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Faces By Grace #57 Living life in me vest, that’s how I became the Queen of Citywest!

The Proclaimers gave me a bit of help with this one!

🎶 🎶 🎶 🎶 🎶

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the Mam who ditches kids with glee.
When I go out, yeah, I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna wear the micro dress that skims me gee!
If I get drunk, well, I know he's gonna be,
I know my Kipsy's gonna be so proud of me.
If I sea swim, Tattler's know how it's gonna be,
I'm gonna wade in as far me left knee!

But I would stomp 500 steps,
And I would stomp 500 more,
Just to be that Mam who stomps 500 steps,
To flee out the front door.

When I hide me cah, yeah, I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be reveling in publicity.
When there's free tat, oh you know it's gonna be,
I'm gonna be the grabby one, gimme dah!
And when I give birth, oh you know it's gonna be,
It's gonna be a gifting day all about MEEEEEEEEEE!
I am beautiful, and you know what puzzles me,
Why me fan's are always calling me Greasy?

But I would stomp 500 steps,
And I would stomp 500 more,
Just to be that Mam who has 💤 500 naps!
Wait! What? 💤💤:sleep: SNORE!

Da la da la, forgot I'm a Ma!
Dun dun dun what kiddies, kiddies, kiddies, what kiddies, kiddies, kiddies.
Da la da la, need a new bra!
Dun dun dun swinging diddies, diddies, diddies, swinging diddies, diddies, diddies!

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
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The Ingham Family #233 Chris DeLonge: Putting The #### Into Scunthorpe

The Ingham Family #234 - Piido On A Fiido
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Johnny Depp and Amber Heard #18

To summarise these witnesses for the defendant

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as you were folks x
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

This is the second in a series of Jack Fell Over photographs.

Jack fell down the stairs.
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Elle Darby #58 return of the crack

‘Here’s some holidays I went on after being outed as a cunt’ 🤍🪐✨🌈
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Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

So interesting learning what days of the week all her followers shop on. Everyone should check it out. There are a few shopping on a Thursday and some on Wednesday. Others are a Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If I’m honest, it literally blew my mind, so varied.
Sunday, Monday, Shopping Days. Tuesday, Wednesday Shopping Days. Thursday, Friday Shopping Days. Saturday, what a day, shopping all day with OH.
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

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So she's going to talk about something that doesn't exist for an hour 🤔
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

3,000 people have told Jack Monroe what day they shop on so far. God bless all she does for us all, some people don’t realise how lucky we are to have her fighting on our side 💕
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

We interrupt today's chicken thumbing with a reminder that Jack Monroe literally cannot lie ("tedious sigh" [sic])

(I found this when looking for my favourite Jack tweet where she was fingering old vegetables)

TATTOOS
2013
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2021
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Ah, found it. Not a tweet, a blog post fingering old vegetables. Sexy!
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Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

There’s something not the full ticket with her to feel nothing about wearing £2k earrings to do paid media work in a foodbank she’s used to build her monetised brand. It’s a sickness.

Like even when the Kardashian Jenners or any real housewives franchise goes to do charitable work they’ll largely dress down in Nike-level brand athleisure because the alternative is grotesque.
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

Looks like we will find out how a cake can be both moist, sloppy and dry at the same time next week!
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TBF, her making a cake in the slow cooker can't be much worse than her attempts to make it the traditional way. I still can't believe that this was the photo used for a professional collab.

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Elle Darby #58 return of the crack

Anyone else find 'dada' vomit inducing?
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The Ingham Family #233 Chris DeLonge: Putting The #### Into Scunthorpe

lmao! esmes face is now blurred....but they don't read here
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The Ingham Family #233 Chris DeLonge: Putting The #### Into Scunthorpe

Haven't even finished hate-watching yet. When I get an idea, I have to make it asap. 😁
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Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

I'm shit at budgeting btw.

I just can't make the £970 a month stretch to become £1500 a month, I'm doing it wrong somehow.. 🤪
I mean say what you like about Jack. But her budgeting skills are excellent. She manages to to make £19 stretch to Tiffany earrings, a Chinese takeaway once a week, Netflix, a weekend away in Venice and the rent on her two storey bungalow.
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Katie Hayes #142 travel exspect, fashion queen, been going Dubai since she was 14

I’ve just been broady to Melanie Louise and a group of girls were stood outside and someone pulled up truffs insta and it was a pic of Oluv, one of them reckons ‘aw she’s dressed for the funeral of her mums career’ 🤣 honestly noggzy is full of trolls I love it
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

She's probably using so many words incorrectly because she's a gibbering intellectually malnourished pillock but it really does feel like she's doing it on purpose to annoy me. Well I have news for you pal: the spite only fuels me 😈 Behold, the latest Jacktionary update! Eight new words added, seven of them originating from the last few days. That's writer, author and journalist Jack Monroe everyone. Big round of applause for Jack 👏
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Harry and Meghan #189 Monte*hit(tv)Show (EN)Titled "how low can they go"!

So she's flown from Montecito to Texas to lay flowers for people she didnt know..
And Harry bitched about people mourning for his mother when they didnt know her.


That Harkle hypocrisy strikes again.
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Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

I'm just too TIRED to think about Jack thumbing a carcass this morning.
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Elle Darby #58 return of the crack

I swear her body didn’t look like that when her angels have spotted her out and about town?
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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

We probably already posted this:

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Jack Monroe #313 You people are weird

Thread title by squig, nominated by @MistyWindows, squig screenshot by @Veronicaaa. What a collaboration.

No idea how to close the other thread down or add all the important info that everybody else does. Helllpppp. Hope I did the thread title right, please feel free to correct if I didn't!
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