Anyone find looking young a curse?

[Everdene]

Not a curse but it is annoying when people don't take you seriously or belittle you because they think you are a teen.

I've been told I was too young to get married and asked if my parents gave permission while I was 26.

And I tagged along at 28 when my mom needed a formal gown and the shopkeeper exclaimed as we walked in: you must be here for a high school prom dress!

 

[Kim Mild]

Not a curse but it is annoying when people don't take you seriously or belittle you because they think you are a teen.

I've been told I was too young to get married and asked if my parents gave permission while I was 26.

And I tagged along at 28 when my mom needed a formal gown and the shopkeeper exclaimed as we walked in: you must be here for a high school prom dress!

I think they way people belittle people cos they think they are young is shocking. Why do they think someone in their teens or 20s deserves inferior treatment compared to someone in their 30s?

 

[supernintendochalmers]

I'm in my mid-20s and keep getting told that I look 18. Am currently working fulltime and always get asked if I'm studying. I do agree about people being patronising at times too.

 

[Kim Mild]

Teenagers in the Us are trying to buy dressing up as old people to buy alcohol now everyone is supposed to wear a mask

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http...BeSI5QRowzEDMR-cfyrTwsQKeFucGE39CE73Adb0A&s=1

 

[seaborgium]

When I had just turned twenty eight I was assumed to be in my mid-40s by someone and my then boyfriend my son (he was six months older) I did not look THAT old, but did make me think about myself and how I looked, which combined with depression, low self image and body dysmorphia I had for at least ten years by then, sent me spiralling downwards for a while.

These days I'm happier in myself, I can actually smile, take the odd selfie, and it shows that I am content in my own skin. People cannot believe I'm almost 42, some assume I'm even late 20s. I was in Sainsburys last year buying cider for a sausage casserole, and the staff member went from chatty to rude in 30 seconds! Assumed I was under 25, couldn't prove I wasn't, and gave me all sorts of crap for looking young! I complained, as shocking customer service, but got told well we do need to check if someone is under 25 (that wasn't my issue their attitude was).

 

[Kim Mild]

When I had just turned twenty eight I was assumed to be in my mid-40s by someone and my then boyfriend my son (he was six months older) I did not look THAT old, but did make me think about myself and how I looked, which combined with depression, low self image and body dysmorphia I had for at least ten years by then, sent me spiralling downwards for a while.

These days I'm happier in myself, I can actually smile, take the odd selfie, and it shows that I am content in my own skin. People cannot believe I'm almost 42, some assume I'm even late 20s. I was in Sainsburys last year buying cider for a sausage casserole, and the staff member went from chatty to rude in 30 seconds! Assumed I was under 25, couldn't prove I wasn't, and gave me all sorts of crap for looking young! I complained, as shocking customer service, but got told well we do need to check if someone is under 25 (that wasn't my issue their attitude was).

People should keep their perceptions to themselves, because what they say does have an impact on how we feel ,on the receiving end.

 

[seaborgium]

People should keep their perceptions to themselves, because what they say does have an impact on how we feel ,on the receiving end.

I totally agree. The age old assume makes an ass out of u and me springs to mind.

 

[Doneuplikeadogsdinner]

I’m 42 . I get asked for ID on occasion . I have a 25 year old daughter . I do know exactly what’s coming when meeting new people and they ask if you have any kids and ages etc.
I have always looked really young for my age and I obviously was a very young mum and did work hard not to care what anyone thought.
The honest truth at this age though ... absolutely bloody love looking younger , factor 50 every day to try to keep it that way .

 

[Kim Mild]

I’m 42 . I get asked for ID on occasion . I have a 25 year old daughter . I do know exactly what’s coming when meeting new people and they ask if you have any kids and ages etc.
I have always looked really young for my age and I obviously was a very young mum and did work hard not to care what anyone thought.
The honest truth at this age though ... absolutely bloody love looking younger , factor 50 every day to try to keep it that way .
[/QUOTE

It's so predictable what people say. Honestly if my teenager was younger, I'd probably just lie and say I was 30 instead of 37 .

 

[Trolleydollycoffeelover]

Yes- I love looking young but it made me unlucky in love I find. Men my age and slightly older weren’t interested in me from when I was18-mid 20 as they thought I was a teen, now in my mid 30s all the men of my similar age bracket are married and the mid 20 men assume I’m their age and we both run a mile when we realise each other’s ages or I get stupid MILF/ sugar mummy comments (I’m not a mum).

 

[Nolongerjustalurker]

I’m 29 and get IDed for everything - paracetamol, alcohol etc. I don’t mind that at all, I think it’s flattering, but I definitely think it’s a negative at work. I used to work at a university and so many times I would be in a meeting presenting something and then afterwards someone would ask me what I was studying. Or I get asked if I’m an intern/on work experience/assume a woman I manage (15 years older than me) is in charge. I worry that I don’t get taken seriously until people get to know me, and I’m so conscious of it at job interviews and external meetings. My mum also looks young for her age, when I was born my dad had a photo of her and I in the hospital on his desk at work, and someone asked my dad if that was his daughter and granddaughter!

 

[ChloChlo]

I don't find it a curse per se, however it can be frustrating when I don't get the items I have tried to buy and interestingly for the past two years due to a life changing incident I had to attend various classes, college courses etc with a variety of people from all walks of life, much of it based around very basic psychology, so I started paying more heed to people and I noticed people not much older than I am would try to "mother" me and look uncomfortable when I would reveal my age, others would almost exclude me from the groups they had formed which tended to have an age theme, what appeared to be my age group were very cliquey until I revealed my age. I felt many times I was taken for a silly child.

I am 36, I look young but personally would say no younger than 25, so feel shop assistants are often just being jobsworths as I regularly get refused items even with four kids in tow and when it is by someone who is a good 18 years younger than you, it can be a ballache

 

[Kim Mild]

I don't find it a curse per se, however it can be frustrating when I don't get the items I have tried to buy and interestingly for the past two years due to a life changing incident I had to attend various classes, college courses etc with a variety of people from all walks of life, much of it based around very basic psychology, so I started paying more heed to people and I noticed people not much older than I am would try to "mother" me and look uncomfortable when I would reveal my age, others would almost exclude me from the groups they had formed which tended to have an age theme, what appeared to be my age group were very cliquey until I revealed my age. I felt many times I was taken for a silly child.

I am 36, I look young but personally would say no younger than 25, so feel shop assistants are often just being jobsworths as I regularly get refused items even with four kids in tow and when it is by someone who is a good 18 years younger than you, it can be a ballache

How people treat others due to their perception is fascinating

 

[ChloChlo]

Definately.

Looking back, I think the most significant time where looking young was an actual curse though was while I was married to my ex husband, I was 24 and he was 40 when we got together and at 24 I looked really young, very easily a teenager while he didnt look too great for his age. He got alot of cradle snatching comments even from his own friends. When we were out people would assume he was my dad unless we were arm in arm.

On holiday, in particular it would always cause an issue for some reason, there was a girl who would get pissed at the bar every night when we went to Turkey who was only about 20 and would constantly hiss that my ex husband must be a paedophile and made a great deal out of how I looked "underaged" when I was older than she was! On another holiday, there was two middle aged Yorkshire women trying to chat him up at first in our hotel, when he didnt entertain them they became particularly bitchy to me during our stay, making comments the entire time that I was a just a little tart with a sugar daddy or I was "clearly only in it for the money" - he certainly wasnt loaded!

 

[Apple In My Pie]

I went to Disneyland when I was 19. Got asked how old I was by (lovely but genuinely fresh out of nursery school himself, bless) french boy on way into canteen one evening. Puzzled, ‘Nineteen’ I say. Then realised he was trying to work out if I was eligible for the ‘10 years old and younger’ dinner plan at the restaurant. Which was €30 cheaper. Mildly gutted I didn’t go along with it, mildly curious if I should go and try again as I feel I missed out

 

[cosmo girl]

Does anyone here get told they look younger than their age? I'm in my late 30s now and people often thing I'm early/mid 20s. ( Occasionally younger , I got I.ded for the lottery at 36).
It bothers me so much that people always comment when they find out how old I am because they've judged me based on how they think I look. It's becoming quite a problem now I have a teenager and apparently don't look old enough. I find it a rude thing to say.
I'd love for everyone to share their experiences.

I think once you turn 50 you will wish for these days back Take it as a compliment because you wont look young forever. It's really annoying when people get abusive to people who ask for ID when there jobs are on the line. Also people who work in shops/bars have a huge pressure from trading standards. They have to be very careful with ID. Some places it's challenge 30 and some challenge 25. They get so many test shoppers to check if you have ask someone for ID. If you fail its in the newspaper and you will lose your job and get a huge fine or your employer will get one.

 

[Mrs McCarthy]

I am in my mid-twenties and frequently get mistaken for a six former. Always get id-ed, which is frustrating. Since wearing a mask haven’t been id-ed, so might carry on doing that even after all this is over lol

 

[Kim Mild]

I think once you turn 50 you will wish for these days back Take it as a compliment because you wont look young forever. It's really annoying when people get abusive to people who ask for ID when there jobs are on the line. Also people who work in shops/bars have a huge pressure from trading standards. They have to be very careful with ID. Some places it's challenge 30 and some challenge 25. They get so many test shoppers to check if you have ask someone for ID. If you fail its in the newspaper and you will lose your job and get a huge fine or your employer will get one.

I don't think I'll ever wish to be back at a time when people treat me in a certain, inferior way or belittle/patronise me or embarrass my teenager because of what age they think I look .
I understand the need to be vigilant in terms of age restricted sales , it's not the asking for proof of age I have a problem with , it's the comments based on my appearance, they make after ( which I find unprofessional ).
Unless you've been in the situation where people misjudge your age on a regular basis , you won't understand

I am in my mid-twenties and frequently get mistaken for a six former. Always get id-ed, which is frustrating. Since wearing a mask haven’t been id-ed, so might carry on doing that even after all this is over lol

I was wondering if mask wearing would make a difference

Definately.

Looking back, I think the most significant time where looking young was an actual curse though was while I was married to my ex husband, I was 24 and he was 40 when we got together and at 24 I looked really young, very easily a teenager while he didnt look too great for his age. He got alot of cradle snatching comments even from his own friends. When we were out people would assume he was my dad unless we were arm in arm.

On holiday, in particular it would always cause an issue for some reason, there was a girl who would get pissed at the bar every night when we went to Turkey who was only about 20 and would constantly hiss that my ex husband must be a paedophile and made a great deal out of how I looked "underaged" when I was older than she was! On another holiday, there was two middle aged Yorkshire women trying to chat him up at first in our hotel, when he didnt entertain them they became particularly bitchy to me during our stay, making comments the entire time that I was a just a little tart with a sugar daddy or I was "clearly only in it for the money" - he certainly wasnt loaded!

How did your ex-husband react to all this ? I think it's disrespectful to comment about someone's appearance

 

[ChloChlo]

How did your ex-husband react to all this ? I think it's disrespectful to comment about someone's appearance

Not very well at all. He was very confrontational, which I agree, if you are being called a paedophile or something along those lines it would probably be very difficult not to react. However his way was always with aggression, although reactive, it isn't always the way to deal with things. The Turkish incident nearly ended up with me being arrested abroad as he wanted me to sort the young girl out at the bar - I'm not the fighting type but he was very abusive to me so I had to sort it or I would have got abuse over it, if you know where I'm coming from.

It just added more stress to an already very abusive relationship!

 

[HoneyBee29]

I hated it more when I was younger. When I was going to clubs at 18 I looked about 14/15 I always was asked for I.D right up until I was 25/26. I’m now 29 and married and when I tell people who don’t know me that I’m married their always like aren’t you a bit too young to be married which kind of annoys me but aside from that doesn’t really bother me much anymore