Anger

[Missdissapointed]

Hi all guess I’m just at the end of my tether.. I have come to realise that I am so so so angry. It takes very little to throw me over the edge. I’m not violent and I don’t like confrontation but I get strong urges to smash things or hurt myself (not cutting) when I’m angry. I have terrible road rage and I just can’t stop myself. I have little patience. Other aspects of my life I’m a ‘yes’ person, I really struggle to say ‘no’. I’m that much of a horrible angry person that the slightest things can tip me over the edge and I frequently when in a mist of anger wish the person dead, never about my family or friends but more often than not a stranger who I have had an argument with. I left a 6 year long abusive relationship coming up to 3 years ago and that has left me full of anxiety. Obviously these symptoms worsen when I’m due on my period and to be frank, I could light a match and set the world on fire. When I am in a rage, I literally give ZERO fucks about anything which is quite worrying. If you’ve ever dealt with this type of feeling, please tell me how you managed it? I’m currently on 100mg sertraline but I am not great at managing this. If I was to use an emoji to describe myself this would be it -

please don’t be to harsh, I have spent the day either pacing my house or lay in bed crying because I cannot live like this anymore.

 

[LittleMy]

My anxiety often presents itself in outbursts of anger and rage. I also suspect I might have PMDD, as I have the most intense mood swings in the week leading up to my period. After I get my period, things usually level out again but until then I often feel so bad that I want to kill myself. I don’t have any advice really, just to say I know (to some extent) how you feel. I hate the person I become during, I’m typically a calm and patient person by nature so I feel a great deal of guilt for the way I behave despite not having any control over it.

 

[Oohthedrama]

stop feeling guilty,
you’re feeling shit about your behaviour and you want to change it, that should be enough for you to forgive yourself for your actions or thoughts. It’s in the past. Draw a line and start from now.
You’re anonymous but I can’t be easy typing this all out and admitting to how you feel and sometimes act

Get to your GP, your medication is clearly not helping, OR, you’re not giving it’s a chance to help if you’re not taking it correctly?
but you really need to get medical advice if you’re not taking your dose correctly, and before you can change that antidepressant (if necessary) you need to deal with your reluctance to take it or it won’t help anyway

with. I left a 6 year long abusive relationship coming up to 3 years ago and that has left me full of anxiety.

well that’s a whole baggage of shit you need to unpack, you don’t just walk away and that’s that,
The end, all better.
Far from it.

you’re not angry because you’re a bitch, you’re angry because you’re struggling, it can get better but not on your own!
First port of call needs to be your GPget referred to a MH health professional (which can take a long time ) and maybe get someone else involved in your care plan until then? A family member of friend? Even if it’s just to check in with you and remind you to take your meds?
Give them a chance to work before you feel like things are hopeless.

I would suggest using a stress ball or pinging an elastic band on your wrist when you feel yourself becoming anxious and angry, both advised regularly, Along with scribbling on paper/ripping paper,

but I never find those things helpful
it works for some I’m sure

good luck xx

 

[Bellaboo83]

It's really strange because I would notice my anger was worse when I was due on too, and I have all these other strong quite debilitating emotional symptoms the week before my period also and I had thought something extra was going on hormone wise but it was dismissed by a gyne doctor when I had a colposcopy (for bleeding the week before my period every month) who said everyone's hormones fluctuate and that was that. I had started researching whether it could be pcos or something similar and I'd never heard of PMDD before this thread tonight! I'm going to look into it properly now, Thank you all

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I get angry when I’m anxious and I hate it. I’m rude, snappy and just down right horrible at times. I honesltly hate that my anxiety presents like this, I get so ashamed of my behaviour which then adds to the anxiety and thinking everyone hates me and would be better off if I was gone. I also find it’s worse leading up to my period, and then sometimes when my period comes it’s like the anger/anxiety just melts away and I feel somewhat level headed for a week or so. It’s made me dread what’s to come when the menopause eventually hits.

I’m working on being more mindful and trying to catch myself but it’s hard when the feeling is so overwhelming and the only war I can describe it is feeling trapped in the emotion, even small things can send me over the edge sometimes. It’s a work in progress but I beat myself up something rotten if I feel I’ve acted poorly because I feel the people around me shouldn’t be subjected to it.

I think seeing your gp and trying different medication and asking for therapy is a good shout as the one you’re on clearly isn’t working. Maybe write a list of everything you’ve described here, the more detail your doctor has the better they can help and give you more appropriate meds. Writing a list can save time and ensure you don’t forget anything. Also if you get upset like I do when talking to the gp about this stuff it’s easier to just hand the list over and then they can ask further questions. In the mean time though, you could try looking at mindfulness techniques. They can often help ground you when you feel overcome with an emotion and help you regain control of your feelings. It’s something you have to learn but can be quite effective and there’s plenty of tips online.

 

[cedarpeach]

I’m really sorry to hear this. What most stood out to me is the fact that you are a “yes” person. It’s no shock that you react with anger when you feel walked over by people. In my opinion, unless you work on setting assertive boundaries in the rest of your life and stop avoiding (healthy, productive) disagreements and confrontation you will continue to blow up. Until you can freely and openly express your true feelings you will keep getting angry.

Anger is often a mask for anxiety and frustration when you feel unable to express your feelings honestly. It’s common to blow up when you spend all your time saying yes to people and ignoring your own feelings, needs and wants. The fact that you endured an abusive relationship (I did, too) probably means that you have totally compromised sense of self esteem.

I would really recommend getting therapy if you’re able to. A good therapist/counsellor will work with you on how to overcome anger, become assertive and set boundaries. There’s also some really good resources online about recovering from abuse.

good luck, and dont be hard on yourself.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Hi all guess I’m just at the end of my tether.. I have come to realise that I am so so so angry. It takes very little to throw me over the edge. I’m not violent and I don’t like confrontation but I get strong urges to smash things or hurt myself (not cutting) when I’m angry. I have terrible road rage and I just can’t stop myself. I have little patience. Other aspects of my life I’m a ‘yes’ person, I really struggle to say ‘no’. I’m that much of a horrible angry person that the slightest things can tip me over the edge and I frequently when in a mist of anger wish the person dead, never about my family or friends but more often than not a stranger who I have had an argument with. I left a 6 year long abusive relationship coming up to 3 years ago and that has left me full of anxiety. Obviously these symptoms worsen when I’m due on my period and to be frank, I could light a match and set the world on fire. When I am in a rage, I literally give ZERO fucks about anything which is quite worrying. If you’ve ever dealt with this type of feeling, please tell me how you managed it? I’m currently on 100mg sertraline but I am not great at managing this. If I was to use an emoji to describe myself this would be it -

please don’t be to harsh, I have spent the day either pacing my house or lay in bed crying because I cannot live like this anymore.

I have struggled with anger issues. I also struggled loads before my period, might be worth looking into premenstrual dysmorphic disorder? Counselling has helped loads, but it took a long time. Exercise is also a massive help for me too.

 

[Raininvain]

I've had it really badly.
Go back to the Drs and ask for a medication review and also counselling, like people have said. Also try to work out the various things in your life that are upsetting you and try to work out ways forward with them.
Start doing exercise- anything to get you out of the house, even walking a mile or two will improve your mood. Force yourself to get out and about where there is fresh air. It does make all the difference from being stuck in the house.
Also if you drink alcohol/ take drugs, then stop because they make things like mood swings etc worse. X

 

[Hazel1593]

My partner suffers with bouts of anger after growing up with a narcissistic mother. He spoke to his GP who recommend he refer himself to a local counselling service. He called the service who asked him about his problem and have put him on a waiting list for therapy. He said simply talking to the lady on the other end of the phone about everything felt like a weight being lifted for him. I would definitely look into what services your local area has to offer. One thing that also helps him is to keep a tally chart which details how many days he has gone without an outburst. Seeing the days without anger increasing on the chart is a good motivator for him. If he does have an outburst and has to wipe the chart clean, this makes him more determined to stay calm next time he’s triggered.

 

[ChloChlo]

I can totally relate! My anger got me sentenced.

Before my 4th child I was on 7 different medications (I was only kept on valium and pregabalin throughout my pregnancy and thereafter) Sertraline was one of them and to be honest it made any underlining anger worse for me. Upon investigating side effects further I found it to be quite common with this particular medication.

I would ask your doctor to review your medication. Pregabalin (heavy duty nerve medication sometimes used to treat anxiety) worked wonders as often my anger stemmed from anxiety. Perhaps ask to try something else.

I too was in a very abusive marriage which I had to flee from and 7 years on I still suffer with my PTSD.

 

[totallytaz]

I really admire your frankness in the post.

Whilst it’s not surges of anger that I get, I do get impulsive rushes of negative emotions around a week before my period is due. If me and my boyfriend have a disagreement, some voices in my head will tell me I should die, then I get an overwhelming feeling of breathlessness and feel the need to escape.

The trivial argument followed by my feelings and how I react have no logical connection.

Usually I’ll not sleep the whole night, then at 4am I’ll sneak out to the balcony and just stare into the sky, taking deep breaths and feeling helpless.

I think you’re suffering from heavy PMS also.

 

[caitlinbullen]

Hi all guess I’m just at the end of my tether.. I have come to realise that I am so so so angry. It takes very little to throw me over the edge. I’m not violent and I don’t like confrontation but I get strong urges to smash things or hurt myself (not cutting) when I’m angry. I have terrible road rage and I just can’t stop myself. I have little patience. Other aspects of my life I’m a ‘yes’ person, I really struggle to say ‘no’. I’m that much of a horrible angry person that the slightest things can tip me over the edge and I frequently when in a mist of anger wish the person dead, never about my family or friends but more often than not a stranger who I have had an argument with. I left a 6 year long abusive relationship coming up to 3 years ago and that has left me full of anxiety. Obviously these symptoms worsen when I’m due on my period and to be frank, I could light a match and set the world on fire. When I am in a rage, I literally give ZERO fucks about anything which is quite worrying. If you’ve ever dealt with this type of feeling, please tell me how you managed it? I’m currently on 100mg sertraline but I am not great at managing this. If I was to use an emoji to describe myself this would be it -

please don’t be to harsh, I have spent the day either pacing my house or lay in bed crying because I cannot live like this anymore.

I’m no expert but personally I’d print off your post and take it with you to your GP and ask for help. You might be referred to some kind of counselling to unpack your feelings and attitudes, maybe CBT? I dunno as I say I’m no expert, but I think the fact that you know it’s a problem is a positive thing, and professional help is something that you deserve. Best wishes xxxx

 

[Bellaboo83]

I used to get blasts of anger when I first came out an emotionally abusive relationship, I would get very angry when he triggered me via messages and I would get the road rage like you. I was put on propranolol which (I think) kind of keeps your adrenaline levels down and that keeps your heart beat steady so you don't get the racing heart and fight or flight response from a huge adrenaline release and then need to explode. I would say I feel a lot calmer because its difficult to get too angry when your body isn't getting angry with you, if you know what I mean, talk to your doctor xx

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I had an awful temper very much like yours, i was so angry and quick to rage. I ended up with a diagnosis of BPD; my anxiety shows up as temper, and I also suspect I have PMDD (but its proven hard to get that addressed).

I would discuss your concerns with your GP. Being angry can feel so suffocating.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

This might sound odd, but do you maybe suffer from high blood pressure. This can cause the red mist to descend.

I would definitely go to your GP though.