for me, I've gone this long without a diagnosis. I'm managing life OK and have been able to improve things I do have difficulty with through the research I've done due to my children being diagnosed. It's really helped me understand myself so I probably wouldn't gain anything from a diagnosis, apart from the peace of knowing for sure.
A bit of me feels sad for younger me though. It would have been useful to have such an understanding years ago when I was struggling and just didn't understand what was wrong with me.
It's also rather obvious looking back at my childhood and teenage years. Impulsivity was a major feature.
The vast majority of my traits are sensory so are things I can manage. I'm also much better at understanding how to recognise an impending meltdown. Learning about how your body feels etc and taking steps to prevent it. I still have them though.
I think the way I process emotion might be relevant, more so when I was a teen/in my 20's, I literally wouldn't be aware something was upsetting me or impacting me in any way and then suddenly something else would happen and there would be a huge emotional out pouring. I do a lot of analysing of emotions rather than just feeling them. I'm find it difficult to explain what I mean.
I suppose for me, I've gone this long without a diagnosis. I'm managing life OK and have been able to improve things I do have difficulty with through the research I've done due to my children being diagnosed. It's really helped me understand myself so I probably wouldn't gain anything from a diagnosis, apart from the peace of knowing for sure.
A bit of me feels sad for younger me though. It would have been useful to have such an understanding years ago when I was struggling and just didn't understand what was wrong with me.
I've been lurking on this thread since it started and I'm just going to say I am diagnosed autistic since age 7. But reading here, most, if not all of you have children and that to me implies some of you if in fact autistic must be on the high functioning end of the spectrum or a mild form such as Aspergers. I've never been able to form relationships never mind intimate ones and go through pregnancy! that's crazy 
this is no shame to any of you, but thought I'd add this here to anyone else who might be lurking. I'm nearly 30 never had friends, never had a boyfriend and can't keep in a job longer than a year. I have lived a very very different life to the vast majority of people. I live in a world I don't understand or feel comfortable in and everyday I am made conscious of it. Autism in my case has been a devastating condition and I consider myself as suffering greatly from the effects of it. Sometimes I feel people like me are often forgotten about because the spotlight is on the more "extroverted" autistic people. I do think over-diagnosis is a thing today. Where's as over 20 years ago when I was diagnosed, it was very hard to get diagnosed, especially if female.
this is no shame to any of you, but thought I'd add this here to anyone else who might be lurking. I'm nearly 30 never had friends, never had a boyfriend and can't keep in a job longer than a year. I have lived a very very different life to the vast majority of people. I live in a world I don't understand or feel comfortable in and everyday I am made conscious of it. Autism in my case has been a devastating condition and I consider myself as suffering greatly from the effects of it. Sometimes I feel people like me are often forgotten about because the spotlight is on the more "extroverted" autistic people. I do think over-diagnosis is a thing today. Where's as over 20 years ago when I was diagnosed, it was very hard to get diagnosed, especially if female.
BIB but that's the point. You're more "traditional" presenting. Whereas people like me were told I couldn't possibly have ADHD or autism because I was doing well at school and had friends. Except I mask all day every day. It's exhausting. I know how I am meant to behave so I do it. I don't want to, it isnt comfortable, but because I know it's what I'm meant to do I do it.I've been lurking on this thread since it started and I'm just going to say I am diagnosed autistic since age 7. But reading here, most, if not all of you have children and that to me implies some of you if in fact autistic must be on the high functioning end of the spectrum or a mild form such as Aspergers. I've never been able to form relationships never mind intimate ones and go through pregnancy! that's crazy
ETA I could say loads more but I really struggle to articulate myself.
What does BIB mean?. Yes I'd say us "traditional" autistic people are far less likely to mask as we simply don't possess the social skill of masking itself. Hence, it makes it incredibly difficult to form connections of any kind. I didn't join the thread to take away from anyone else's feelings and experiences, however felt it was fair to represent another part of spectrum on this thread
Of course, you have autistic people who can't walk, write, talk or feed themselves. I don't want to forget them either.
BIB = bit in bold. I highlighted part of your postWhat does BIB mean?. Yes I'd say us "traditional" autistic people are far less likely to mask as we simply don't possess the social skill of masking itself. Hence, it makes it incredibly difficult to form connections of any kind. I didn't join the thread to take away from anyone else's feelings and experiences, however felt it was fair to represent another part of spectrum on this thread
Of course, you have autistic people who can't walk, write, talk or feed themselves. I don't want to forget them either.