Annoying things your work colleagues do all the time? #9

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Today I’m annoyed by one way relationships. My boss phoning to download onto me about how nobody cares about them personally, doesn’t realise they have a life…while at the same time not acknowledging that I’ve just come back from holiday or saying “how was it?”. So one way and I just don’t care for it.
 
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Coworker sent a confidential, government restricted document to the customer via unsecured email and copied about a dozen people, including some of our managers and multiple others outside the company.
That's grounds for immediate termination.
JFC
 
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I'm in a teams chat with over 100 people. I hate it when a question is asked like "does anyone have experience of x? If yes please contact me" Say it's "baking cakes", the chat will then be flooded with various responses like no, not me, sorry I can't help, I baked a cake once, I can't bake cakes but I can bake bread, I ate a cake once.... having to read through various different no's. I suppose it's good that the person asking the question isn't being ignored but this happens multiple times a week!
 
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Oh I'm always amused at the titles people give themselves on LinkedIn. A guy I worked with apparently ran the department we worked in together - we were at the same level. This title he gave himself would come as a surprise to the head of the department and indeed his direct reports, who were all several grades above both of us.
 
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I’m on call today and a work colleague who is super annoying has gone into my task list and started interfering with it! just leave it alone ffs it’s nowt to do with her! also I’ve decided to drop my work hours (due to my health condition not out of choice) and my work colleague is pissed at me as the day off my boss has given me is the day she would have originally liked due to her lack of childcare sorry but whilst I sympathise her childcare situation is not my problem! Anyway she’s been funny with me since this was apparent final rant! I had a free slot in my clinic today and a colleague has booked last minute extra work into it for me instead of leaving it free how nice of em eh! said person has had such an easy week too!
 
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People who don't seem to know the difference between "download" and "upload". I was told to go into a customer portal to download documents. I asked where on the customer portal the documents are located so I can download them. The answer was, we are to provide them with our documents. That's UPload!!
 
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Me: What's happened here? Oh, you've changed the methodology and tariffs without warning or approval. You know that'll render any data points impossible to compare and that if it's attempted, it'll make everybody look like they're doing a shit job?

Them: I don't care, it's easier this way.

Me: Okaaayyyyy. <sends off email to manager making sure they're aware of the consequences> <manager confirms they are aware of this, as is executive level, who have decided it's totally unimportant and won't make any difference at all>

Me: Here's the most recent data. As I previously said, it's not possible to compare to the previous data point due to the change in methodology and tariffs. And that's why it appears that performance has plummeted.

Radio silence.




Other person: <knocks on door> Can you help me with this? <forwards email from executive level>

Me: So they're wanting you to 'explain yourself' because the comparison between the two data points makes it look as though you are doing a shit job? With zero notice or an actual copy of the datasets for you to refer to or show that the original information is now utter junk?

Other person: Yep.

Me: Conveniently enough, I can replicate the analysis using only the current methodology to provide a direct comparison between the two dates. Would you like me to provide that information to you?

Other person: Oh, yes please.

Me: I take payment in plants, posh coffee and snacks. Tuesday morning at 10am alright for you to go through it?

Other person: Just how big a plant, coffee and snacks are we thinking of?
 
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The one guy who cannot for the life of him enter a project correctly. Then he contacts me asking for help cleaning up the huge mess he created. And he legitimately has no idea what he did wrong despite being trained multiple times and having the instructions document open to refer to.
I'm about ready to just offer to enter the projects for him. He should be able to do it himself, but I figure it would be worth the few minutes of extra work to not have to spend two hours fixing his screw ups every time.
 
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Maybe that’s his plan, get you to do his work
 
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Maybe that’s his plan, get you to do his work
Whilst being paid more on the basis that he enters the projects, most likely.
Yeah, I'm not the one making $140,000 US per year.
But honestly, I think he just can't figure out how to use the system. Have you ever met someone who's brilliant in their field of study but can't figure out how to heat up a microwave meal? I think that's him.
 
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They always describe geniuses as having no common sense...
 
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They always describe geniuses as having no common sense...
That's my oldest brother. Genius level IQ. Mensa level intelligence. Zero common sense.
This man at work is brilliant in his field but put a computer in front of him and ask him to do basic data entry or respond to emails and he's lost.
 
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My annoying thing today is people using the kitchen as a meeting room for calls then getting annoyed at me for using the microwave because it's noisy
Or glare at you if you're talking/laughing too loudly with your workmates while on your break, in the lunch room, that is designed for relaxing in on your break!!!
 
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Jesus Christ if my secretary doesn't stop complaining about the water not being cold enough in the new cooler, I'm gonna flip!

It's been non-stop for nearly two weeks.
 
Jesus Christ if my secretary doesn't stop complaining about the water not being cold enough in the new cooler, I'm gonna flip!

It's been non-stop for nearly two weeks.
Given the state of the world today I think I might be reminding them of their privilege and telling them to STFU.
 
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Carefully researched report with clear cost-benefit analysis, risk assessment and two potential courses of action done.

Apparently, it's not good enough (probably because it doesn't agree with whatever the boss has been told by some other blagging twat who likes to sound big and important).

Manager (who is perfectly happy with what I produced and has been a project manager himself, so fully appreciates all the work that goes into these things) is told to conduct his own research.

As an experiment, he sticks it into ChatGPT. Everything is the same but just looks a bit different. And, of course, the AI now has my work in its datasets.


Suddenly, it's great.

FML.
 
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Manager A: this report is regarding project XYZ
Project Manager A: is this report regarding project XYZ?
How TF do these dingbats get $150,000 jobs while I'm stuck earning half???
 
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