been with my boyfriend upwards of 5 years and we decided to get each other actual treats the other person would want for Christmas, he got me a Chanel perfume (35ml - 57 quid) and I got him a present he had asked for that was around 100 quid (bear in mind there was also an option to get a cheaper one for 70 but he asked for the largest) but came from America so i had to pay tax and shipping, the whole thing cost me about 150 (which he knew) so when he just told me I got the 35 ml i was a bit miffed tbh I mean I didn't think he'd get me the 100ml (120 quid) but i thought the 50ml would been appropriate (80 pounds) I honestly don't mean to sound ungrateful but I feel a bit annoyed ? its out of order he'd ask for something for 150 but skimped on mine idk maybe im just being a bit of a brat but i wanted some opinions x
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He might have gotten you something else to go with it that you dont know about yet ?
I can see where you're coming from especially because he knew how much you spent on him. Maybe in the future you should both set a certain amount to spend on each other, my partner and I always spend the same amount on each other for birthdays & Christmas which is £150 
Hopefully he has got you something else that he will give you at Christmas!
Hopefully he has got you something else that he will give you at Christmas!
It’s not Christmas yet !!
this is exactly why we chose the specific presents to get each other in the first place so we’d spend the same! Maybe you’re right in terms of being more concreted about it, nothing will get done if I moan about it might just have a conversation with him just mentioning I was a bit dismayed about it, thankyou xI can see where you're coming from especially because he knew how much you spent on him. Maybe in the future you should both set a certain amount to spend on each other, my partner and I always spend the same amount on each other for birthdays & Christmas which is £150
Hopefully he has got you something else that he will give you at Christmas!
!!! exactly if it was present I didn’t know about there’s no way I’d say this because it’s more about him actually buying presents and being nice to me however this was specifically ones we’d chosen and asked each other about as a treat, thanks for the reassurance
definitely considered this! But we did agree to avoid costs getting too high and to be practical we’d only buy eachother those specific things x
My boyfriend and I don’t have limits (we have no children etc) so we will just buy what we can afford.
I don’t actually think the price of it matters and it’s the thought that counts plus he may have bought you something else to maybe open on the day? But I feel it is a little insensitive to be annoyed as everyone’s finances are different to each other’s.
Just my opinion
I don’t actually think the price of it matters and it’s the thought that counts plus he may have bought you something else to maybe open on the day? But I feel it is a little insensitive to be annoyed as everyone’s finances are different to each other’s.
Just my opinion
i mean this is the issue, the reason we picked out specific present was for them to be around the same price (give or take a few quid) with both of our finances in mind (should’ve made that more clear in the op) also remember we have been out for more than five years like I clearly know what he can and can’t afford (also consider I only work part time and he works full time - yet he expected me to buy a present worth 150)
also I can’t stress I know I’m lucky I have someone that cares enough to get a present I want I was just a little upset about it and wanted to know if anyone had similar situations!
I’m married now and he will ask how much I’ve spent on him so he will match it or more usually depends
We don't really pick a price range or anything, we just get each other a few bits and bobs that we know each other will like.
I'd not be too sad if he didn't spend as much as me.
I think it's 100% the thought that counts. He still got you something you wanted, and you never know he may surprise you with something else as well!
I'd not be too sad if he didn't spend as much as me.
I think it's 100% the thought that counts. He still got you something you wanted, and you never know he may surprise you with something else as well!
Honestly sometimes i think this kind of stuff can go over mens heads without a second thought.
I suppose you should of been more specific with the amount spent and said 'yeah ill get you that one but it costs more so get me the 50ml instead'.
Is he particularly tight with his money usually?
I suppose you should of been more specific with the amount spent and said 'yeah ill get you that one but it costs more so get me the 50ml instead'.
Is he particularly tight with his money usually?
In the nicest way possible, I think your being unreasonable. If you specifically wanted a certain size you should have asked for it. Plus at £23 for an extra 13ml! Idk it seems like you're upset more about the money than about the actual size of the bottle. Not saying any of this in a nasty way 
I would be annoyed especially as he knew how much I was spending on his. I’d have expected a bigger bottle too or a second gift to make up the money. Have you mentioned the difference in cost?
I absolutely appreciate others comments about setting a budget or spending what you can afford. It seems like he could have afforded more than the perfume.
I’ve been with my husband 9 years and while we don’t set a budget as such, it’s usually what we want/can afford. One year I got him a PS4 for Christmas. Another year he got me a kitchen aid for my birthday. It used to vary massively and mostly depended on what we wanted, not necessarily on what the other was spending. Is there something else he could have got you? Maybe he didn’t want to get something just for the sake of it or literally couldn’t think of anything else. If I was you, you’ve been together long enough to be honest, say that you feel it’s a little unfair/unexpected and see how he responds. Maybe he is waiting for you to suggest something else he can get for you?
I absolutely appreciate others comments about setting a budget or spending what you can afford. It seems like he could have afforded more than the perfume.
I’ve been with my husband 9 years and while we don’t set a budget as such, it’s usually what we want/can afford. One year I got him a PS4 for Christmas. Another year he got me a kitchen aid for my birthday. It used to vary massively and mostly depended on what we wanted, not necessarily on what the other was spending. Is there something else he could have got you? Maybe he didn’t want to get something just for the sake of it or literally couldn’t think of anything else. If I was you, you’ve been together long enough to be honest, say that you feel it’s a little unfair/unexpected and see how he responds. Maybe he is waiting for you to suggest something else he can get for you?
I think this could also be a possibility. My partner never knows what to buy me so I make him a list online, the site is called wishlistr.com and it's super easy to make. Maybe OP can add a few ideas on there as a hint to him?
I would probably be a bit miffed but from my past relationship I'm used to spending £150+ on him and not even getting a card let alone a present. I'd be grateful for a bottle of perfume at this point no matter what it cost. Every situation is different but he should probably have gotten the bigger perfume or hopefully he's bought you something else.
He should have got the bigger one. I'd look at the bigger picture now, if hes very generous generally I'd let it go. Otherwise I'd tell him now straight I want the remainder of my present for Xmas or the cash in a card.
not particularly but we tend to go halves on basically everything anyway because that’s just how we like to do stuff!
But yes I 100% agree that I didn’t realise or take into account the fact he probably just bought the first one he saw online and didn’t pay much attention to it or how it’d make me feel,
dont worry love no offence taken, I did ask for opinions after all!In the nicest way possible, I think your being unreasonable. If you specifically wanted a certain size you should have asked for it. Plus at £23 for an extra 13ml! Idk it seems like you're upset more about the money than about the actual size of the bottle. Not saying any of this in a nasty way
Also I did ask for the specific size! And tbh yeah I think I am, or tbh the fact that it seems he’s not rlly listened to methankyou
He could’ve and that’s specifically the reason we set the budget for each other, yeah I think those are all really good points to consider and I am just going to have a little chat, like you said were very close so it’s not something I feel uncomfortable with doing xlol this was my initial response, he generally is alright with me in terms of buying stuff it’s usually just small things (if we’re on a day out he’ll buy me lunch or smth of the sort) so I think it’s just an honest mistake
In terms of him not knowing the price difference and picking the first one / he just didn’t think I’d feel this much about it
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I genuinely think he’s got you a surprise to open on Christmas Day like an “ahhh you thought you were only getting that perfume!”
My reply earlier was not to come across horrible in any way.
Regarding finances I live alone and pay around £800 in bills as soon as I get paid, my boyfriend lives at home so obviously has a lot less to fork out on but last Christmas I spent about £300 on a city break for us (which still hasn’t gone ahead due to covid) and he probably spent half of that on me but I have never questioned it as he spoils me rotten throughout the year whether it’s meals out etc or just simply being lovely.
I honestly think the thought counts a lot more than the expense, especially while the world is in such a state this year.
My reply earlier was not to come across horrible in any way.
Regarding finances I live alone and pay around £800 in bills as soon as I get paid, my boyfriend lives at home so obviously has a lot less to fork out on but last Christmas I spent about £300 on a city break for us (which still hasn’t gone ahead due to covid) and he probably spent half of that on me but I have never questioned it as he spoils me rotten throughout the year whether it’s meals out etc or just simply being lovely.
I honestly think the thought counts a lot more than the expense, especially while the world is in such a state this year.
If you’ve been together 5 years and he’s comfortable enough to ask you for the biggest/most expensive version of whatever it was you got him, maybe he just took you at face value when you said you wanted that size? (I think that’s what you said above) maybe he thought you wanted a smaller one for your bag or something idk? Is he normally stingy with gifts/do you usually spend more or is this a one off? I would wait and see in case he did get you something else tbh!
He got you exactly what you asked for. If you knew his was coming to around £150 you should have told him it'd be more appropriate to get the bigger size. He's not a mind reader! So yes, I think you're being a bit unreasonable (not to let him off the hook, he shouldn't have asked for a larger size if it was going to cost so much more than your present).