Alfie Deyes #8 Condom hat, kendama twat

[Youtubegossip]

If you think about it, flogging crappy merchandise online is really all he’s been consistent with for years. Before this recent attempt to ‘age up’ we had years of ‘PB merch’ drops, each painstakingly designed (“logo there”) softer (‘so soft it’s ridiculous guys’) and more ‘exclusive’ then the last (“we will never make more of the purple hoodies again!”) than the last... it being Alfie there was only the vaguest brand identity. Did the logo change at some point ? He threw out such random stuff...the ‘sorry about my hair’ beanie he ripped off a viewer, that god awful calendar - as an ‘exclusive.’ It was such a transparent way to make money off any old tat. And the Sugg life ‘collaboration’? Lol

Wow I’m amazed I’ve managed to reminisce about PB merch... But it’s funny how Alfie wants to be seen as photographer/videographer/podcaster/inspirational speaker/Fortune 500 CEO whatever ... but realistically if you looked at money earned and time spent on any of these pursuits, I think shilling junk to 12 years olds may be the closest he’s ever come to a job ...

The way he’s been allowed to false advertise is disgusting. The merch that was only ever going to be sold at his pop up shop and if you missed it you missed it.

then his pop up shop was a flop so he stuck it online. Can you imagine a big company doing that, there would be uproar

really hope he gets hit with these new Coppa rules. Even though he insists his audience aren’t kids they are

 

[Too Much]

Re: his vlogmas fail(s), I think he's telling himself that his audience broke their side of the 'contract' by not watching (low views), so he's entitled to break his side and not upload consistently (ongoing tantrum).

 

[thenomad]

If you think about it, flogging crappy merchandise online is really all he’s been consistent with for years. Before this recent attempt to ‘age up’ we had years of ‘PB merch’ drops, each painstakingly designed (“logo there”) softer (‘so soft it’s ridiculous guys’) and more ‘exclusive’ then the last (“we will never make more of the purple hoodies again!”) than the last... it being Alfie there was only the vaguest brand identity. Did the logo change at some point ? He threw out such random stuff...the ‘sorry about my hair’ beanie he ripped off a viewer, that god awful calendar - as an ‘exclusive.’ It was such a transparent way to make money off any old tat. And the Sugg life ‘collaboration’? Lol

Wow I’m amazed I’ve managed to reminisce about PB merch... But it’s funny how Alfie wants to be seen as photographer/videographer/podcaster/inspirational speaker/Fortune 500 CEO whatever ... but realistically if you looked at money earned and time spent on any of these pursuits, I think shilling junk to 12 years olds may be the closest he’s ever come to a job ...

True. Future’s Elf is really PB Merch 2.0, no matter how Alfie spins it. Nothing has really changed other than trying to make it more skater and instead of sticker or pins he now sells toys like the ‘highly in-demand’ kendama and premium linen playing cards.

The way he’s been allowed to false advertise is disgusting. The merch that was only ever going to be sold at his pop up shop and if you missed it you missed it.

then his pop up shop was a flop so he stuck it online. Can you imagine a big company doing that, there would be uproar

really hope he gets hit with these new Coppa rules. Even though he insists his audience aren’t kids they are

Ahh who can forget how successful his pop up shop was. Being super empty and having his girlfriend come in and buy stuff she’ll never wear and then later moving that unsold stock online. So busy he was able to take an hour long lunch. He probably thinks his not-merchandise brand is on the same scale as Supreme and Yeezys.

Re: his vlogmas fail(s), I think he's telling himself that his audience broke their side of the 'contract' by not watching (low views), so he's entitled to break his side and not upload consistently (ongoing tantrum).

He’s been having low views for some time and there is a past vlog where he is very much aware of it and talks about it. So if he’s going to try to blame it on his audience... It won’t work. He’s on borrowed time.

 

[Mlb46]

I am HOWLING at this, this is a guy called Sammy Paul (who is also a YouTuber), who is friends will Dodie, Hazel, Tomska, Jack and Dean etc. (These are my fave group of friends on youtube ngl so I might be biased with how funny this is)

Every year they decorate a tree together, and LOOK AT WHAT THEY PUT AT THE TOP

His insta is icoepr for anyone who wants a look

 

[Youtubegossip]

Alfie posted an hour ago saying good morning... that’s about midday there. Making the most as usually I see

 

[CreepySheepy]

Gotta plug that FutureSelf merch, besides their low engagement followers probably didn't plan their trip for them liked they requested, and I find it likely that no New York brands care enough about Zalfie to gift them an experience. How can they do anything if other people aren't pulling their weight and doing their part.

 

[coconochanel]

Gotta plug that FutureSelf merch, besides their low engagement followers probably didn't plan their trip for them liked they requested, and I find it likely that no New York brands care enough about Zalfie to gift them an experience. How can they do anything if other people aren't pulling their weight and doing their part.

He's bought along two kendamas that he's going to leave somewhere around NY for his NY fans to go and find. He's that desperate to get rid of the stock he's giving them away now

 

[thenomad]

Alfie saying they're licherally in New York. Licherally. Ugh it's getting harder and harder listening to him speak. And again with 'bangin' and now he has Zoe using it too...
Get out of the hotel and do something exciting. Stop wasting time doing what you usually do back home. Playing cards?! No one goes to Dubai, Iceland, or NY to play cards.

I'm glad Alfie admitted he's stupid on his IG stories. We already knew this.

EDIT:
Okay so I'm watching his vlog and seeing him be so excited that Zoe is wearing a track suit is really telling. It definitely confirms my belief that Zoe bought those Zara track suits for Alfie more so than for herself. Who gets that excited when their gf is wearing lounge wear or all things? What a weird thing to be happy about.

Considering how unflattering it looks like on Zoe; which Alfie didn't think it was that bad. He's so desperate to keep his gf in street clothes and be the next Lotty that he thinks the super long and saggy bum is a cute 'lewk'.

 

[CreepySheepy]

Alfie saying they're licherally in New York. Licherally. Ugh it's getting harder and harder listening to him speak. And again with 'bangin' and now he has Zoe using it too...

Get out of the hotel and do something exciting. Stop wasting time doing what you usually do back home. Playing cards?! No one goes to Dubai, Iceland, or NY to play cards.

I'm glad Alfie admitted he's stupid on his IG stories. We already knew this.

OMG i just started his new vlog, it's starts with him saying everyone called him out on that day when he couldnt remember the day with the clock right behind him. "Are you dumb/Are you stupid, theres a clock right there." He forgets the end of the sentence. "Yes I am"

Alfie being so amazed that bags come in different sizes is incredible. How can he be 26 years old.

Him and Zoe are so antagonistic towards each other in this vlog

Alfie's vlog is extra painful today. It's so good he started out with an I'm dumb acknowledgement. First the bag thing, then the spray vitamin thing, now at Boots not getting why Sean doesn't agree that mouthwash is a great christmas gift. wtf

Now bragging about stealing the tires and skateboard out of Zach's car because he was parked in Alfie's space which Alfie told him he could do. What does he think this makes him look like. I know he thinks he being cool, hip, and funny but I really don't get it at all.

 

[thenomad]

You know you don't let out your dog enough when she doesn't want to come inside. They keep calling for Nala to come inside when they are bringing their Christmas tree inside and she wants to stay out. Go give Nala a short walk, Zoe.

 

[CreepySheepy]

You know you don't let out your dog enough when she doesn't want to come inside. They keep calling for Nala to come inside when they are bringing their Christmas tree inside and she wants to stay out. Go give Nala a short walk, Zoe.

Zoe mentions her greatest fear is nala getting hit by a car. Don't have have a gate/wall around their house? So there should be little chance of that happening if Nala gets out on accident or am I wrong?

 

[coconochanel]

You know you don't let out your dog enough when she doesn't want to come inside. They keep calling for Nala to come inside when they are bringing their Christmas tree inside and she wants to stay out. Go give Nala a short walk, Zoe.

Zoe says 'my worst fear is Nala getting hit by a car'. she's in your gated property fgs.

Alfie saying they're licherally in New York. Licherally. Ugh it's getting harder and harder listening to him speak. And again with 'bangin' and now he has Zoe using it too...
Get out of the hotel and do something exciting. Stop wasting time doing what you usually do back home. Playing cards?! No one goes to Dubai, Iceland, or NY to play cards.

I'm glad Alfie admitted he's stupid on his IG stories. We already knew this.

EDIT:
Okay so I'm watching his vlog and seeing him be so excited that Zoe is wearing a track suit is really telling. It definitely confirms my belief that Zoe bought those Zara track suits for Alfie more so than for herself. Who gets that excited when their gf is wearing lounge wear or all things? What a weird thing to be happy about.

Considering how unflattering it looks like on Zoe; which Alfie didn't think it was that bad. He's so desperate to keep his gf in street clothes and be the next Lotty that he thinks the super long and saggy bum is a cute 'lewk'.
View attachment 63079

Hes that desperate for her to stop dressing like a 12yr old he will put up with the baggy arsed joggers cause she looks 'cool' from the front.

 

[thenomad]

Zoe mentions her greatest fear is nala getting hit by a car. Don't have have a gate/wall around their house? So there should be little chance of that happening if Nala gets out on accident or am I wrong?

That's why I was so confused she said that. They own a gated property. I doubt Nala can just fly over the wall.

LBR she didn't want to walk Nala that's all. You think it's the least she could do since they're both going away for some time.

 

[LongishCat]

That's why I was so confused she said that. They own a gated property. I doubt Nala can just fly over the wall.

LBR she didn't want to walk Nala that's all. You think it's the least she could do since they're both going away for some time.

Can someone please photoshop Nala tossing herself over the fence? I can only imagine it's her dream to escape her lazy ass owners

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

 

[CreepySheepy]

View attachment 63166

Piero Nataloni, we salute you.

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

His bleeping stupidity with the visa winds me up.

 

[Laughingforlife]

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CAN ALFIE PLEASE LOOK AT THE CAMERA FFS!?

 

[sitesorestrictive]

Oh there's so much gold today. Another crappy vlog and a video on weirdo kinda creepy Dave's channel about daily vlogging.

My highlight is Alfie not getting a visa for a country he's flying to in less than 24 hours. The sad thing is if he didn't get the visa, it wouldn't have even mattered. They could just rebook whereas the majority of people would be out thousands of pounds and no longer be able to go on holiday. The privilege is just mind boggling. Oh and of course him and Zoe can't be alone for 5 seconds so they had to bring the people Alfie wishes he had threesomes with

 

[newtoyou]

Calling it now...next future elf product is gonna be a copy of that cheap mini tote bag he had in his vlog.