Hansnoms Mumma
Chatty Member
Please, I am begging you, stop comparing children's shoe sizes 
Mrsnoodles
Active member
New thread title : milkshake brings my boy to the yard, but he’s like… you’re turning to lard
And_that's_okay!
VIP Member
She'll post a candid photo today in an attempt to further deceive her following. She'll include a vomit-inducing caption such as:
Green dress. Do I have the slimmest body? No. Is my bum bigger than average? Yes. All these things make me; me. Charlotte. Fantastic mother. Three kids who love her. Wife. Husband loves her. Happy home. Fantastic dog. Am I super-model worthy? No. But I am loved. If I am a bigger girl, it's because of love. I am full of love. I'm their world. Their all. Their mother. And I'm so proud. Of me. Of you. Of them. And of the girl who dared to dream and wore that dress. I'm proud of her. She's Charlotte and she's incredible.
* grammar mistakes for authenticity
Green dress. Do I have the slimmest body? No. Is my bum bigger than average? Yes. All these things make me; me. Charlotte. Fantastic mother. Three kids who love her. Wife. Husband loves her. Happy home. Fantastic dog. Am I super-model worthy? No. But I am loved. If I am a bigger girl, it's because of love. I am full of love. I'm their world. Their all. Their mother. And I'm so proud. Of me. Of you. Of them. And of the girl who dared to dream and wore that dress. I'm proud of her. She's Charlotte and she's incredible.
* grammar mistakes for authenticity
I think Charlotte is one of the most unrelatable influencers out there. She pretends to be all modest and self deprecating, when really its brag, brag, brag.
"Stan was up at 5am and, we had a cuddle and watched Moana. I truely cherish the early starts with him. Bill and Daisy joined us after they had finished reading to one another. I then managed to do 7 loads of washing and hang them on the line (the bluebirds helped me). For lunch today we packed a picnic and skipped to the meadow to eat it. I read my book and watched my babies as they danced in the sunshine. I asked myself "how did I get so lucky?". Then it was back home, to see the man I fell madly in love with (he's from Preston).
For dinner, I prepared slow-braided octopus. The kids love it.
I then settled down, with a gin, to watch Les Miserables and felt giddy and the thought of another early start with my beautiful little boy.
I hope you have had a great day too!"
"Stan was up at 5am and, we had a cuddle and watched Moana. I truely cherish the early starts with him. Bill and Daisy joined us after they had finished reading to one another. I then managed to do 7 loads of washing and hang them on the line (the bluebirds helped me). For lunch today we packed a picnic and skipped to the meadow to eat it. I read my book and watched my babies as they danced in the sunshine. I asked myself "how did I get so lucky?". Then it was back home, to see the man I fell madly in love with (he's from Preston).
For dinner, I prepared slow-braided octopus. The kids love it.
I then settled down, with a gin, to watch Les Miserables and felt giddy and the thought of another early start with my beautiful little boy.
I hope you have had a great day too!"
Long time reader (well over a year, but I can't keep up with how fast the threads move!) first time poster. I would have just carried on reading, but I feel like I need to say something about Charlotte's rant that she had last night about Boris' plan B and how tired she is of this "uncomfortable" situation.
You know what Charlotte you're right. I'm tired.
I'm tired of having a job in the NHS where I've had to come into the Hospital throughout the last (almost) 2 years. Whilst everyone else was at home - despite having an admin job, it wasn't an option.
I'm tired of working my backside off, even though I only work 3 days a week (I have 2 children) The 2 days I get off are filled with errands and things I can't get done during the week.
I'm tired of getting the train to work at 7am every day, because even though driving is a safer option, there's nowhere for me to park. And the places that I can park cost a fortune.
I'm tired of not seeing my family as much as I would normally do as I'm trying to keep them safe.
I'm tired of not seeing my sister as she's currently pregnant with her 3rd baby and it's a high risk pregnancy.
I'm tired of constantly making and rearranging appointments for my son with asthma.
I'm tired of trying to keep everything going whilst my husband works his arse off in a new job as he got made redundant.
I'm tired of trying to fit everything in - dog walks, school work, after school clubs, birthdays and Christmas.
I'm tired of being tired.
But I'm more tired of people like you. Who have flounted the rules since day one. Who haven't done an honest days work in their life. Who have the audacity to sit there and moan about how tired they are. When there are people out there who have had it so much worse. Who have lost people to this disease. Who have sacrificed things they shouldn't have to, to keep people safe. How can you be tired? Filming yourself switching on your washing machine is not tiring. Filming yourself put a face full of slap on is not tiring. "Popping to the shop" to fill up an already full kitchen is not tiring, or necessary!
I'm tired of you going on and on and on about how "hard" you're working. Tell me, does your job benefit anyone? Bring joy to anyone (besides yourself - don't think I haven't seen the way you look at yourself when talking to your phone) Is it necessary? Would something awful happened if you stopped filming? No. No it would not.
I am done listening to all you "influencers" and "content creators" moan about how busy you are. How your mental health is affected. How this is a "real job". I've got news for you. It is not.
You need a reality check. You're so out of touch with the real goings on in the world. We are STILL in this pandemic. Your life has continued without anything changing - your wedding still got to go ahead for Christ's sake! Stop looking at yourself, and take a good hard look around you. Read the news properly. Stop convincing yourself you have a proper job. Stop thinking that you're so bloody hard done-to. Get out of the clouds and get a real job and then maybe you'll feel some self-worth (your mental health may also improve!) Maybe then, when you do feel "tired" you've got a worthwhile reason for it.
Sorry for the rant ladies and gents - as you were!
You know what Charlotte you're right. I'm tired.
I'm tired of having a job in the NHS where I've had to come into the Hospital throughout the last (almost) 2 years. Whilst everyone else was at home - despite having an admin job, it wasn't an option.
I'm tired of working my backside off, even though I only work 3 days a week (I have 2 children) The 2 days I get off are filled with errands and things I can't get done during the week.
I'm tired of getting the train to work at 7am every day, because even though driving is a safer option, there's nowhere for me to park. And the places that I can park cost a fortune.
I'm tired of not seeing my family as much as I would normally do as I'm trying to keep them safe.
I'm tired of not seeing my sister as she's currently pregnant with her 3rd baby and it's a high risk pregnancy.
I'm tired of constantly making and rearranging appointments for my son with asthma.
I'm tired of trying to keep everything going whilst my husband works his arse off in a new job as he got made redundant.
I'm tired of trying to fit everything in - dog walks, school work, after school clubs, birthdays and Christmas.
I'm tired of being tired.
But I'm more tired of people like you. Who have flounted the rules since day one. Who haven't done an honest days work in their life. Who have the audacity to sit there and moan about how tired they are. When there are people out there who have had it so much worse. Who have lost people to this disease. Who have sacrificed things they shouldn't have to, to keep people safe. How can you be tired? Filming yourself switching on your washing machine is not tiring. Filming yourself put a face full of slap on is not tiring. "Popping to the shop" to fill up an already full kitchen is not tiring, or necessary!
I'm tired of you going on and on and on about how "hard" you're working. Tell me, does your job benefit anyone? Bring joy to anyone (besides yourself - don't think I haven't seen the way you look at yourself when talking to your phone) Is it necessary? Would something awful happened if you stopped filming? No. No it would not.
I am done listening to all you "influencers" and "content creators" moan about how busy you are. How your mental health is affected. How this is a "real job". I've got news for you. It is not.
You need a reality check. You're so out of touch with the real goings on in the world. We are STILL in this pandemic. Your life has continued without anything changing - your wedding still got to go ahead for Christ's sake! Stop looking at yourself, and take a good hard look around you. Read the news properly. Stop convincing yourself you have a proper job. Stop thinking that you're so bloody hard done-to. Get out of the clouds and get a real job and then maybe you'll feel some self-worth (your mental health may also improve!) Maybe then, when you do feel "tired" you've got a worthwhile reason for it.
Sorry for the rant ladies and gents - as you were!
snickerdoodle
VIP Member
Hey Charl, if you’re reading; it’s 7.51pm and I got home from work an hour ago. I left the house at 8.00 this morning and dropped my kids off at the childminders. I wear a respirator and full PPE all day and was so busy and overrun at work that I LITERALLY DID NOT HAVE TIME TO GO FOR A WEE and was close to wetting myself at the end of my shift. I was late leaving work, collected my children from the childminder and am now collapsed on the sofa trying to muster up the energy to do the bedtime routine (I’m a single parent). Once the kids are asleep, I’ll probably have cereal for dinner, shove a load of laundry in, shower and crawl into bed.
Now tell me again how busy you are. The nails look fab, darling.
Now tell me again how busy you are. The nails look fab, darling.
snickerdoodle
VIP Member
Oh well, I hope her and Mark enjoy their sex pond during the one day each month she’s not on her period.
Its_all_for_the_gram
Active member
"so our extension is finished, our kitchen looks beautiful. It's oh so lovely. We're oh so grateful for it. We chose these taps because they are the same ones my parents had when I was growing up. My brother and I loved them. So having them reminds me of such a happy time. We're so lucky to be able to have this. Right I'm off to hang a wash load out on the line. Then I'm going to make a brew and sit and watch my gorgeous children playing together."
"The children are eating hotdogs for tea tonight. It's quick and they enjoy it. Mark and I will have a slow cooked unicorn horn, drizzled with exotic lions milk and served with rice grown on the moon. It's a recipe that I just whipped up with the things we had in. I really need to pop to Waitrose for some fresh bits."
"The children are eating hotdogs for tea tonight. It's quick and they enjoy it. Mark and I will have a slow cooked unicorn horn, drizzled with exotic lions milk and served with rice grown on the moon. It's a recipe that I just whipped up with the things we had in. I really need to pop to Waitrose for some fresh bits."
pickaname
Chatty Member
Waiting for the stories this morning
"*eye fuck***wanky wave* Hello....*giggle*...gosh I am tired but I had SUCH a lovely day yesterday...*giggle* *eye rub*...like it was just so so nice to have some time with my girl chums *lip smack* *gulp*...you know what I mean...I love my kiddos and Mark to bits but it was nice to just have some time to be Charlotte...do you know what I mean?...*eye rub* *giggle*..like it was just so so nice to not worry about the school run and weeeerk and chores because being a mum can be a lot you know...*sigh* *giggle* but yeah, I missed my kids and Mark...and the dog...look at him...Meeeerlin you're so weird aren't you....*giggle**fake laugh*...look at him...(we look at him, he is sat sad and depressed as usual)...anyway today I'm going to do my usual and spend time by myself doing fuck all because it's Friday and I love Fridays because it's the weekend where I do fuck all with my children but you know...*giggle* it's nice to have slow weekends and just chill...anyway I thought I'd just come on and wish you a lovely, lovely day...*giggle**head bobble* bye *wanky wave*"
"*eye fuck***wanky wave* Hello....*giggle*...gosh I am tired but I had SUCH a lovely day yesterday...*giggle* *eye rub*...like it was just so so nice to have some time with my girl chums *lip smack* *gulp*...you know what I mean...I love my kiddos and Mark to bits but it was nice to just have some time to be Charlotte...do you know what I mean?...*eye rub* *giggle*..like it was just so so nice to not worry about the school run and weeeerk and chores because being a mum can be a lot you know...*sigh* *giggle* but yeah, I missed my kids and Mark...and the dog...look at him...Meeeerlin you're so weird aren't you....*giggle**fake laugh*...look at him...(we look at him, he is sat sad and depressed as usual)...anyway today I'm going to do my usual and spend time by myself doing fuck all because it's Friday and I love Fridays because it's the weekend where I do fuck all with my children but you know...*giggle* it's nice to have slow weekends and just chill...anyway I thought I'd just come on and wish you a lovely, lovely day...*giggle**head bobble* bye *wanky wave*"
JustAnotherUserName
VIP Member
Guys I’m so going to hell for this…BUT I’ve finally found Charls twin! I feel like I’m offending Lewis Capaldi at the same time though, sorry Lewis!
99lemons
Member
Sex Pond, Sex Pond, Charlotte’s #gifted Sex Pond
snickerdoodle
VIP Member
Charlotte Louise Taylor #30 Get a bloody grip you utter massive drip
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
She will never divorce him, ever. He could mount Hazel and ride her like a fairground pony on Charlotttes kitchen table during Ham Day and Charlotte would find some way to romanticise it and make out that he is some kind of modern day Mr Darcey. She is tapped in the head.
GlasgowGirl72
VIP Member
Omfg I ran here after seeing her clip on insta
I’ve been on Venlaflaxine and Quetiapine since 2014 (tried to take my life) and I’ll be on them until I pass on.
As my Consultant says “if a couple of little tablets each day keep you well then there is no shame in taking them”
She has made it such a stigma to be on Antidepressant and sticks a finger up to us all that need to stay on them to stay safe and well.
I’d love to wipe that smug face off that sanctimonious cow!!!
And_that's_okay!
VIP Member
Cue the birthday reel.....
"Charlotte is 35"
Opening with the kitchen disco ball reflecting off the ceiling and the walls as the camera pans round to Merlin trying to strangle himself out of his misery on the floor with his bandana. Turning towards the dining room table as Stan writes "you can survive this Mama, keep on keeping on, you chubby cunt" whilst Daisy dances like an angel in the background untangling a pepperami from her hair. Mark enters the room with a crock pot full of bubbling meat - it's time to feed my perfect Charl - he's been boiling dead road kill again. Finishing off with Charlotte swinging across her dog shit laden lawn in a hammock. Bare feet, toes touching, as Sixpence None the Richer 'Kiss Me' ehoes in the distance. Faded screen. "You're so worth it. I am too. Go have that bath. That bottle of white lightning. You deserve it".
"Charlotte is 35"
Opening with the kitchen disco ball reflecting off the ceiling and the walls as the camera pans round to Merlin trying to strangle himself out of his misery on the floor with his bandana. Turning towards the dining room table as Stan writes "you can survive this Mama, keep on keeping on, you chubby cunt" whilst Daisy dances like an angel in the background untangling a pepperami from her hair. Mark enters the room with a crock pot full of bubbling meat - it's time to feed my perfect Charl - he's been boiling dead road kill again. Finishing off with Charlotte swinging across her dog shit laden lawn in a hammock. Bare feet, toes touching, as Sixpence None the Richer 'Kiss Me' ehoes in the distance. Faded screen. "You're so worth it. I am too. Go have that bath. That bottle of white lightning. You deserve it".