Oh god, I'm so guilty of this one and quite a few others already mentioned"Just checking we are singing from the same hymn sheet" is what I see or hear at least once a day
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Where to begin...
My boss on teams ALWAYS has his headset on...with the speaking part up by his ears and not by his mouth so you can't hear him!. He also seems to talk with alot of air coming out of his mouth because he sounds like he is blowing air out when talking so you can't hear him. Havnt worked out how to tell him about the second issue.
Other jargon
Reach out
Low hanging fruit
Thought shower
Il ping you an email
My boss on teams ALWAYS has his headset on...with the speaking part up by his ears and not by his mouth so you can't hear him!. He also seems to talk with alot of air coming out of his mouth because he sounds like he is blowing air out when talking so you can't hear him. Havnt worked out how to tell him about the second issue.
Other jargon
Reach out
Low hanging fruit
Thought shower
Il ping you an email
omg thought shower, wtf is that?! who comes up with this rubbish?!Where to begin...
My boss on teams ALWAYS has his headset on...with the speaking part up by his ears and not by his mouth so you can't hear him!. He also seems to talk with alot of air coming out of his mouth because he sounds like he is blowing air out when talking so you can't hear him. Havnt worked out how to tell him about the second issue.
Other jargon
Reach out
Low hanging fruit
Thought shower
Il ping you an email
"There's no I in team!"
Yeah? Well there's no I in twit either. FO!
Yeah? Well there's no I in twit either. FO!
Hahhahahhaha this is SO ACCURATE
‘It’s for your development’ no, no one else wants to do it and you’re too tight to replace the person who’s left!!!!
Oh dear... I'm very guilty of this one, but my excuse is that I'm a project manager, specialising in Agile projects... my life is Agile!I'm really sick of everything having to be "agile"
Agile is a methodology though so...
...if you’re working agile, you’re working agile.
I am out of agile after a year working properly to it and feck me the old school alternatives are clunky, cumbersome, process driven, slow and hierarchy obsessed.
...if you’re working agile, you’re working agile.I am out of agile after a year working properly to it and feck me the old school alternatives are clunky, cumbersome, process driven, slow and hierarchy obsessed.
Yes - to be fair, when I think about it my problem isn't with agile as a concept, it's with the people who say "we're doing this agile" when it's blatantly just a word they've heard because it's definitely not what they're doing.
Thought shower?! Holy Christ
"I think we're pole vaulting over mouse turds here"
exactly, providing some cheap sandwiches doesn't compensate having to miss my lunch break
it is really like there is some kind of global business competiiton to make up the most insane expressions
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"Thus far" 
Why not just say "so far" or "this far"
Why not just say "so far" or "this far"
"Lets rally up the troops"
The word roadmap is becoming used more and more where I work. "We need a roadmap for this admin task that we do year on year" piss off with your road maps! I don't want nothing to do with the A-Z
"Let's talk turkey"
"Road Map"
"Perfect Storm"
"Deintegrate"
"Tee off/Up"
"Let's Mind Meld"
"Run it up the flagpole"
"Ramp up"
....were just a few my ex boss used to come up with just to underline how "in" he was with corporate twatspeak.
"Road Map"
"Perfect Storm"
"Deintegrate"
"Tee off/Up"
"Let's Mind Meld"
"Run it up the flagpole"
"Ramp up"
....were just a few my ex boss used to come up with just to underline how "in" he was with corporate twatspeak.
“Let’s all branch out into breakout rooms”
Ahahaah mind meld! Are we all Vulcans? (Currently binge watching Star Trek at the moment
)What is the context of “let’s talk turkey?”
It's even worse when it's a 'brown bag lunch meeting' - usually meaning you bring your own packed lunch. Cheap skates.