#Super Cute

Chatty Member
🚨🚨🚨🚨🧢🏊‍♀️ NEWSBREAK

Captain Cutie reporting for duty 🫡

- was accompanied and filmed by tall, American male POC
- when she finished race there was a high five, kiss on the top of her gnome head and a fist bump later on

Cutie out 🎤
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SnarkyTart

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Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of Emmylou's dumpster fire life, I'm back fezzas✌

How I've missed you all. I apologise, I had to go no contact for a long time because EL had taken over my life a little bit and I needed to just shut this down for my own sanity. I couldn't even speak her name in my head without getting really angry. I don't even remember what it was, just her general selfishness. And then I was blocked by her and a number of other people, and I had one colourful cunt thinking she was oh so clever messaging me and I got a bit worried about my privacy. I guess I kind of went into Shitness Protection - I threw my Cheezels, a trucker cap and my slow cooker in the car and hit the highway.

To those of you I know personally, I am extremely sorry. I know I ghosted you. I just had to block out everything for a bit. I received a Super Cute letter and I broke down in tears (dramatic...or just mental 🤔🤪) and I still haven't been able to bring myself to open it. Please know I have so much love and respect for everyone in our communidy - this Mama just needed to go chase sausage without you pesky kids tryna ruin mah fucken vibe.

Anyway, I got a bit curious about EL and had a little spy. Seems I've missed a lot scrolling through just this thread! What happened to Original Babe?!? Her content is as riveting as ever...
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Thank Heavens she explained what the hat means - I thought she was being ordered to wear it because she was a Parole Violator. She's certainly violated some eyes in her time. America, on behalf of Australia, I apologise that she has invaded the fountains of The Bellagio.
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@screenfreelookatme, I'm wondering if your little bundle of joy has arrived! Looking forward to hearing from you soon🤱
Haha gosh you’re good! I’ve only been able to keep up commenting on the Kearns thread. There’s just too much Emmylou 😂

We welcomed our little bundle of joy into the world yesterday 🥰. So much newborn squishiness! It’s the best. Everyone is doing well. I’ll have wayyy too much time to Tattle with all the night feeds, but now we’re mostly sleeping 😴. We’ve gone with the name Tiffanylou (one word, no hyphen) in honour of the basketball like shape of our Lord and Saviour.
 
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ActiveLies

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I think she takes the kids to the market before school because she's genuinely incapable of just being a normal mum with them. Unless there's some planned activity where she can disengage from her kids by shoving her head in her phone, she doesn't want to do it. So if they've got 45 minutes up their sleeve before school drop off, rather than just chat about their lives, do a reader, whatever normal things families do in the morning, she has to fill it with SOMETHING because she's manic and cannot parent normally.

I also don't hate her. I hate her in the way that maybe I'd hate a tv character - it's enjoyable to watch someone so despicable and duplicitous but it has no impact on my day or life in any way, whatsoever.

I will however compile an off the top of my head list of reasons I think she's genuinely a cunt of a thing -

her decade long quest to be famous. Not for any skill, talent or out of the ordinary quality that she possesses, simply because she wants notoriety and to be a celebrity., She's almost 44 years old. That's very strange behaviour. That this pursuit of fame has come at enormous personal expense both in monetary figures and time has left her in unstable housing, with very little security for her family; it's a decade of pure selfishness that seems to have no ending in sight.
her complete unwillingness to ever improve herself in the areas in which she wishes to be famous for. So she auditioned for MasterChef and didn't get on, did she do any kind of formal cooking training after that? To brush up on skills, to improve knowledge and then have a crack at auditioning again? Of course not. So she wanted to be a presenter, but that never happened. Most starting out presenters and journalists write and research their own stories. She is borderline illiterate. So did she seek to improve those skills to make herself more appealing as a presenter? Has she worked on her pronunciation, her vocabulary, or any single professional skill that might help her achieve her goals? Nup. Course not.
She plagiarised a recipe in a book deal with an actual reputable publisher and then fabricated a woe is me story of a stalker when the shit hit the fan
She financially profited from a global pandemic selling non-fit-for-purpose face shields at an enormous markup
She financially and emotionally abused her defacto partner for years and years, lauding over him that she was the bread winner and making huge financial decisions without his input or knowledge. This entire scenario was so manipulative and grim and if the genders were opposite it would've been called out for the callous, abusive environment that 99% of their relationship played out in.
She's a shithouse, neglectful mother who abandons her children at every given opportunity. I'm all about adults remaining being adults and having a great time in capacities away from their roles as parents, but the general misery in which she's perpetually in when required to parent vs the unbridled joy she has when they're not in her care is absurd.
Using past mental health concerns and apparent attempts on her life as a mere story line in her bullshit 'journey' to confidence is at best absent minded, and at worst genuinely perverse. Suicide is not a footnote to a waffling story of triumph they way she tries to play it off.
The current cultural appropriation which is just super yuck and has been discussed at great length recently and is everything everyone has said about it. Fucked, opportunisitc, sad, weird.
Her foul mouthed bullshit persona when she's with her sister that's seen the entire internet be made aware of her plate sized nippes, clitoris for days, skid marks, thrush, foul smelling vagina, etc etc etc. This is all done with no regard whatsoever for her children and what having that information out in the world may have on them and their experiences as teenagers.
Giving no attention to her children (evidenced by buying the wrong sheets for the girls, not knowing that Camellia wouldn't want to watch a RomCom etc etc etc), and her general low intelligence means she's missing pretty obvious signs of neurodivergence in her youngest which really should be being assessed and if a diagnosis comes, having plans in place at school and home to help little Vida navigate a world that is perhaps not designed for her to thrive in.
Absolutely most of all for me though, is her bullshit 'confidence' shtick that both means nothing and is entirely disingenuous. What is 'confidence' on it's own? She's certainly not confident in the way her body looks - she's had weight loss surgery, a tummy tuck, liposuction, uses filters, gets spray tans, fake nails, and has her hair dyed amongst many other appearance altering procedures she regularly undertakes. She's not confidence in the health of her body - she's forever talking about visceral fat and the need to lose weight for her wellbeing. She's not confident in her intelligence or knowledge of the world around her - often giving disclaimers for why she can't pronounce things, doesn't know about important issues; she gave up on reading Dark Emu because it was too challenging. She doesn't appear to attend school functions where she'd be expected to mingle with other mothers - she's not confident in her social skills amongst women who should be peers. It appears the only thing she's confident about is that she doesn't particularly give a fuck what people think of her as she's managed to reshape all criticism as 'trolling'. So she walks around baring her Frankenstein gut, dressing in things 2 sizes ot small, and sad, lonely, middle aged women with their phones glued to their hands who are desperate to feel like they fit in somewhere, see her lack of embarrassment about looking pretty ordinary as 'inspiring'. They're not inspired to behave in a similar way, but they look at her and think "well if she can buy a coffee looking like a trollop, I suppose it's not such a big deal to put some bathers on and enjoy time at the beach with my kids." They then feel good about themselves and attribute that feeling to AmyLou having 'inspired' them with her 'confidence'. It's bullshit, it lacks introversion and critical thinking, and cunning little snakey Amy is smart enough to capitalise on the insecurities of women and laugh her way to the bank over it.

Apologies for the long long rant, but honestly, this woman is a horrible horrible person and watching her flail about in life is a genuine delight to me. I don't hate her coz I don't give enough of a fuck about her, but my lord is it amusing to watch her lies and dumpster fire of a life be broadcast for free, almost 24 hours a day, every day.
 
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Broken Veneers

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As predicted by most Tattlers, Lou and Zoe Moss have gone their separate ways . Lou is no longer a Director and her 98 shares owned through Tigers Lunch have been transferred back to H & N Property Group - on 29/12/2023. H and N Property Group seems to be the main company under which Zoe Moss, Leoni, For Monaco etc reside. H and N is owned by the same Mr. (previously) 51% - same address etc


I guess we know where that money came from now.
 

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SnarkyTart

VIP Member
From [email protected]

To [email protected]

Subject Bali story schedule

Hi Emmylou,

Hope you're having fun at dad's resort. He sends his apologies that he isn't there to meet you but he has meetings in Jakarta. Everything going well at ZM. Cheezels on sale at Coles so have stocked up. Storing at warehouse so the children and your niece can't get them. Here's your posting schedule for the next few days:
•Announce arrival in Bali. Show luxury features of villa as per arrangement with dad
•Mention menu is customizable and show smoothie bowl
•Increase sympathy engagement. Can be about Aaron or the children. Those pics I took of you and Vida would work well
•Melbourne is freezing today so a cold weather recipe would work better than a salad. Please confirm whether to go with beef curry or lamb shoulder
•Dad said he needs you to really sell how relaxing the resort is. Maybe talk about naps or reading.

Suelyn is asking for her wages from the last three months. Do we pay in ZM clothing again?

Kind regards,

Leah.
Executive Assistant to Emmylou from Emmylou Loves
 
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ActiveLies

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HELLO HI I SAW HER IN THE FLESH AT SYDNEY AIRPORT AND LITERALLY EVERY PERSON SHE WALKED PAST STARED IN BEWILDERMENT.

I am not shitting y’all when I say that her appearance prompted a question from a kid and their sweet mother suggested Emmy had perhaps lost her luggage in transit and had no other clothes to wear!!! I was so close to interjecting to say that no no, this strange lady wears wet look crop tops in airports by choice.

I was so bloody knackered before my flight and this whole interaction spurred me back to life with hilarity and second hand embarrassment.
 
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Sure…Media!

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Emmylou Love’s last postcard

Dear Babe3.0

I don’t know if it’s the hay fever or the burning from the Garnier mingella wipes but my eyes have been a little puffy since we parted. 😥

Sorry I didn’t catch your name. That’s ok. Chances are I’d muff up the pronunciation or call you the name of any of the other babes. Just remember how special you are. ❤ Even if you’re just waiting tables til you find your dream. I had kids once before I had a dream 💭 .

You really satisfied me with some BackAnal and I miss that Apollo Chicken. I haven’t gone that hard since breakfast and now I understand what it takes to be a disciplined bodybuilder. I didn’t touch a carb the whole trip. 🍝 🥯 🍟 🍔 🥨

I felt so comfortable staying with you. I could be myself right away. Most girls wait 6 months to fart in front of the right person but I could unhinge my jaw in Walmart and you didn’t blink twice. You made room for my make up caddy and held my hand when the meat sweats kicked in. Super cute.

You were so sweet taking me to Red Rock Deli to torture tortoises. It was farcan huge! I can’t wait to try the same experience with a rhino when I next go to Africa. 🦏

As soon as I got home I went straight to get my nails done. And a Texas de Brazilian. It’s a vibe! My lady garden was more overgrown than the Bellagio lobby.

Those snarky Tattle fezzas are mockin’ me for droppin’ my g’s but Babe, you’ve seen a little something’ when I dropped my g 😉 If you get my drift. Dang, those meat sweats got me real good. I’ll miss giving you my mouth stories at bedtime about getting freebies from random shoe cleaners or Trader Joe dudes.

The airline tried to charge me excess baggage on the way back but I just asked for a seatbelt extender instead.

Can’t wait to flee my life again soon. For now I have to say goodbye to the super cute giggles and go back to sounding like a trucker from Baccus Marsh on the two way radio as he barrels down the M1.

Cheers Babe

Love,


Mumma 😘
 
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#Super Cute

Chatty Member
Recrap incoming (grab some popcorn 🍿 madness and settle in…)

Thread #87 found US still in the dessert state of NAVADA for OUR Porked in the USA tour. Who made the dessert so farken hawt Fezzas 🥵 When does daylight savings end in NAVADA? CRAZY HAWT!!

A giggly tour of the local supermarket with American shit n stuff saw US dive dick deep into the international gastronomy experience that is Mac n Cheese by Gay La Dot. This shit is farken CRAZY!!

Some supreme cinematography skill saw US get random cheeky peeks of Babe 2.0/3.0 and a Daddy Babe as bonus content from time to time but Fezzas we’re becoming increasingly confused and unsettled by apparent time slips, relationship status and living arrangements in Lost Vagus. WE, however, ignored a legal brief from lawyers in residence, Active Pussy & Co, and carried on speculating, reaching high and low, far and wide, in and out of all corners and cavities of the dark web, and the Bendigollio Instagram page as per OUR EmmyLouLoves Snark Strategic Plan and KPIs ✌🏽🕵🏻👑

After a tipping the bellhop a used POVO cap and Zoe Moss pink crop, a sneaky shoot poolside at the Bellbridge in OUR @Krusty_kini resulted in Fezzas worldwide cancelling their Accor hotel memberships in protest 💪🏼 CRAZY!!!

It was indeed a time to be alive when OUR clever fren @Sure…Media! opened her journal and manifested the Postcards from the Edge chronicles. At the page 5 mark of the thread, Fezzas were grinning like Treasure Cats and crumping in OUR G-bangers in kitchens from Belmont to Bunbury at the return of OUR BFF @SnarkyTart. Finally released from a cheeky stay in Shitness Protection, Snarks popped in to make US a salmon burrito bowl and take a swim in OUR spa #wotavibe ✌🏽 #snarkyreturns

WE were giddy in our Vida’s Daisy dukes over grocery shopping with/without Babe 2.0/3.0. Oh so much farken ice cream Fezzas!! “Get in mah belly!!” OUR hunt for Lemon Myrtle cookies resulted in a Babe 4.0 being parked for future use #prayersforroyce

Frideee night WE went back to the Bendigo Fountain and got a farken dirty street hot dog. So many people in Merica like to be ready for Halloween early so WE got asked several times where to order the sparkly Grimace costume WE were wearing. CRAZY MERICANS!!

STFU Fezzas, Babe 2.0/3.0 DOES have a fricken boner for love US!! This @#Super Cute Vegas Romeo cleaned OUR farken sneakers!! For free!!! CRAZY IMPRESSIVE !!
(NB At this point Babe 5.0 was also parked for future use) #prayersforzaytheshoecleaneractorDJsingerdancer

WE put on OUR elastic waisted jumpsuits and headed to the Back Anal Buffet for the Noah’s Ark special and some farken carb free Mac n Cheese n shit followed up next mornin with a friken pancake burger at the Black Beard 🏴‍☠️ Diner.

[Activity: Reader to create their own mouth story re tour of the grocery section of Walmart. Must contain the following words: farken, holy shit, oh mah farken gawd, farken huge, curly fries, Killer Hogs, Slap Ya Mama]

Timelines, AirBnB’s and the age of consent conspiracies still messed with Fezzas as Babe 2.0/3.0 dipped his ‘toe’ in Lou Lou Jar Productions. As chief cameraman filming EmmyLou Loves Producer Presenter werking to soft launch some c^nt of a show in her werk for Stanmazonisneyflix.

To be continued……

PSA
This international holiday infomercial was bought to you by EmmyLouLoves, Trading Hoes, the State of NAVADA and city of Lost Vagus, Zoe Loss, SegsyLandUSA, WallyMart, Zay The Shoecleaner Inc. , CrazyLousUSAInc.

#partnershit #collob #hoesbeforebros

#EmmyLouoneword waz ere
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Sure…Media!

VIP Member
First postcard home to the family:

Dear ALove

It’s so bewdiful here in America. I saw a car crash on Bel Air just like in the movies! No sign of Will Smith but I’ll keep you posted.

Everyone here is so friendly. My driver, the bell boy, the waitress at the cafe. I have so many new followers friends. Everyone seemed to want an autograph! I wish I bought more copies of the book with me.

The Mowharvey desert is nice. I found a couple of places that sell salads. Do you need anything from Target? I’m thinking of getting a Vanilla Ice cd. I love Vegas!

We drove past the place where 2Pac was shot. There is a super cute street sign and I took a video. Hoping to find time to do a dance routine to All Eyez On Me. Where can I buy a bandana from?

I found a little supermarket that sells cheeky orange juice and sausages. Can you believe it? They eat just like us!

I hope you remembered to get the dogs groomed. Give my love to Sage, Camillia and the other one.

I think I’m done chasing the BBC. I know I always say I could size down but this time I’m for real. Will you take me back?

❤ Emmylou Loves ❤
 
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#Super Cute

Chatty Member
Thanks for stopping mid-coddling and creating the new thread @Michy02 😻

Now for a Recrap of Thread #88
My Mum went on a dicke chasing trip to Vegas and all I got was this shitty tshirt.


Location: Loose Vagus USofA 🇺🇸
We put our Krusty Kinis, Vida’s shorts and “sweet baby girl” voice on and buckled in to Daddy Babe’s Camry for a road trip to Red Rock Deli!! Slappin our own ass in excitement at seeing where literal and actual Red Rock Deli chips grow, We were very disappointed to not find any chip plants. Very confusing and misleading #ad #adstandards 😏

Time to bid the Babes 🧢of USA 🇺🇸 goodbye with a farken layover in fricken Santa Monica. Oh mah gawd!! We headed straight to the historic food halls and farmers markets 🥨🥯🌯 [Get in mah belly!!] and saw a bewdiful farken swanky AF fountain, OUR best friend Charlotte’s store and some other shit n stuff on the way. Food glorious farken food!! Mumma was livin the farken Merican dream!!

Location: United Airlines dunny 🚽✈
Face masks and fanny wipes in the airplane loo and a farken bewdiful welcome home with hot air balloons too!! Sahhhh prity for Port Melbourne’s favourite daughter 👧🏻

Location: The Hovel, Port Melbourne 🇦🇺
And just like that…..in a hawt minute we were back with our nearest and dearest - the Mitsubishi, crossbody bag collection, fresh oxtail, Braaaaddddd and cookin up a storm in The Hovel. Showering is optional y’all ✌🏽

Supervised access with The Children on ALove’s weekend to give them their shitty presents then this hometown hero took the farken dogs for a walk cos farken bloat from flyin n spendin 2 weeks in the farken hawt dessert an mah tummy tuck swellin. Prayers and Sorrows for mah waistband 🙏

Dear Diary -
Fark me ALove never changed the batteries in me scales at the end of daylight savings so they told me I put on 4 farken kay gees on mah peen holiday!! I literally and metaphorically only ate salad a dark meat 🍆 I made bewdiful memories so who farken cares…imma just go an have a farken steamin hot bowl of sumthin….or a bagel….crossiant…

Mumma is hungrier than her arse in her favourite pink gbanger!!

……10kg chicken wings, 2 ‘small’ bowls of sugar free ice cream and a cuppla steamin hot bowls of oxtail slop later, Mumma slapped her own ass and curled up on the sadza stained couch and played a game of Candy Crush.

Gewwwdddd mornin happy farken Sundy from Naaaaadsss Cafe!! Got meself a latte but no coin for those pesky kids waitin in the Mitsubishi. Fark no! Mumma gots to hustle now!

[Meanwhile “Codegate” threatened to send Fezzas into a civil war to rival “Pantygate” started by our Merican fren @Buttercup123 many threads ago but thanks to the distraction of Emmy’s cankles in her Jordans and @Limpy Love getting castrated in the Chaddy underground carpark, we popped on some Kanye and hip hopped back into our Sunday Snark Sesh]

Monday’s hot tip was how to “coddle” your milk to make buttermilk for your pancakes…🤷‍♀️

The pollen count appeared high in Port Melbourne this weekend and the Fezza Meteorologists in residence predict this will rise mid week as Mumma tries to survive on her version of intermittent fasting (eat 16 hours:fast 8 hours) and climax 😳 on Friday as Babe 3.0 posts stories of romantic day trips to Walmart in his dad’s Camry with his newest peen puller 🍆 fresh off the tarmac from Bulleen Heights 🥨🧢

“Aunty Bubs is in da farken house!!!”

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Sure…Media!

VIP Member
I know we’ve only been on the water for a day but I think it’s time for a postcard to Aaron!

Yo ALove!

I know it’s your weekend with The Children this month but thanks for taking them while I go on yet another international trip without them. I can’t afford any more excess baggage.

I met another Babe on the boat. He likes my Povo hat! Oh my goodness!! It’s a sign. I practiced all that dancing on the pier. I knew I should have packed my Russell Hobbs and Biggie Smalls cds. So excited for Wednesday night now.

It’s gunna make root night a little awkward since I’m sharing a bed with Bubs. That’s ok. She can go first. It’s taco night so I’d rather eat than get eaten. I’m so glad she came with me. If the boat sinks at least her chest will keep us afloat til the rescue ships comes and saves us.

People actually think I work on this ship! Can you believe it? I’ve never worked a day in my life. But it would look pretty cool on my resume.

The weather is so nice here. I remembered to put my bikini the right way this time. It’s not as comfortable but at least I don’t stick to the banana lounge anymore.

Anyway, I left some wraps in the freezer for The Children. The good plates are in the shed and the dogs need a groom. If a process server knocks, take a message.

x EmmyLou Loves ❤
 
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