Adult Only Wedding

[headfullofdreams]

We had a child free wedding and we had no issues with guests not coming. We just put their names on the invite and not the child's. Only one couple asked if they could bring their kid, we declined and they were fine with it, in fact I think many of the parents were glad of the excuse to have a child free evening.

If people are going to be petty about it then they're not worth your time, sorry, but not everyone's life should revolve around other people's kids. It's your wedding, your choice.

 

[InstaLurk]

Just address the invite itself to the names of adults. If any ask (as they will) ‘I assume we can bring XXX’ just say unfortunately we are restricted on numbers and have kept it to adults. Don’t apologise, it’s your wedding, I personally don’t understand why non-family are so obsessed with bringing all their brood to weddings

 

[Sloth]

We had a family wedding where my daughter wasn’t invited. I was more upset about the way it was handled-no chat about it being an Adults only wedding or even a message with the invites. They simply just left her off the invite. That in my opinion is not the right way to do that.

I’d include a note with the invite or speak to those with kids to say it is adults only.

Oh grow up was left off the invite because she wasn’t invited, she still wouldn’t be invited if a gentle poem explaining this was delivered to you by white doves

 

[BettyCrocker]

If you have had an adult only wedding, how did you address it with friends in person? We were at a friend's last weekend and talking about weddings and their 5 year old was screaming at the table (he is so badly behaved as they don't correct him) and the dad goes "this is what to expect."

We both didn't say anything as it didn't feel approp to say in front of the child. Plus we haven't even set our date yet. This is the one child in particular as to why we are having it adult only. They don't even have a baby sitter and to be honest, that isn't our problem. He is such a nightmare I bet no one wants to look after him.

You don’t need to address it in person. The invitation is for the parents only, name them on it. Then make it clear in the invitation that it’s an adults only day - “regrettably we cannot accommodate any children, but we hope you will still be able to join us to celebrate the day” (or something along those lines)
And that’s it.

If anyone is crass enough to bring it up with you after that then just say you would both prefer an adults only day so that everyone can relax and enjoy it without the kids. It’s your wedding, not a family day out for them & their child!

 

[BettyCrocker]

I think if you have such a tiny baby, you should be able to ask the couple if you can bring your kiddo

Nooooooo!


If the couple have specified that it’s an adults only event then that’s what it is. They will be aware of any guests that have children but they have decided they don’t want kids at their wedding - breastfeeding babies or screaming toddlers.

It would put them in such an awkward position if they have said it’s an adults only wedding and then someone asks to bring a child. Don’t do it!!!!

Either find childcare and make appropriate arrangements or decline the invitation.

 

[Tublet83]

As a mum of 2 I love adult only weddings I’m so grateful when they aren’t invited, they are a nightmare and will no doubt embarrass me I never get to go out so I’m all in favour

 

[instagramloverinlondon]

I don't think we should feel bad about not wanting other peoples kids at our weddings. People always say it's your big day, you should have what you want so I think you're well within your rights. They take up valuable spaces at venues and if people really want to come they'll fine childcare. As I say we just said we're only able to accommodate our nieces and nephews. People shouldn't question that! Good luck

 

[Kutikuti]

We are wedding planning and have always been set on an adult Only ceremony and reception. Many of our friends have children and honestly, we just don't want the kids there. If you've had a CF wedding, how did you phrase it?

Be prepared for a few people not being able to make it. We had 4 adults only weddings this year, all good friends . We could only had babysitters for 1 of them, so we decided to not go to any of them as it didn’t seem fair to pick one. 3 were understanding, the other got really annoyed and has refused to speak to us since

 

[erin182]

I don’t know why people would even want to bring their kids to a wedding! I would haven’t children at mine either!

 

[Fanaff]

I also had an adults only wedding and just sent the invitations to the adults. No one was butt hurt so yes, grow up

You sound like such a twat, people were probably glad to have an excuse not to come to your wedding

 

[Fatllama]

I have two children my self (2.5 year and 6 month) and I would not be offended by a child free wedding. The lady who said she would be upset if she hadn’t been told before hand .. sorry but it’s not your day. It doesn’t revolve around you or your children. As horrible as that may sound, your children are not their main focus.

My brother in law just got married and they were adamant they wanted our children to be present we did not .. and it was a very stressful time and we couldn’t relax. They went to grandparents as soon as the after party started as I don’t want my children around people drinking/drunk people.

Understand not everyone will have childcare but that’s your problem if you can’t go, you decided to have children - deal with it.

 

[Sloth]

As a mum of 2 I love adult only weddings I’m so grateful when they aren’t invited, they are a nightmare and will no doubt embarrass me I never get to go out so I’m all in favour

I don’t know why people are so obsessed with bringing their children! I don’t like my kid being around people drinking alcohol and getting drunk (both of which I would like to do but again wouldn’t with my child) but I’m the bad parent, yeah ok

 

[Horatio]

A good friend of mine just had her child free wedding, and it was a great one. She had a few nieces and nephews at the ceremony but they had to disappear at about 4. There might have been some grumbling but overall I think people respected their wishes (I know I did!)

They phrased it :

“As mentioned on the invite, we’ve decided not to invite children to our wedding. Please don’t take this personally, but we’d rather everyone was free to kick back and relax without worrying about stepping on a small person. Obviously this doesn’t apply if you’re breastfeeding at the time of the wedding.”

 

[instagramloverinlondon]

I think we over think it too as organisers. I've just had the last of my RSVPs and no one has questioned the fact we're not having kids. We've got 180 guests, most of whom are 30 somethings that have children but I think most will be glad to just have the day off to have a carefree day. I was worried about certain people's reactions but everyone has supported it. So a little not maybe explaining it and I think that's enough!

 

[bubbletea123]

We are wedding planning and have always been set on an adult Only ceremony and reception. Many of our friends have children and honestly, we just don't want the kids there. If you've had a CF wedding, how did you phrase it?

 

[Tublet83]

Also people should be grateful they are invited in the first place?!

 

[Heyheyyouyou]

We are willing to provide a list of babysitters in the area or if the venue offers childcare, we would pay for that.

Nice gesture, but people dont always like leaving kids with strangers, proper babysitters or not.
Just say no kids and if people say they are struggling, maybe then offer, but like others said, be prepared for not all to come x

 

[Sp20191]

Your wedding your choice but i would say if people decline the invite don’t be horrible about it.

some people don’t have childcare, are not happy leaving their children with strangers etc (I would never leave my kids with a babysitter I didn’t personally know so the offer of local childcare would not be used) so if you are fine with some people maybe not being able to make it, go ahead x

 

[Elsass]

There are some lovely little poems and ideas online of things you could put into the invite.
I've been to several weddings which have been child free, and I was completely fine finding childcare for my children. The only time it's caused an issue is when my youngest child was just under four months old and I was exclusively breastfeeding at the time. I'd expressed enough for the grandparents to feed him, however come 8:30pm I was totally uncomfortable, leaking boobs and there was nowhere for me to pump (wedding in a field and only stinky porterloos). I left at 9pm to get back to my family by 10pm (after being at the wedding from 7:30am) and the bride went ballistic at me. :-( Maybe I was being unreasonable, who knows, but I got mastitis after that wedding.

I think if you have such a tiny baby, you should be able to ask the couple if you can bring your kiddo

Nooooooo!


If the couple have specified that it’s an adults only event then that’s what it is. They will be aware of any guests that have children but they have decided they don’t want kids at their wedding - breastfeeding babies or screaming toddlers.

It would put them in such an awkward position if they have said it’s an adults only wedding and then someone asks to bring a child. Don’t do it!!!!

Either find childcare and make appropriate arrangements or decline the invitation.

If it’s the wedding of someone you really care about though surely they’d understand if you are literally breastfeeding and it’s causing you physical pain to be away from the baby for that long! Sandra mentions the bride going ballistic at her for leaving. I think people forget their humanity in their quest for the perfect wedding.

We had kids at our wedding and it was lovely. Their little faces seeing me in my dress is one of my favourite memories. One thought I’d actually turned into a princess. It’s good for the ego.

However a family member brought their dog without asking (in a pretty fancy hotel), the fiancé of one of my bridesmaids is very very allergic and I didn’t want dog hair on my dress so what could we do but ask them to leave the dog in the room. It barked the place down and other guests complained to reception. I just couldn’t believe they’d put us in that position.

 

[headfullofdreams]

I also had an adults only wedding and just sent the invitations to the adults. No one was butt hurt so yes, grow up

That's what I did. Only one person asked if they can bring their kid, I said no and they still came and had a great time. Some people are just oversensitive because they think the world revolves around their children.